Pet Peeve: Eyes AKA Orbs, Pools, Smoldering Embers, Dagger-slinging Circus Performers, etc.
Novelists expound on how emotions can just flash through them; manga and anime artists exaggerate them; some youtube users specialize in makeup for them; we cry through them! So much expression can be packed into eyes that it's inevitable that dozens of metaphors and personifications follow their every move.
I've seen many a description of eyes in fanfiction and online stories, and some of them get on my nerves.
If My Eyes Were Guns, You'd Be Dead Right Now
When eyes are described in the "if looks could kill," "dagger-shooting," "gut-piercing" vein, I'm actually fine with that, with the exception of calling them "laser beams." Although I would get a kick from seeing eyes illustrated as swirling vortexes or flying machetes, getting too creative can also get you carried away. I like it better when writers stick to metaphors that have withstood the test of time.
Jade Orbs Met Onyx
This is the metaphor that aggravates me most. The word "orb" refers to a 3D object, so if you use it to signify an eye, you're conveying the image of the entire eye. Even if there's an understanding that eyeballs are spherical, we don't see them that way in their most natural state: in people's heads. So calling them "orbs" makes no sense. It makes even less sense when you add colors to orbs, because you picture them in a single color. You know what I think when I see the words "chocolate orbs?"
Mmmmm.
Like the title above, fanfic authors are prone to pairing colors of precious stones with orbs to try and make the reference sound better. But describing someone's eyes as shiny stones only serves to make him or her look freaky.
But people might say, that's stupid, [Persnickety Fox]. Orbs refer to irises, not eyeballs. Irises are flat, buddy. That's the cornea you're talking about, and that's transparent, so--I am getting way too into this. Either way, orbs and eyes do not go together in my book.
Your Eyes Should Come With A Lifeguard
If you can stare at someone's eyes all day, fine. Just don't tell me you can drown in them.
You know what? Jacuzzis are generally more circular than pools, right? Why don't people depict eyes as jacuzzis?
Because eyes may make water, but bodies of water do not make eyes.
A Smolder, Embers, Anything Else That Burns
The burning metaphor usually occurs when an author conveys lust or anger. Yes, it works. I just find it cheesy and overused. A recent movie sums up my reaction quite nicely: the smolder.
You Are Getting Sleepy
If someone's eyes are "hypnotic," the character would not know that because he or she is getting hypnotized. You can argue that a character can figure this out by watching someone else get hypnotized. But is the guy with ocular hypnosis attractive if he can make you quack like a duck at the count of three? Or worse yet, make you fall asleep? Isn't there a drug that makes you do that on dates? Yes, there is. That's why I find the "hypnotic eyes" phrase misused and more than a little creepy.
I'm sure there are more pet-peeve worthy descriptions out there. What are yours?
I've seen many a description of eyes in fanfiction and online stories, and some of them get on my nerves.
If My Eyes Were Guns, You'd Be Dead Right Now
When eyes are described in the "if looks could kill," "dagger-shooting," "gut-piercing" vein, I'm actually fine with that, with the exception of calling them "laser beams." Although I would get a kick from seeing eyes illustrated as swirling vortexes or flying machetes, getting too creative can also get you carried away. I like it better when writers stick to metaphors that have withstood the test of time.
Jade Orbs Met Onyx
This is the metaphor that aggravates me most. The word "orb" refers to a 3D object, so if you use it to signify an eye, you're conveying the image of the entire eye. Even if there's an understanding that eyeballs are spherical, we don't see them that way in their most natural state: in people's heads. So calling them "orbs" makes no sense. It makes even less sense when you add colors to orbs, because you picture them in a single color. You know what I think when I see the words "chocolate orbs?"
Mmmmm.
Like the title above, fanfic authors are prone to pairing colors of precious stones with orbs to try and make the reference sound better. But describing someone's eyes as shiny stones only serves to make him or her look freaky.
But people might say, that's stupid, [Persnickety Fox]. Orbs refer to irises, not eyeballs. Irises are flat, buddy. That's the cornea you're talking about, and that's transparent, so--I am getting way too into this. Either way, orbs and eyes do not go together in my book.
Your Eyes Should Come With A Lifeguard
If you can stare at someone's eyes all day, fine. Just don't tell me you can drown in them.
You know what? Jacuzzis are generally more circular than pools, right? Why don't people depict eyes as jacuzzis?
Because eyes may make water, but bodies of water do not make eyes.
A Smolder, Embers, Anything Else That Burns
The burning metaphor usually occurs when an author conveys lust or anger. Yes, it works. I just find it cheesy and overused. A recent movie sums up my reaction quite nicely: the smolder.
You Are Getting Sleepy
If someone's eyes are "hypnotic," the character would not know that because he or she is getting hypnotized. You can argue that a character can figure this out by watching someone else get hypnotized. But is the guy with ocular hypnosis attractive if he can make you quack like a duck at the count of three? Or worse yet, make you fall asleep? Isn't there a drug that makes you do that on dates? Yes, there is. That's why I find the "hypnotic eyes" phrase misused and more than a little creepy.
I'm sure there are more pet-peeve worthy descriptions out there. What are yours?