Cry With A Smile : A Yaoi Poem
Title: Cry With A Smile : A Yaoi Poem
Author: Perverted Priestess 69
Pairing: Aizen/Gin
Rating: G
Warning: D/s Themes, mentions of bloodplay
Summary: Somewhere locked in the back of his mind, well guarded and hidden from all… It is there.
Your smile incenses me
When you give it so freely
To press my madness to your lips
To taste our metallic melody
You give me no choice but to love you
Won’t you let lose of these chains and be free with me?
Is there no way you can trust me?
I know that I’ve made this bed to suffer
But in you, I just wish for a moment in time
You could see what’s in my heart
Just once it could be embedded in your sensory memory
That I too once had wings
Wings that were ripped away from me
Just once I wish you would let me bleed for you
Inside my head an irony added to this chaos
If I could be less
If I could just… bleed for you
Survive for you
The only time in this world and the next
I could find happiness in hell
Is to give my truth
To suffer for you
Why can’t you see
That devils cry too
Constant pain born in their souls
Pain of desire
The need to be free
Never to be seen as anything other than what we truly are
Betrayers of all
No truth
No trust
No real love
I’m lost to the void
A black hole written on my soul
One I can’t destroy
One that leaves me alone
Without you
Without anyone
Just me struggling against
This glass window, pain
Looking at the form
On the other side
Smiling for me
Just for me
Adoring me
Praising …me
But none of this is real
Not for me
Your touch
Your kiss
This song
It’s lying to me as we search each other
As my arms embrace you
You could never truly know me
I can never truly show myself
It would kill both of us
Me, for the shame it could bring
You, for the broken love you’ve endured
Recovery is a worthless word between our two worlds
Every time you curve to my hands
I can feel your want to know
My mouth wants nothing more than to say the truth to you
But the pain is so real
I hate who I’ve become
Behind the mask
Before your eyes
God doesn’t cry?
Does He?
To cry with a smile
Is all my black heart can manage
When no one really knows my pain
Not even you
The one I love the most even more than myself
Than again maybe God does cry…
Every once in a great while
~~Wadoh~~
P/N: Yeah, I finally got a sentiment out of Aizen that is suitable to his relationship with Gin. X… that unknown part of anyone, any place, anything or any idea is the sole force behind this poem. I’d like to think somewhere in his past there was a division between who we know and who was born to that innocent name, Sousuke Aizen. After all, his past is a very subjective thing. Who am I to say it doesn't exist!
This was also inspired by the beautiful song Cry With a Smile by Illaria Graziano. She is such a beautiful songstress and the sentimental moon of the song and it’s title fit this idea like hand in glove.