☆ well fuck
I'm worried about my siblings. Molly's having boyfriend issues which is normal for a young girl, but the only way I can be there for her is via MSN. Yeah. I feel super great about that. I try my best to talk to her about things but, sometimes I don't think it gets through the right way. And I don't know how the hell to help otherwise. I keep wondering if I should tell mom and ask her to give Molly input, but I don't want her to think I'm betraying her trust in telling me how she's feeling, etc. Blah.
And Taylor just seems utterly depressed. There's no other way to describe it. He's just a huge block of depression walking around the house, depression-ally. There are times that I feel like I just tossed them aside and went along on my merry way to Florida without a second thought to how it might effect them and if it would or wouldn't hurt them. I kick myself a lot for getting so close to Taylor after having loathed him for so long for how he felt about me and all his irritating comments about stuff that was too over his head to understand in the first place. There were times I could have literally just killed him and not have a guilty conscience from doing it. I'm glad those days are over, of course, but it's like I let him come in just for him to be pushed back out when I left. I feel like I literally slapped him in the face or something. I shouldn't subject myself to that guilt for being happy with the man I love but.. Some things mom tells me here and there on the phone about him just twist the dagger, so-to-speak.
It's just.. Hard to not be there.
Jeremy's uncle's party last night was epic. I got to meet Sam Eliot his uncle Tim who looks JUST. LIKE. Sam Eliot. I fucking shit you not. That was the epic-ness of my night. Not only does he look like Sam Eliot but he sounds like him too. He walked in the door and I automatically had an ":O!!" look on my face and was like (mentally) "OH SNAP SAM ELIOT IS HERE." It was win. We got there at eight and left at midnight, got home around one. Ginger and Aaron showed up around ten which was fantastical because I was getting really bored of having basically no one there I knew to talk too. I was never more happy to have Ginger talk my ear off about the baby in my freaking life. She wants me to watch Isaac while she goes to look for a job, and I agreed. Hell. It's better than sitting here bored all fucking day. So hooray for a "job" of sorts. Besides. Isaac is cute, I don't mind chillaxing with him all day.
Aside that, we went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian today. Just got back about an hour ago, actually. It was a really good movie. If you read all the books or saw the first movie and enjoy them then I definitely recommend seeing this one. The young guy they got to play Caspian was amazing. It was like they had found the real Caspian and got him to play himself or something. Totally what I pictured him as and completely just like him. Loved it. :)
And Taylor just seems utterly depressed. There's no other way to describe it. He's just a huge block of depression walking around the house, depression-ally. There are times that I feel like I just tossed them aside and went along on my merry way to Florida without a second thought to how it might effect them and if it would or wouldn't hurt them. I kick myself a lot for getting so close to Taylor after having loathed him for so long for how he felt about me and all his irritating comments about stuff that was too over his head to understand in the first place. There were times I could have literally just killed him and not have a guilty conscience from doing it. I'm glad those days are over, of course, but it's like I let him come in just for him to be pushed back out when I left. I feel like I literally slapped him in the face or something. I shouldn't subject myself to that guilt for being happy with the man I love but.. Some things mom tells me here and there on the phone about him just twist the dagger, so-to-speak.
It's just.. Hard to not be there.
Jeremy's uncle's party last night was epic. I got to meet Sam Eliot his uncle Tim who looks JUST. LIKE. Sam Eliot. I fucking shit you not. That was the epic-ness of my night. Not only does he look like Sam Eliot but he sounds like him too. He walked in the door and I automatically had an ":O!!" look on my face and was like (mentally) "OH SNAP SAM ELIOT IS HERE." It was win. We got there at eight and left at midnight, got home around one. Ginger and Aaron showed up around ten which was fantastical because I was getting really bored of having basically no one there I knew to talk too. I was never more happy to have Ginger talk my ear off about the baby in my freaking life. She wants me to watch Isaac while she goes to look for a job, and I agreed. Hell. It's better than sitting here bored all fucking day. So hooray for a "job" of sorts. Besides. Isaac is cute, I don't mind chillaxing with him all day.
Aside that, we went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian today. Just got back about an hour ago, actually. It was a really good movie. If you read all the books or saw the first movie and enjoy them then I definitely recommend seeing this one. The young guy they got to play Caspian was amazing. It was like they had found the real Caspian and got him to play himself or something. Totally what I pictured him as and completely just like him. Loved it. :)