Bleach/One Piece- "The Best Present Ever Period"
Can I still use yesterday's heatstroke as my excuse? >>
Title: The Best Present Ever Period
Universe: Bleach, One Piece
Theme/Topic: Kenpachi’s birthday?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Eleventh division, Sanji, Zoro (sort of a KenpachixZoro fight-sexual vibe. And maybe a little SanjixYumichika “if I were drunk enough” crushing, if you want to see it. XD)
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC TO THE MAX? Leave me alone. >>
Word Count: 1,068
Time: LOL too short, I think. Oh well. >>
Summary: Related drabble in the universe of “Thirteen Going on Fourteen”-Yachiru tries to come up with the best present in the world for Kenpachi on his birthday.
Dedication: kotszok- You give me the craziest ideas. I wish I could realize them better. XD;;
A/N: Kenpachi’s birthday fic!! Granted, Kenpachi’s retarded birthday fic. But you know, I can always write something else for him later. >>
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
Sanji never could say no to a pretty face. Any pretty face, really. And it seemed that this was true in death as much as it had been in life.
Perhaps it was especially true for this one face in particular, which was currently looking up at him with big hopeful eyes and the perfectly angelic smile of the wicked little devil that slumbered beneath.
It made him miss Nami-swan just a little bit, and he tried not to think about that too much, moved to give Yachiru another piece of cake instead. A couple of years from now and he was certain she’d turn into a strikingly spectacular young woman.
“Wee, thank you target-brow!” she beamed, and eagerly took the slice of cake before digging right in. “So will ya? Will ya please? It’ll be lotsa fun I promise!” she asked, around a mouthful of chocolate and raspberry.
The fourteenth division vice-captain smiled indulgently at the little girl, ruffled her hair with his hand. “Well, I’ll see what I can do, Yachiru-chan,” he said, and couldn’t help but remember Zoro’s breathless exclamations of, “Fucking shit that bastard is crazy!” at the back of his mind, when the moron would stumble back to headquarters at all hours of the night bleeding from several locations and suddenly inspired to train more despite them.
“It would make Ken-chan soooo happy!” the little eleventh division vice-captain continued to bubble, and Sanji chuckled at himself, already at her mercy. “He really wants cabbage-head to be there for his birthday!”
“Aah, I thought you would be here, fukutaichou,” a slinky voice declared suddenly, and Sanji and Yachiru both turned to see the equally slinky figure said voice belonged to lounging comfortably in the doorway.
Sanji blinked owlishly at the silhouette for a moment-because that was not the silhouette of a man-before reminding himself that as often as Ayasegawa-goseki threw his aesthetic sensibilities off, he was still a he no matter how particularly illustrious his hair was.
“Yumi-pon!” Yachiru exclaimed brightly, by way of greeting. “Want some cake?”
Yumichika smiled. “Fukutaichou, I thought I told you not to bother Sanji-san like this, ne? He’s very busy you know.”
“No bother!” Sanji assured the pretty fifth seat. “Would you like some cake?” he offered, before he could help himself.
Yumichika really did throw him the hell off.
“No thank you,” Yumichika declined, smiling politely even as his eyes smoldered with some sort of unnamed “what-if.”
Sanji swallowed and thought maybe it might have had something to do with the cake.
Then again, it might not have either.
“But spiral-brows said he’d try’n help us with Ken-chan’s birthday present!” Yachiru revealed. “I hadta bother him so I could ask!”
Yumichika chuckled indulgently. “He offered did he?”
“Maybe,” Sanji said. “I didn’t make any promises though.”
Yumichika winked. “Very much appreciated, but I’m sure we’ll find our own way of handling things.”
Sanji lit a cigarette and eyed the pretty fifth-seat for a moment. “Well, I guess you don’t need me then,” he deemed, after a puff or two. “And you especially wouldn’t need me if I told you that the back door to the commissary will be left open tonight and Jyuuyonbantai-taichou-sama’s special dinner tray will be on the left hand counter with his name on it. There will be soup.”
Yumichika sparkled. “Exactly why we wouldn’t need your help, as kind an offer as it is. Thank you, Sanji-san. Well then, fukutaichou, shall we go make preparations?”
“Okay!”
Sanji watched the two leave and sighed to himself wistfully.
It was exactly like he’d said.
He never could say no to a pretty face.
Which was, perhaps, the reason behind how Zoro was fairly certain he’d been eating soup by himself at one instance that evening and at the next, suddenly found himself waking up blearily to the sound of party poppers and the gruff chant of what could only be the manliest of men’s “Happy birthday, taichou!!!” ten sword salute.
“Buh?” Zoro grunted, and blinked himself awake. His vision swam for a little bit, but cleared up rather quickly once someone began to lightly smack at his face to get the blood going again.
“Wonderful to have you with us, Jyuuyonbantai-sama,” Ayasegawa’s sugar-sweet voice greeted. “You’re awake just in time for the festivities!”
Zoro stared. “Festivities?”
Yumi nodded. “It’s taichou’s birthday!”
At that, something in Zoro’s very rarely used self-preservation system coughed and sputtered at him to be cautious. Weakly. He thought it might be some sort of a warning. Maybe. “Huh?” he asked.
“And of course, we could only think of one suitable present for such an important day,” Yumichika continued, and winked at Zoro like that was supposed to mean something in particular to him.
Oh wait.
“Fuck,” Zoro said, and maybe sort of realized what was going on.
“Please have fun! The eleventh division is proud of its reputation for throwing the most…memorable parties,” Yumichika continued, like Zoro hadn’t even spoken at all.
And then the swordsman was being shoved forward, and there were some loud cheers, the sounds of clashing swords and clanking mugs, the feeling of a monster reiatsu trying to shove its way past his skin and devour his flesh.
“Fuck,” Zoro grunted, and shook his head a little because whatever date-rape pill they’d slipped him earlier was kind of making sounds a little bit louder than they ought to be, making that monster reiatsu trying to eat his flesh a little more prickly than normal.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAICHOU!” the crowd roared again.
“This is the present me’n Yumi and Ikkaku got you!” Yachiru said then, when Zoro was pushed out on the open floor towards Zaraki. “So you and cabbage-head can fight! All night long if ya want!”
Zoro blinked. “Fuck.”
Zaraki-from his seat of honor-grinned. “Best present ever,” was all he said before he stood and drew his sword.
“And curly-brows made the cake!!” Yachiru felt the need to add.
Zoro managed-just barely-- to block the first series of blows aimed at his head and told himself that the moment he got back-even if he was missing all his goddamned arms and legs-he was going to find a way to strangle that idiotic, can’t-say-no-to-a-pretty-face love-cook.
Kenpachi in the meantime, had the time of his life.
All in all, it was a very special birthday.
For both of them.
Sort of.
END
EDITS PLZ.
Title: The Best Present Ever Period
Universe: Bleach, One Piece
Theme/Topic: Kenpachi’s birthday?
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Eleventh division, Sanji, Zoro (sort of a KenpachixZoro fight-sexual vibe. And maybe a little SanjixYumichika “if I were drunk enough” crushing, if you want to see it. XD)
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC TO THE MAX? Leave me alone. >>
Word Count: 1,068
Time: LOL too short, I think. Oh well. >>
Summary: Related drabble in the universe of “Thirteen Going on Fourteen”-Yachiru tries to come up with the best present in the world for Kenpachi on his birthday.
Dedication: kotszok- You give me the craziest ideas. I wish I could realize them better. XD;;
A/N: Kenpachi’s birthday fic!! Granted, Kenpachi’s retarded birthday fic. But you know, I can always write something else for him later. >>
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
Sanji never could say no to a pretty face. Any pretty face, really. And it seemed that this was true in death as much as it had been in life.
Perhaps it was especially true for this one face in particular, which was currently looking up at him with big hopeful eyes and the perfectly angelic smile of the wicked little devil that slumbered beneath.
It made him miss Nami-swan just a little bit, and he tried not to think about that too much, moved to give Yachiru another piece of cake instead. A couple of years from now and he was certain she’d turn into a strikingly spectacular young woman.
“Wee, thank you target-brow!” she beamed, and eagerly took the slice of cake before digging right in. “So will ya? Will ya please? It’ll be lotsa fun I promise!” she asked, around a mouthful of chocolate and raspberry.
The fourteenth division vice-captain smiled indulgently at the little girl, ruffled her hair with his hand. “Well, I’ll see what I can do, Yachiru-chan,” he said, and couldn’t help but remember Zoro’s breathless exclamations of, “Fucking shit that bastard is crazy!” at the back of his mind, when the moron would stumble back to headquarters at all hours of the night bleeding from several locations and suddenly inspired to train more despite them.
“It would make Ken-chan soooo happy!” the little eleventh division vice-captain continued to bubble, and Sanji chuckled at himself, already at her mercy. “He really wants cabbage-head to be there for his birthday!”
“Aah, I thought you would be here, fukutaichou,” a slinky voice declared suddenly, and Sanji and Yachiru both turned to see the equally slinky figure said voice belonged to lounging comfortably in the doorway.
Sanji blinked owlishly at the silhouette for a moment-because that was not the silhouette of a man-before reminding himself that as often as Ayasegawa-goseki threw his aesthetic sensibilities off, he was still a he no matter how particularly illustrious his hair was.
“Yumi-pon!” Yachiru exclaimed brightly, by way of greeting. “Want some cake?”
Yumichika smiled. “Fukutaichou, I thought I told you not to bother Sanji-san like this, ne? He’s very busy you know.”
“No bother!” Sanji assured the pretty fifth seat. “Would you like some cake?” he offered, before he could help himself.
Yumichika really did throw him the hell off.
“No thank you,” Yumichika declined, smiling politely even as his eyes smoldered with some sort of unnamed “what-if.”
Sanji swallowed and thought maybe it might have had something to do with the cake.
Then again, it might not have either.
“But spiral-brows said he’d try’n help us with Ken-chan’s birthday present!” Yachiru revealed. “I hadta bother him so I could ask!”
Yumichika chuckled indulgently. “He offered did he?”
“Maybe,” Sanji said. “I didn’t make any promises though.”
Yumichika winked. “Very much appreciated, but I’m sure we’ll find our own way of handling things.”
Sanji lit a cigarette and eyed the pretty fifth-seat for a moment. “Well, I guess you don’t need me then,” he deemed, after a puff or two. “And you especially wouldn’t need me if I told you that the back door to the commissary will be left open tonight and Jyuuyonbantai-taichou-sama’s special dinner tray will be on the left hand counter with his name on it. There will be soup.”
Yumichika sparkled. “Exactly why we wouldn’t need your help, as kind an offer as it is. Thank you, Sanji-san. Well then, fukutaichou, shall we go make preparations?”
“Okay!”
Sanji watched the two leave and sighed to himself wistfully.
It was exactly like he’d said.
He never could say no to a pretty face.
Which was, perhaps, the reason behind how Zoro was fairly certain he’d been eating soup by himself at one instance that evening and at the next, suddenly found himself waking up blearily to the sound of party poppers and the gruff chant of what could only be the manliest of men’s “Happy birthday, taichou!!!” ten sword salute.
“Buh?” Zoro grunted, and blinked himself awake. His vision swam for a little bit, but cleared up rather quickly once someone began to lightly smack at his face to get the blood going again.
“Wonderful to have you with us, Jyuuyonbantai-sama,” Ayasegawa’s sugar-sweet voice greeted. “You’re awake just in time for the festivities!”
Zoro stared. “Festivities?”
Yumi nodded. “It’s taichou’s birthday!”
At that, something in Zoro’s very rarely used self-preservation system coughed and sputtered at him to be cautious. Weakly. He thought it might be some sort of a warning. Maybe. “Huh?” he asked.
“And of course, we could only think of one suitable present for such an important day,” Yumichika continued, and winked at Zoro like that was supposed to mean something in particular to him.
Oh wait.
“Fuck,” Zoro said, and maybe sort of realized what was going on.
“Please have fun! The eleventh division is proud of its reputation for throwing the most…memorable parties,” Yumichika continued, like Zoro hadn’t even spoken at all.
And then the swordsman was being shoved forward, and there were some loud cheers, the sounds of clashing swords and clanking mugs, the feeling of a monster reiatsu trying to shove its way past his skin and devour his flesh.
“Fuck,” Zoro grunted, and shook his head a little because whatever date-rape pill they’d slipped him earlier was kind of making sounds a little bit louder than they ought to be, making that monster reiatsu trying to eat his flesh a little more prickly than normal.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAICHOU!” the crowd roared again.
“This is the present me’n Yumi and Ikkaku got you!” Yachiru said then, when Zoro was pushed out on the open floor towards Zaraki. “So you and cabbage-head can fight! All night long if ya want!”
Zoro blinked. “Fuck.”
Zaraki-from his seat of honor-grinned. “Best present ever,” was all he said before he stood and drew his sword.
“And curly-brows made the cake!!” Yachiru felt the need to add.
Zoro managed-just barely-- to block the first series of blows aimed at his head and told himself that the moment he got back-even if he was missing all his goddamned arms and legs-he was going to find a way to strangle that idiotic, can’t-say-no-to-a-pretty-face love-cook.
Kenpachi in the meantime, had the time of his life.
All in all, it was a very special birthday.
For both of them.
Sort of.
END
EDITS PLZ.