self-assessment
It is within me to create. I am a thousand hand-written to-do lists
measuring the sum of a full day's ambition. I am palms up, emptying
myself for the channels that run through and loop back. I am the
stubborn voice that disturbs the lotus position to suggest it's "time
to get to the dishes." I am a lucid dreamer, a midnight jigsaw of
carnivals and horse cemeteries I construct behind closed lids. I build
tiny wooden tipis in the far left corner of my kiva, an amateur fire
maker in the midst of a cold season.
I am hesitant to highlight my faults, my anxiety, my self-conscious
manner. If I could organize my thoughts I could accomplish all that I
envision for myself. I am short of temper, short fused and short
coming. I self medicate with cardio and deep lunges, fill myself with
teas and vegetarian meals and work to create stronger habits.
I am the most enthused dancer at desert Reggae shows, breaking sweats
to positive music. I am the new generation- armies of youth setting
down our weapons to rethink our approach. I am a revolutionary,
training myself to slow down, focus energy on the things that nourish
me.
I am the Texas upbringing in me that longs for flip-flops and the
coconut after smell of summer sunscreen. I am the frigid toes that
refuse to risk the cold stone floor, the stubborn index finger that
jabs at the snooze button. I am fearful of the cold, constricted and
claustrophobic in the freezing air. I am training myself to regard it
more as a sensation than a discomfort.
I am a cosmic kaleidoscope of breath, blood and memory. I build small
stages for puppet shows and write children's fantasy when it's too
rainy to leave the house. I am the guru, the student, and the sky. I
am realizing that potential is limitless, that I create my own
attitude, and nothing is impossible.
I fear I will parent children that will never know a glacier. Blue
whales will become beasts of legend, and four seasons will bleed into
two. I fear for my peers in the city, where the night lights become a
kind of synthetic day, and the constellations disappear. However, I am
also an optimist, willing to storm the highlands and demand we bring
it back to basics, or lose it all forever. I am not alone.
measuring the sum of a full day's ambition. I am palms up, emptying
myself for the channels that run through and loop back. I am the
stubborn voice that disturbs the lotus position to suggest it's "time
to get to the dishes." I am a lucid dreamer, a midnight jigsaw of
carnivals and horse cemeteries I construct behind closed lids. I build
tiny wooden tipis in the far left corner of my kiva, an amateur fire
maker in the midst of a cold season.
I am hesitant to highlight my faults, my anxiety, my self-conscious
manner. If I could organize my thoughts I could accomplish all that I
envision for myself. I am short of temper, short fused and short
coming. I self medicate with cardio and deep lunges, fill myself with
teas and vegetarian meals and work to create stronger habits.
I am the most enthused dancer at desert Reggae shows, breaking sweats
to positive music. I am the new generation- armies of youth setting
down our weapons to rethink our approach. I am a revolutionary,
training myself to slow down, focus energy on the things that nourish
me.
I am the Texas upbringing in me that longs for flip-flops and the
coconut after smell of summer sunscreen. I am the frigid toes that
refuse to risk the cold stone floor, the stubborn index finger that
jabs at the snooze button. I am fearful of the cold, constricted and
claustrophobic in the freezing air. I am training myself to regard it
more as a sensation than a discomfort.
I am a cosmic kaleidoscope of breath, blood and memory. I build small
stages for puppet shows and write children's fantasy when it's too
rainy to leave the house. I am the guru, the student, and the sky. I
am realizing that potential is limitless, that I create my own
attitude, and nothing is impossible.
I fear I will parent children that will never know a glacier. Blue
whales will become beasts of legend, and four seasons will bleed into
two. I fear for my peers in the city, where the night lights become a
kind of synthetic day, and the constellations disappear. However, I am
also an optimist, willing to storm the highlands and demand we bring
it back to basics, or lose it all forever. I am not alone.