I <3 Shibari and Other Confessions (Warning: Adult Content)
So, I woke up this morning with the most satanic crick in my neck and shoulder I've ever had. And considering I seem to do the opposite of relaxing while sleeping, I'm kind of use to clenched and achey muscles. Movement was barely achievable without the help of pure, otherwise pent-up irritibality bordering on the fury of gods. I've taken more pain relievers than I probably should have, but I once was an expert at taking copious amounts of over-the-counter meddies, *sings* A long, long time ago... But, I digress.
In light of this pain that goes beyond my vast threshold, I thought to myself: "Self, I believe some Shibari and D is in order." And there was.
For those of you who do not know what Shibari is :
Shibari (Meaning 'to tie' or 'to bind') is a Japanese style of sexual bondage or BDSM. The original terminology was Kinbaku-bi, which means 'tight binding', but Shibari came into common use in the West around 1990. Shibari involves tying up the bottom (or uke) in intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope. Shibari differs from Western bondage in that, instead of just immobilizing or restraining the bottom, the bottom gains pleasure from being under pressure and strain of the ropes, squeezing the breasts or genitals. The aesthetics of the bound person’s position are also important: in particular, Japanese bondage is notorious for its use of asymmetric positions to heighten the psychological impact of bondage.
A picture for your curious little eyes:
Now that you are properly informed, I will continue.
As the title states, I love Shibari. I love the fact that without either the rope or the submissive, there cannot be art. You cannot make something beautiful out of the two seperately. But together... it is something very special. I speak from personal experience.
To bind someone, calmly, sensually, feeling the dynamics between each other change from equals to Dominant and submissive, watching their eyes glaze over and body become ever-welcoming to whatever you wish to unleash upon it. That is what I love most, the final acceptance. The surrender.
Though my fondness for Japanese rope bondage is vast, I'm partial to the Western style as well. Not as intricate/aesthetically pleasing, but it's quick and gets the person in a rather compromised position, sans sensuality. This is for those "I-need-you-tied-up-right-the-fuck-now" spanking/flogging/general beating sessions. Oh, and one more teeny confession:
I love hurting people. Consensually, of course.
It's nice to be able to say it without the tsunami wave of guilt from hell. (It's taken years, trust me.) My poor 13-year-old mind didn't know there was a word for what I felt; hell, didn't know there was an entire community of people that embraced what I so very badly wanted to do. My past is a meltng pot of fucked-up, which led to very LARGE anger problems and generally violent mentality. I wanted to get back at the world for all the suffering I went through; I wanted lots of shiny red rain and screams that would turn your blood into freon. I wanted to shove the evil and the innocent into the the dirt, and smile so very maniacally as they pleaded for mercy. I wanted them to call to their god as loud as they could, and drown in the silence that ensued. I refused to be the victim, and became something else entirely.
Fast forward around 3/4 years later, a good friend of mine who knew of my 'desires' introduced me to the BDSM world for the first time. "See, Pinky? You're not as horrible as you think." She had said this with a little smile, and my joy couldn't be contained. I had tears falling before I even noticed I had the urge to cry. The mental torment I had put myself through for years, the self-hatred I felt for wanting to severely harm others, the harming I would do to myself as pathetic atonement... It was like a morbid 'born-again' moment; all was forgiven, and accepted forever and ever, amen. (that hurt a little inside.)
And so, I continued my path of BDSM, soaking up all the information I could, hoping one day to find someone who would be willing to 'play' with me, to experiment and grow. And I did. I've had the honor of owning two submissives, and I loved them dearly. I hope to expand my knowledge, experience more, and perhaps teach others.
Remember kids: There's nothing wrong with wanting to give up your control, be beaten, degraded, humiliated, taken beyond the limit, as long as you trust that person. There's also nothing wrong with wanting to take control, make them beg, ruin hope, tease and torture til they can't take anymore, as long as there is mutual consent and well established rules. Communication is key, in any relationship. Stay safe, and be proud , my friends.
Your loving(?) Sadomasochist,
~P.