FUCK ME? FUCK ME? NO FUCK YOU!!! HOW COULD YOU! WHEN IM SO HURT!

[pestilentchild]

seems in the end people are only in it for there own selfish needs. even if it is being just wanting you to be alive just because they dont feel like being hurt. i have lost everything in you. It's over. I am all through. This is it now i am only good for nothing. And nothing is what i am. i am shutting myself off. i will not read anyones email (i have also blocked all emails addresse exept 1 so dont even try)... exept a select one maybe... if i am sent any. i just want to be left alone. like a disease. i just want to curl up and die. i have never been so depressed. withdraw sucks. this will be my last update. i do not want to remember this journal. i just saw tiger out of the corner of my eye.... there is it again what the fuck. tiger... i love you.... im about to be crying allot. im so sorry to everyone out there who i hurt in the past. i never wanted to hurt you, and now im living lies, nothing is true, everything is false. i just want to sease to exist. im to depressed for anything. i made so many bad decisions. i wish i could go back now, and let no one be hurt. Im sorry for dragging you all down with me. i know how bad i fucked up. i just wish everything could go back to the way it was. everyone now is living a lie. i could explane so many... not worth it though. i have talked so much today it hurts. i did realize allot though... shallowness is a bitch. and it isnt want i need right now, im so increadibly hurt. but it ends today. i have decided it wouldnt be right to post everything right now, and i will also make another post tommorrow or the day after. I just think now that certin things were a mistake, dosnt seem to be helping others, and they dont seem to help me. well... all gone... all dead... my god, you could have find me by following the trail of death. i feel so horrible... so sick... so dead. but alive in certin ways. i have written all this very fast, so spelling is really off, sorry about that, but fuck you. well, no idea what im going to do now. hopfully things work out the way i would like them too, and everyone can just be happy. i will update later with everything else... just for now all i guess i can say is drastic changes lead to emense amounts of pain, maybe death. everything ends.

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