Honesty
It comes to a point, laces into me like so many mental lashings. I recoil, and now remain stunned.
A victim of my own inability to be completely honest. A lie of omission never seemed to be much of a sin before, until you start living a life based on rigorous honesty. A slow conscience develops, or rather evolves in the parts of the void you attempted to fill with vain attempts to achieve happiness in the physical world.
And now I understand where that feeling that I don't totally belong comes from. It's out of that same void, present simply because that vast lack still exists.
It's invading my priorities, but now I'm old enough to understand that I can't wish or ignore it away. I need to stand within the self disappointment and allow it to consume me, and once again realize that the only thing being consumed is the pain. And I arise from the ashes, triumphant, today's Phoenix.
I can do all this, and I will. But this time I'll need help. If only my pride will let me ask for it.
A victim of my own inability to be completely honest. A lie of omission never seemed to be much of a sin before, until you start living a life based on rigorous honesty. A slow conscience develops, or rather evolves in the parts of the void you attempted to fill with vain attempts to achieve happiness in the physical world.
And now I understand where that feeling that I don't totally belong comes from. It's out of that same void, present simply because that vast lack still exists.
It's invading my priorities, but now I'm old enough to understand that I can't wish or ignore it away. I need to stand within the self disappointment and allow it to consume me, and once again realize that the only thing being consumed is the pain. And I arise from the ashes, triumphant, today's Phoenix.
I can do all this, and I will. But this time I'll need help. If only my pride will let me ask for it.