wooooohoooooo
so - i am like really happy - i feel so accomplished. i know i haven't updated in a while, i've been pretty busy. I went to disneyland with rissa, her cousin mel, jim, josh, and a friend of rissa's last monday (04/02/04). it was so much fun, i had a little tiff with the group though the following wednesday after something was said to josh, but i think things have cooled down, i'm goin to like back off though i think and start reading more and doin my own thing. I looks like I have someone to hang out with on saturday (v-day), which i guess i'm happy about. I'm a little worried though because it's j and it's v-day and like i don't want it to turn into a huge thing. i'm also worried about seeing him because it will be like the whole waiting another 6 months or whatever to hang out with him again or whatever, but i dont know, i want to talk to him about it a little bit, i hope things get better when i get my license. I called the dmv today and found out that they just got the form on jan 23, and it takes a month or a little longer to review it so i hopefully should know if i'm approved to drive by the end of this month or begining of next, i'm kind of nervous. What if they don't approve me - but there's no reason for that so i shouldn't freak. I got VERY frustrated earlier, i wanted to copy all my cd's to my laptop so i could then burn some mix's on to cd's, and I just couldn't figure it out at all, i was using musicmatch, but then i looked in windows media player, and i totally figured it out, i felt so smart. i know, lame huh, but i guess whatever boosts my self-esteem. i went out last night with tammy, candie, and kathleen, we bought 32 dollars worth of alcohol, i couldn't fucking believe it. I found out the whole being scared of what's going to happen on my meds is totally in my head - i had the most i've had so far last night. i had (yes this is going to sound weak) an entire barcardi O3 plus about a little less then 1/4 of another one. i was totally fine, unfortunately for my poor mom i got in at like 1:30 or something and i was VERY chatty. but when i got to my room i crashed, i slept like better than i ever have before i think. it was great, except for the gate outside my window slamming every hour or so due to the wind. i still slept good - i had a REALLY hard time waking up though, i woke up at about 1 in the afternoon, but that was after going to sleep at like 4 in the morning and waking up with the gate slamming. so i think i liked how i felt when i was drinking, but i did feel a little depressed towards the end, but nothing too bad, i think it might have been because we went to conrads, and there's just something about that place that depresses me sometimes. It's like the atmosphere or something. Anyways i got SOME stuff done today, though i've noticed that i tend to get more done later in the day. i passed out this evening though at like 5 i think or something like that and woke up around 7:45. i miss my daddy, he left me the sweetest message, well it was for my mom, but he said tell maureen that i love her and really miss her, i want to come home. i started crying, it just made me feel so good hearing that from him. im getting sleepy, i'm thirsty, and i have to pee.