(no subject)
I remember when my relationship was fresh and new. me and my boyfriend didn't need anything but each other to have a good time, and when i say a good time i mean perfect. before his family moved, he lived so close. i used to think it was a far walk 1.09 miles, a 4 minute drive, but now when i look back, it was perfect. we used to spend hours laying in his bed. the temperature was hot, it was approaching summer, but we layed under the covers anyway, just for an excuse to be close, and put our faces next to each other in front of the window. he had one of those white window fans so there was always the most perfect breeze coming through that window and it was lovely. around eleven thirty, after many naps and a movie or two, we'd finally get up and start the walk home. i used to be annoyed about the walk, the fact that i couldnt get the ride, it was only 1.09 miles, a 4 minute drive. i wish i could go back in time and take another walk from his house to mine. when we walked, it was cooler than inside, naturally as it stays hotter inside the house even when the sun goes down. the air felt good when you walked out the door, but half way through the walk, i would complain about how i was cold. i just wanted to feel your arms around me. we'd take the backway and pass those apartments, then the blinking light. the moon would be out and provide the perfect amount of light for our journey. down northern, over the train tracks, when we would get to my house, sometimes you would come in, but sometimes you would just give me a kiss and walk back home. i thought it was so romantic, you walking all the way here just to turn around. i would always tell you to call me as soon as you got home, i told you i was worried and you'd better call me as soon as you got in. by the time i got into bed i would get the call, its only a 1.09 mile walk, a 4 minute drive. even though i was just with you i was so happy to get the call, it was like i hadnt talked to you in years.
now, when you give me that kiss and start to walk, i dont know where you're going. i lay in my bed and wait for a call but eventually i fall asleep with the phone right next to me. im sorry that this is the way it is for us now. im sorry you have to walk all the way in to nesconset and hope you find someone. all i can say is that theres hope and this is only temporary. ill have a car soon, more freedom, we wont need anyone. we have such a strain on our relationship and i think its begining to change things and im not going to let that happen. ive been selfish lately and ive gotten so used to you coming down to visit me it seems like you never moved. i take for granted how much you give up just to come down here and find friends houses to sleep over just to see me. i love you, and i dont think i could ever stop, no matter how hard i tried. i dont need us to be fresh and new, and i dont need anyone else, because no matter how far you go, and no matter how little of time we get to spend with each other, i want you to always know it wont effect us. because i'm going to love you until the day i die.
now, when you give me that kiss and start to walk, i dont know where you're going. i lay in my bed and wait for a call but eventually i fall asleep with the phone right next to me. im sorry that this is the way it is for us now. im sorry you have to walk all the way in to nesconset and hope you find someone. all i can say is that theres hope and this is only temporary. ill have a car soon, more freedom, we wont need anyone. we have such a strain on our relationship and i think its begining to change things and im not going to let that happen. ive been selfish lately and ive gotten so used to you coming down to visit me it seems like you never moved. i take for granted how much you give up just to come down here and find friends houses to sleep over just to see me. i love you, and i dont think i could ever stop, no matter how hard i tried. i dont need us to be fresh and new, and i dont need anyone else, because no matter how far you go, and no matter how little of time we get to spend with each other, i want you to always know it wont effect us. because i'm going to love you until the day i die.