im a mess. but at least just to myself
so i had ignored this place for almost a year. up until that last entry. i wish i could say i dont know what happened but i do. in a nutshell i had a bit of a breakdown. thats pretty obvious. i freaked out about everything as i let my emotions just bottle up for such a long time. i thought i didnt need this anymore. but i prolly do. and i will prolly be here. ill try not to.
tomorrows the day. the 2 year mark. and i dont know why.. ive been counting down the days for some reason. it just all feels like a big hole/gap. its hard to explain. i cried for a while. it was great. it really was. it was a release i mos def needed. ive been locked up in my room ever since though. i really just find absolutely no reason for anyone right now. aside from work.
and well the band.
im sure things are great with them. im not saying perfect because its not. but i see it as a relationship. things can never be 100% perfect. it doesnt matter how great things are it just never works that way. its life. you work at it. were starting the pre-production at my house on tuesday. ill be doing all the recordings so we can plan out everything we want to add for the full-length at the end of next month. this is were ill shine for them i guess. i would say im good at adding and layering everything to make it sound full. as far as sound. its going to be very deathcab/stars/rilo-esk with a hint of minus the bear. im really happy with it. its everything ive always wanted. well see how things turn up soon.
things need to work for me. its my only way out. at least it feels that way.
tomorrows the day. the 2 year mark. and i dont know why.. ive been counting down the days for some reason. it just all feels like a big hole/gap. its hard to explain. i cried for a while. it was great. it really was. it was a release i mos def needed. ive been locked up in my room ever since though. i really just find absolutely no reason for anyone right now. aside from work.
and well the band.
im sure things are great with them. im not saying perfect because its not. but i see it as a relationship. things can never be 100% perfect. it doesnt matter how great things are it just never works that way. its life. you work at it. were starting the pre-production at my house on tuesday. ill be doing all the recordings so we can plan out everything we want to add for the full-length at the end of next month. this is were ill shine for them i guess. i would say im good at adding and layering everything to make it sound full. as far as sound. its going to be very deathcab/stars/rilo-esk with a hint of minus the bear. im really happy with it. its everything ive always wanted. well see how things turn up soon.
things need to work for me. its my only way out. at least it feels that way.