Title: A Grand Day Out
Author: Persiflage_1
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Martha, Wallace, Gromit
Rating: U
Spoilers: None for Doctor Who !
Summary: A Moon landing with a difference…
Disclaimer: The BBC owns "Doctor Who" and the Doctor owns me…
Author Notes:
evilgeniuslady asked me for a fic in which Ten and Martha meet Wallace and Gromit, and offered "Bonus points if it's on the moon, and the moon's actually made of cheese." After a quick re-watch of the film an idea leapt into my head and this fic is the result. The ensuing crack should be firmly laid at the door of
evilgeniuslady, Nick Park of Aardman Animations, and the Ten!Bunny - I'm merely the conduit through which the ideas came to fruition ! Happy Holidays
evilgeniuslady - thank you for your friendship and lots of fab icons !
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"Where are we?" asked Martha as she and the Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS.
"The Moon."
"Which Moon? 'cos I've been to the Moon - several times now - and it doesn't look like this! Or - " She paused as the overwhelming smell nearly overpowered her olfactory faculties, "smell like this! Why does it smell of cheese?" She glanced down at the Doctor's feet.
"Oi! Do you mind?" he exclaimed, resenting the implication in her glance.
She smirked as they set off across the pale yellow landscape. "So why is the moon suddenly made of cheese, instead of rocks?"
"No idea," he answered.
Martha quirked an eyebrow at him, surprised that he seemed unfazed; she, on the other hand, was slightly weirded out. "It doesn’t bother you?" she asked.
"Nope." He popped the 'p' emphatically.
"Hmm." She looked out across the landscape. "What's that?" She pointed at a large orange object that rested on the cheesy landscape, looking as improbable as everything else.
"Looks like a rather primitive rocket," the Doctor answered. "Home-made too." He sniffed disdainfully.
"Well not everyone's got the technology to create spaceships that are bigger on the inside," Martha said.
"*No one* has that technology now, and anyway the TARDIS wasn't built, she was grown."
She glanced back at the familiar blue box that she called home. "Oh."
Martha followed the Doctor as he strode across to the rocket. He pulled out his glasses and put them on, peering at the rocket, then knocking his knuckles against the outside which rang metallically.
"Hmm. Not bad, but hardly NASA-quality workmanship," he sniffed. Martha rolled her eyes. "Come on." The Doctor walked off, hands in his pockets.
"Where are we going?"
He raised an eyebrow, then pointed at the double line of footprints he was following. "We're going to find out who built a rocket in their garden shed then flew it to the Moon."
The answer, was just as improbable as everything else about this trip. A small man wearing a tie with a shirt and green sleeveless sweater, trousers and carpet slippers. He was accompanied by a dog with the most long-suffering look Martha had ever seen on an animal.
The man was having a picnic: a tartan rug was laid out with mathematical precision, and on top were a thermos flask of tea (she could smell it) and a plate with cheese and crackers. There was a bowl containing lumps of cheese in front of the dog.
"Hello! I'm the Doctor and this is Martha Jones. Did you build a rocket to come to the Moon for a picnic?"
The pair looked up. "Yes I did," answered the man, his Yorkshire accent noticeable. His tone implied that it was a perfectly normal thing to do and Martha couldn't help thinking that, despite his sniffiness earlier, the Doctor had found himself a soul-mate. They began to talk and she glanced down at the dog, who gave her a look that clearly indicated to Martha that he was the brains of the duo. She crouched down beside the dog and held out her hand, and he promptly sat up and shook hands with her.
When she tuned into the conversation again, she discovered the Doctor was discussing the merits of different kinds of cheese with an earnest enthusiasm that surprised her. She looked down at the dog, who beckoned her to follow him and they set off back towards the rocket.
After half an hour of sitting peacefully, eyes closed and back against the rocket, Martha felt the dog touch her leg and she looked up to see the Doctor striding towards her, his new friend in tow.
"Come on then Miss Jones, back to the TARDIS," he called, bouncing away towards the TARDIS. "We're taking my friend Wallace and his dog Gromit to some of the great cheese regions of Europe. I've promised him a grand day out."