i dont know what to do...
god damnit, i dont know what to fucking do. i really cant live without ashley, i deffinatly cant. i messed up really really bad. i think who ever reads this knows what i did, im sorry ashley. it was a very very big mistake, i am really regreatful. im sorry that i hurt you so bad... please... stop crying. i love you ashley. you said for everything you ever showed me and stuff.... well.... im sorry ok, i dont know what else to say. im sorry, im not trying to blame you but you know you did do the same thing. i can overlook that, i remember how much it hurt me 5 months ago, so i know what you are going through. i just dont want you to go through it. i know you love me. i know you do. when i came over you house on sun everything seemed ok, we were happy even though we had to over look everything. and i swear touching you made me feel warm and happy. it felt like i was comming togeather again. and i dont know what to do right now. i cant live without you, i know you said you mean the stuff you say, even the fuck yous, but i am here to help, and i will, weather you like it or not. dont you realize how much you care for me sometimes? i know i dont all the time, think about sunday though... pwise.... i just love you so much, and it hurts so bad when you tell me to fuck myself. it feel like my life is ending when your sad... which it is if you ever left. i just dont know what to fucking do. please realize that i love you, please. i know yelling helps, but it just hurts me so bad. crying allot latly. but you were bringing up stuff that we did togeather and shared and it felt good right? just, remember how happy we were and how much i love you. and you loved me. please ashley i feel like im dying, like you said i DONT expect you to help me, but i just dont know what to do. i know i cant live without you. i know that. i love you ashley, so fucking much. i miss you. thank you for everything, im not angry at you at all. be happy... i love you.