(no subject)
a few jokes for ya:
-Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents
-A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer. The Bartender leans over and says "Why the long face?"
-A guy goes to a shrink and explains his problem, "Doctor, one day I think I'm a tee-pee, the next day I think I'm a wig-wam. Tee-pee, wig-wam, tee-pee, wig-wam over and over again. It never stops, tee-pee, wig-wam!"
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong, you're too tense!"
-A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says,
"I can clearly see you're nuts."
-One day Bill Clinton is walkin through a park. In the snow he sees "Bill Clinton Sucks" written in urine. So the he calls the secret service and tells them too find out whos urine it is.
The next day the secret service calls. The agent says, "Do want the good news or the bad news first?"
"The good news."
"It was Al Gore's urine."
"And the bad news?"
"It was Hillary's handwriting."
-Q: What did the father buffalo say to his boy when he left in the morning?
A: Bison
-A very big bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a.............beer."
Bartender says, "What's with the large pause?"
-A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walked into a bar, the blind guy grabbed the dogs tail and swung the dog around, and the bartender yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!?!" and the blind guy said "looking around."
-Q. Why did the golfer bring a spare pair of pants when he went to play golf?
A. In case he got a hole in one!
-Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas?
A: He felt his presents
-A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer. The Bartender leans over and says "Why the long face?"
-A guy goes to a shrink and explains his problem, "Doctor, one day I think I'm a tee-pee, the next day I think I'm a wig-wam. Tee-pee, wig-wam, tee-pee, wig-wam over and over again. It never stops, tee-pee, wig-wam!"
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong, you're too tense!"
-A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cellophane underwear. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and says,
"I can clearly see you're nuts."
-One day Bill Clinton is walkin through a park. In the snow he sees "Bill Clinton Sucks" written in urine. So the he calls the secret service and tells them too find out whos urine it is.
The next day the secret service calls. The agent says, "Do want the good news or the bad news first?"
"The good news."
"It was Al Gore's urine."
"And the bad news?"
"It was Hillary's handwriting."
-Q: What did the father buffalo say to his boy when he left in the morning?
A: Bison
-A very big bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a.............beer."
Bartender says, "What's with the large pause?"
-A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walked into a bar, the blind guy grabbed the dogs tail and swung the dog around, and the bartender yelled "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!?!" and the blind guy said "looking around."
-Q. Why did the golfer bring a spare pair of pants when he went to play golf?
A. In case he got a hole in one!