My life right now.
It's been a while since I update this journal.
What to say?
I had a very interesting summer. I found the best friends I could find. I found summer love.
June 9. I fell back in love with the girl who broke my heart all those years ago. I gave her a second chance. I was hesitate at first. Why wouldn't I be? She broke my heart before, what was to stop her from doing it again? I took it all in chance. Put my faith in the relationship. We had a ups and downs just like any other couple. I loved her. I love her. 3 months. We lasted 3 months and it was the best months of my life. I learned to trust, to feel, to love again. It was fast paced relationship. Maybe that was the downfall. I moved into her house about a month after we were going out. My mother couldn't handle the thought of me being a lesbian so I moved out and in with my now ex gf.
My mother was...difficult this summer. I never seen this side of her before. She practically disowned me for a while. Then something happened. She accepted me. She still loves me and that's great.
Back to my relationship. Last month, I moved 400 miles away from my hometown to live with the girl I had become to love again. Even my two best friends tagged along. It was great and all fun at first. At first. Then I became to notice these changes in ourselves. We both became two different people and it changed our relationship a lot. We opened up ourselves to each other. She knew me, I knew the most of her. She was the kind to hide. Never let anyone see the real her. Even hid it from me. But I saw a glimpse of her. It bothered me. This person she was. We just started to drift. We didn't say "I love you" to each other as much. Didn't blush at the sight of each other anymore. Didn't talk like we use to. So I came back to my hometown, to just figure out myself and make some money while I was at it. I went back to her about a week later. And a week after that. We broke up. On good terms. We decided that we needed to figure ourselves out. Let's face it, we are both fucked up.
I made it through the first week. We broke up September 30. It's now October 8. It was a hard week. The first few nights were really hard. I couldn't sleep. Eat. Function in other words. With the help of my friends and talking to people. I started to see that I can make it. Be single. Depend on myself and not anyone else. It's still hard. I look back at the memories we shared together and they were happy memories. But that's all they are. Memories. Something I'll cherish. But it's time for me to move on. Live my life as much as I can.
I'm glad I met a person like her though. She's so smart and do anything she put her mind to. I hope she doesn't waste that. I hope that one day she will find true happiness, for me aswell. People come and go. All I have are my experiences and everything in between.
Wow. That's a long update.
Well...Tomorrow I start my first day of work. Something that I like doing. For now.
This is me. Love it?
What to say?
I had a very interesting summer. I found the best friends I could find. I found summer love.
June 9. I fell back in love with the girl who broke my heart all those years ago. I gave her a second chance. I was hesitate at first. Why wouldn't I be? She broke my heart before, what was to stop her from doing it again? I took it all in chance. Put my faith in the relationship. We had a ups and downs just like any other couple. I loved her. I love her. 3 months. We lasted 3 months and it was the best months of my life. I learned to trust, to feel, to love again. It was fast paced relationship. Maybe that was the downfall. I moved into her house about a month after we were going out. My mother couldn't handle the thought of me being a lesbian so I moved out and in with my now ex gf.
My mother was...difficult this summer. I never seen this side of her before. She practically disowned me for a while. Then something happened. She accepted me. She still loves me and that's great.
Back to my relationship. Last month, I moved 400 miles away from my hometown to live with the girl I had become to love again. Even my two best friends tagged along. It was great and all fun at first. At first. Then I became to notice these changes in ourselves. We both became two different people and it changed our relationship a lot. We opened up ourselves to each other. She knew me, I knew the most of her. She was the kind to hide. Never let anyone see the real her. Even hid it from me. But I saw a glimpse of her. It bothered me. This person she was. We just started to drift. We didn't say "I love you" to each other as much. Didn't blush at the sight of each other anymore. Didn't talk like we use to. So I came back to my hometown, to just figure out myself and make some money while I was at it. I went back to her about a week later. And a week after that. We broke up. On good terms. We decided that we needed to figure ourselves out. Let's face it, we are both fucked up.
I made it through the first week. We broke up September 30. It's now October 8. It was a hard week. The first few nights were really hard. I couldn't sleep. Eat. Function in other words. With the help of my friends and talking to people. I started to see that I can make it. Be single. Depend on myself and not anyone else. It's still hard. I look back at the memories we shared together and they were happy memories. But that's all they are. Memories. Something I'll cherish. But it's time for me to move on. Live my life as much as I can.
I'm glad I met a person like her though. She's so smart and do anything she put her mind to. I hope she doesn't waste that. I hope that one day she will find true happiness, for me aswell. People come and go. All I have are my experiences and everything in between.
Wow. That's a long update.
Well...Tomorrow I start my first day of work. Something that I like doing. For now.
This is me. Love it?