(no subject)
Anyone still reading this? Man...that was the longest gap in my posts in this journal's existence. Chalk it up to the Year of Change.
After a lot of thought and introspection and three years of playing shows I have decided to leave the band. I had a conversation with Bryan when I was visiting family in Michigan and he asked me what my commitment to the band was--I'd voiced discontent in the past--and I realized that the only honest answer was that I wanted out. I told him that I would like to be out of the band by the end of the year and he said he would try to make it as early as 60 days.
I'm leaving for many reasons, and I'm going to miss the band for many others. What it comes down to is I've given up a lot of things for this band--all my weekends, important birthdays, weddings, and other celebrations--and it used to be worth it. But for awhile I feel like I've been giving up more than I've been getting.
What's next? I have no idea. Well--that's not true. I have plenty of ideas. I've already been searching for freelance design work with some success. I'm going to audition for the local piano bar. I've even given serious thought to driving a rickshaw around town on the weekends. I have some money saved up so I wouldn't be totally sunk if it took me a little while. There's a terrific, exhilarating freedom in not knowing.
I've decided that very soon after my last day with the band I'm going to take a train ride to a city I've never been and hang out there for a day or two by myself. I've always loved trains and the idea of seeing a new place--Washington DC, probably--with new eyes holds a definite appeal.
In family news, Graham's been directing a short film all summer, Samantha's got one year left of undergrad, and Natalie just started working for a company called R. E. Mason and moved into an apartment in my complex! My Mom is still getting back into the single/dating life. My Dad--miraculously, there's no other word for it--has stopped drinking and started going to AA meetings. I never, ever thought I'd see the day. I got to see both him and my Mom last night when they visited during a Charlotte wedding, so that was nice.
I've started to see Ryan again--remember him, the guy with the kid and the craaazy baby momma? It's not really anything serious--we see each other once a week if we're lucky because of our schedules. We're basically enjoying each others company until his ex finds out and makes his life hell and we stop seeing each other. I really care about him and wish our relationship didn't have to end like that, but...it is what it is.
What else awaits me in this, year twenty-six of my life, the Year Of Change? So far everything has turned out for the best, even my Dad's heart attack and brain surgery leading to his sobriety. The only thing I'm sure of for now is that I want to continue living with Chris in my apartment for awhile. That, at least, is a constant for now.
After a lot of thought and introspection and three years of playing shows I have decided to leave the band. I had a conversation with Bryan when I was visiting family in Michigan and he asked me what my commitment to the band was--I'd voiced discontent in the past--and I realized that the only honest answer was that I wanted out. I told him that I would like to be out of the band by the end of the year and he said he would try to make it as early as 60 days.
I'm leaving for many reasons, and I'm going to miss the band for many others. What it comes down to is I've given up a lot of things for this band--all my weekends, important birthdays, weddings, and other celebrations--and it used to be worth it. But for awhile I feel like I've been giving up more than I've been getting.
What's next? I have no idea. Well--that's not true. I have plenty of ideas. I've already been searching for freelance design work with some success. I'm going to audition for the local piano bar. I've even given serious thought to driving a rickshaw around town on the weekends. I have some money saved up so I wouldn't be totally sunk if it took me a little while. There's a terrific, exhilarating freedom in not knowing.
I've decided that very soon after my last day with the band I'm going to take a train ride to a city I've never been and hang out there for a day or two by myself. I've always loved trains and the idea of seeing a new place--Washington DC, probably--with new eyes holds a definite appeal.
In family news, Graham's been directing a short film all summer, Samantha's got one year left of undergrad, and Natalie just started working for a company called R. E. Mason and moved into an apartment in my complex! My Mom is still getting back into the single/dating life. My Dad--miraculously, there's no other word for it--has stopped drinking and started going to AA meetings. I never, ever thought I'd see the day. I got to see both him and my Mom last night when they visited during a Charlotte wedding, so that was nice.
I've started to see Ryan again--remember him, the guy with the kid and the craaazy baby momma? It's not really anything serious--we see each other once a week if we're lucky because of our schedules. We're basically enjoying each others company until his ex finds out and makes his life hell and we stop seeing each other. I really care about him and wish our relationship didn't have to end like that, but...it is what it is.
What else awaits me in this, year twenty-six of my life, the Year Of Change? So far everything has turned out for the best, even my Dad's heart attack and brain surgery leading to his sobriety. The only thing I'm sure of for now is that I want to continue living with Chris in my apartment for awhile. That, at least, is a constant for now.