A mix of the healthy and the unhealthy
I got my injections. They were rough during... I somehow used them as an excuse to not do anything, because they made it so hard to walk. I think most people who have seen me recently are wise to the fact that I stopped sleeping and eating due to some odd medication changes. I started taking one that suppressed my appetite and kept me up, and I stopped taking the narcotics and sleeping pills. And of course, I've dropped the 30 lbs. in 2 months. So that's starting to become noticeable. It finally caught up with me on Friday morning. All of my muscles locked up and I had difficulty moving around. I was very weak. I was pretty sure in the morning that I'd end up in the doctor, but I felt really dumb about it, because I knew exactly what was causing it and I didn't want to go. I ended up eating and going to acupuncture. I felt renewed that day. But then I still didn't sleep for the next 2 days. And I started arguing with someone and I was so tired and angry and surly, and I knew I had to start work the next day. I ended up just taking a sleeping pill again, after weeks of being off them. It knocked me right out. And I finallly slept for the first time in weeks.
I found out because I was being so anti-social this weekend I missed my wonderful friend Caley, who had tried to email me on my work email (which I was not checking), and was only in town for the weekend. I also missed Leah, who tried to contact me on LJ. I bungled up two potential social contacts. One of which I cannot make up. However, on Sunday, I did get out of the house with Amanda, and I got a new swimsuit. I found out that I dropped 6 sizes in jeans as well. I guess that's a lot, but probably partially their tendency to downsize things every few months. I guess it's nice to get new jeans after having ripped the crotch out of 2 pairs just this winter.
So, I did something yesterday. I want to get out of the house more. I want to do something with Leah this week, and the mysterious *hyarrostar*, if we can work out our schedules. And then next week, I plan to start weightlifting with a friend here at WC who is now officially a survivor of cancer. Get these atrophied muscles working again. I bet that will help a lot. So... still want to get off the drugs altogether. Still want to be healthier about my fitness. Still want to be social. I think I need to allow myself to go partly in the right direction and give myself some allowances. Hard from going all fucked up to all healthy.
I found out because I was being so anti-social this weekend I missed my wonderful friend Caley, who had tried to email me on my work email (which I was not checking), and was only in town for the weekend. I also missed Leah, who tried to contact me on LJ. I bungled up two potential social contacts. One of which I cannot make up. However, on Sunday, I did get out of the house with Amanda, and I got a new swimsuit. I found out that I dropped 6 sizes in jeans as well. I guess that's a lot, but probably partially their tendency to downsize things every few months. I guess it's nice to get new jeans after having ripped the crotch out of 2 pairs just this winter.
So, I did something yesterday. I want to get out of the house more. I want to do something with Leah this week, and the mysterious *hyarrostar*, if we can work out our schedules. And then next week, I plan to start weightlifting with a friend here at WC who is now officially a survivor of cancer. Get these atrophied muscles working again. I bet that will help a lot. So... still want to get off the drugs altogether. Still want to be healthier about my fitness. Still want to be social. I think I need to allow myself to go partly in the right direction and give myself some allowances. Hard from going all fucked up to all healthy.