. It's not a good lap dance unless a strippers crying .
It's been almost eight years since I took my clothes off for money. Portland strip clubs are different than Austin strip clubs. Feels more important to observe at first. Everything is unusually familiar and comfortable. I belong down here. For now. Quick money. Quick tricks. Sadly hopeful dreams that strippers tell themselves to keep the hours passing. I fell jaded young. But I have an honest sense of reality that the other don't.
I had an interesting conversation with two men from Germany tonight. We discussed Hitler. How Germany views Hitler. The east versus west Germany. His vision. His loyalty to his vision of evolution. He recommended a German book called "Hitler and Stalin."
Music never sounded so sweet. It's been eight years since I danced. It's not just the men that follow me... I've never had so many women put me on such a pedestal. Never have I been able to put three related jobs on a resume and have it actually count for something. Never have I been such a successful professional alcoholic. Apparently, I know more pole tricks working for one year than any girl who dances in the south.
One boy propositioned me for sex this evening.
"How much?"
"How much for what?"
"Sex."
He was escorted out within ten minutes.
A black man [ex-pimp] coached and explained to me today how to use men properly. How to work in teams to push $50 to $5,000. How to judge income based on a man's appearance. Timing. Opportunity. Merciless mathematics. Always walk away with the most. He has four sisters. He helped raise them tough. Interesting and surprisingly educational conversation. He had a hard time seeing that we are of different species. Or maybe I did.
Another man. A 31-year-old successful engineer. An ex-marine. "The best." 38 killings. Sexy as hell. While he wouldn't admit it- he's following me already. He won't let me follow him. Yet. He was escorted out by security a couple hours after I arrived. He has a tattoo of a snake on his right forearm. He'll be back.
During the affair,
I learned...
My fate is already set.
Now all I do is sit back
and ride.
Instincts lead me
securely
these days.
I had an interesting conversation with two men from Germany tonight. We discussed Hitler. How Germany views Hitler. The east versus west Germany. His vision. His loyalty to his vision of evolution. He recommended a German book called "Hitler and Stalin."
Music never sounded so sweet. It's been eight years since I danced. It's not just the men that follow me... I've never had so many women put me on such a pedestal. Never have I been able to put three related jobs on a resume and have it actually count for something. Never have I been such a successful professional alcoholic. Apparently, I know more pole tricks working for one year than any girl who dances in the south.
One boy propositioned me for sex this evening.
"How much?"
"How much for what?"
"Sex."
He was escorted out within ten minutes.
A black man [ex-pimp] coached and explained to me today how to use men properly. How to work in teams to push $50 to $5,000. How to judge income based on a man's appearance. Timing. Opportunity. Merciless mathematics. Always walk away with the most. He has four sisters. He helped raise them tough. Interesting and surprisingly educational conversation. He had a hard time seeing that we are of different species. Or maybe I did.
Another man. A 31-year-old successful engineer. An ex-marine. "The best." 38 killings. Sexy as hell. While he wouldn't admit it- he's following me already. He won't let me follow him. Yet. He was escorted out by security a couple hours after I arrived. He has a tattoo of a snake on his right forearm. He'll be back.
During the affair,
I learned...
My fate is already set.
Now all I do is sit back
and ride.
Instincts lead me
securely
these days.