Glorified Neurosis and a Carload of Explosives
Cait, Timmy, Kristy and I went to see the Queers. It was okay. I hadn't really heard them much before. Oh this is pathetic. I get on here and try and write down all the good shit that happens. It's so self-deceptive. I'd look back and think that I was actually enjoying life at this point. Ha. So much shit just keeps getting piled up. Man I can't take it anymore. I'm supposed to be staying here I guess. I don't know how that's gonna work out. I don't really even have anywhere to stay. Why is it that people fear change so much? I know I'm only staying because of Cait. I mean, my friends help to influence me but she is the big thing. But why do I see myself just up and leaving sometime soon. Shit's gonna become too much for me to handle, and I'm just gonna fucking run away like I always do. Fucking Coward. And where will you I end up this time? How long before I land myself in jail. I'm such and eternal fuck-up. I find myself a bit jealous of Duncan these days. Isn't that ridiculous? I wish I could start over. So many mistakes. It just gets harder and harder to live them all down. I've got to turn things around for myself. Things have got to get better soon. Cuz if they get much worse I'm gonna fucking snap.