Bleach Drabble (476)
Ah, it feels so good to write for fun again. Even if everything I write is kind of dumb. XD ♥
476.
Title: Idle Threats
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Ichigo, Rukia (lightly IchixRuki?), Hinamori
Word Count: 795
Warning/s: Spoilers for the SS arc by proxy.
Summary: Related drabble to #60 (Captain Complex)- What's so great about Rukia anyway?
Dedication: tokki_chan, who wanted IchixRuki in this setting for her prize drabble. I’m out of practice, and this is an old idea, but hopefully it’s not too lame. XD
A/N: CRACK. But you know, what else is new?
“Argh,” Ichigo said, but was careful to say it under his breath. “Argh.”
Rukia looked unsympathetically at him. “It’s your own fault.”
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” he shot back automatically, before realizing his mistake and ducking down again, presumably out of sight from any doors or windows in Rukia’s division headquarters. “It’s not my fault,” he reiterated, this time in a shouted whisper.
She smirked, rather liking him in this vulnerable position. “How cruel of you, gobantai-taichou,” she murmured in her sugar voice, acting absolutely appalled at his deplorable behavior. “Avoiding your sweet little vice-captain like you are when all she wants to do is get to know her new taichou-sama better.”
He stared at her. “That’s great. That’s very funny. You’re so freaking hysterical, Rukia, I swear to god I’m so intensely amused right now it’s in infrared and that’s why you can’t see how amused I am on my face.”
She stared back at him. “Your sarcasm fails when I don’t understand your bitterly irrelevant human terminology.”
“Dammit.”
A beat.
“Shouldn’t you show me respect or something? I mean. I outrank you and stuff.”
She laughed at him.
He scowled. “I’m allowed to write you up for insubordination, right?” Pause. Grin. “Hah, betcha captain nii-san-hair-curlers-too-tight would love to see another black mark on your not so pristine record.”
She stopped laughing. “You wouldn’t.”
He grinned. “I learned how to do the official paperwork yesterday.”
Her eyes narrowed, dangerously. “The only new black mark nii-sama would see is the one I get when I kill you. And call me crazy, but he’d let that one slide on account of not liking you very much.”
He looked smug, crossed his arms. “Oh I don’t…”
“Taichou?! Kurosaki-taichou?! Where are you?! Are you here?”
Ichigo stopped mid-sentence at that sweet-voiced (scary) little reminder of why he was in the thirteenth division headquarters in the first place. His smugness quickly dissipated, to be replaced with an expression of horror as they were both reminded of why he was even here at all.
It was Rukia’s turn to grin.
“No!” he implored, and did the closest thing to begging he’d ever done in his whole life. “C’mon, I was joking, a joke!” he urged in a pained whisper.
Her smile only got more and more evil-he supposed he should have expected it.
She took a deep breath then, all ready to give him away like he so richly deserved.
“Ooh, I know he’s here! He always runs off to see Kuchiki-san,” Momo’s voice continued, talking to herself as she paced dangerously close to the window Ichigo was crouched (cowering ever so slightly) under.
Huff. “What’s so great about her anyway?”
Rukia paused in the middle of her deep, revealing breath. “What?”
Despite the dire nature of the situation, Ichigo had to slap both hands over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud at Momo’s question. When that didn’t work he tugged up the collar of his captain’s jacket and buried his face into it.
Hinamori’s head poked into the little office a moment or two later. “Kuchiki-san! There you are,” she said, and looked relieved. “Is Kurosaki-taichou around here?”
Rukia looked at the other girl-cocked her head to the side. “What do you see in him anyway?”
From under the windowsill, Ichigo looked mildly offended that that was even an issue here.
Momo blinked. “Kurosaki-taichou?”
Rukia nodded.
Momo beamed. “He’s great! He’s strong and kind and funny and handsome and…”
“Not here right now,” Rukia told her, quickly. She tried not to puke all over herself.
“Oh,” the little vice-captain sighed, and looked disappointed. “Maybe he’s out visiting Zaraki-taichou again.”
Rukia blinked. “Er… yeah. Maybe that.”
“Well, good-bye then, Kuchiki-san! Thank you for your help!”
“No problem.”
Hinamori’s head disappeared then, and both inhabitants of the room waited a good two count before daring to speak again.
Ichigo looked a bit baffled. “Why did you…”
Rukia hugged herself and shivered a bit. “Strong and kind and funny and handsome?”
“Er…”
“There is something very, very wrong with that girl,” Rukia concluded, and made a face.
“Yeah there’s… the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing,” the petite shinigami sniffed. “Now go get me some lunch.”
Ichigo stared. “What?”
“Or should I call Hinamori-fukutaichou back and…”
“FINE.”
He’d show her.
She eyed him as he stood and prepared to head towards the thirteenth division mess hall. Like she was reading his mind. “No beans.”
“Dammit.”
Rukia grinned and watched him trudge out the door, making a little mental amendment to her last statement.
Strong and kind and handsome she wasn’t sold on.
But maybe Hinamori was a little bit right about Ichigo being funny.
Because right now, Rukia thought his shoulder slump of defeat was absolutely hilarious.
END
EDITS PLZ.
476.
Title: Idle Threats
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/Character/s: Ichigo, Rukia (lightly IchixRuki?), Hinamori
Word Count: 795
Warning/s: Spoilers for the SS arc by proxy.
Summary: Related drabble to #60 (Captain Complex)- What's so great about Rukia anyway?
Dedication: tokki_chan, who wanted IchixRuki in this setting for her prize drabble. I’m out of practice, and this is an old idea, but hopefully it’s not too lame. XD
A/N: CRACK. But you know, what else is new?
“Argh,” Ichigo said, but was careful to say it under his breath. “Argh.”
Rukia looked unsympathetically at him. “It’s your own fault.”
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT!” he shot back automatically, before realizing his mistake and ducking down again, presumably out of sight from any doors or windows in Rukia’s division headquarters. “It’s not my fault,” he reiterated, this time in a shouted whisper.
She smirked, rather liking him in this vulnerable position. “How cruel of you, gobantai-taichou,” she murmured in her sugar voice, acting absolutely appalled at his deplorable behavior. “Avoiding your sweet little vice-captain like you are when all she wants to do is get to know her new taichou-sama better.”
He stared at her. “That’s great. That’s very funny. You’re so freaking hysterical, Rukia, I swear to god I’m so intensely amused right now it’s in infrared and that’s why you can’t see how amused I am on my face.”
She stared back at him. “Your sarcasm fails when I don’t understand your bitterly irrelevant human terminology.”
“Dammit.”
A beat.
“Shouldn’t you show me respect or something? I mean. I outrank you and stuff.”
She laughed at him.
He scowled. “I’m allowed to write you up for insubordination, right?” Pause. Grin. “Hah, betcha captain nii-san-hair-curlers-too-tight would love to see another black mark on your not so pristine record.”
She stopped laughing. “You wouldn’t.”
He grinned. “I learned how to do the official paperwork yesterday.”
Her eyes narrowed, dangerously. “The only new black mark nii-sama would see is the one I get when I kill you. And call me crazy, but he’d let that one slide on account of not liking you very much.”
He looked smug, crossed his arms. “Oh I don’t…”
“Taichou?! Kurosaki-taichou?! Where are you?! Are you here?”
Ichigo stopped mid-sentence at that sweet-voiced (scary) little reminder of why he was in the thirteenth division headquarters in the first place. His smugness quickly dissipated, to be replaced with an expression of horror as they were both reminded of why he was even here at all.
It was Rukia’s turn to grin.
“No!” he implored, and did the closest thing to begging he’d ever done in his whole life. “C’mon, I was joking, a joke!” he urged in a pained whisper.
Her smile only got more and more evil-he supposed he should have expected it.
She took a deep breath then, all ready to give him away like he so richly deserved.
“Ooh, I know he’s here! He always runs off to see Kuchiki-san,” Momo’s voice continued, talking to herself as she paced dangerously close to the window Ichigo was crouched (cowering ever so slightly) under.
Huff. “What’s so great about her anyway?”
Rukia paused in the middle of her deep, revealing breath. “What?”
Despite the dire nature of the situation, Ichigo had to slap both hands over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud at Momo’s question. When that didn’t work he tugged up the collar of his captain’s jacket and buried his face into it.
Hinamori’s head poked into the little office a moment or two later. “Kuchiki-san! There you are,” she said, and looked relieved. “Is Kurosaki-taichou around here?”
Rukia looked at the other girl-cocked her head to the side. “What do you see in him anyway?”
From under the windowsill, Ichigo looked mildly offended that that was even an issue here.
Momo blinked. “Kurosaki-taichou?”
Rukia nodded.
Momo beamed. “He’s great! He’s strong and kind and funny and handsome and…”
“Not here right now,” Rukia told her, quickly. She tried not to puke all over herself.
“Oh,” the little vice-captain sighed, and looked disappointed. “Maybe he’s out visiting Zaraki-taichou again.”
Rukia blinked. “Er… yeah. Maybe that.”
“Well, good-bye then, Kuchiki-san! Thank you for your help!”
“No problem.”
Hinamori’s head disappeared then, and both inhabitants of the room waited a good two count before daring to speak again.
Ichigo looked a bit baffled. “Why did you…”
Rukia hugged herself and shivered a bit. “Strong and kind and funny and handsome?”
“Er…”
“There is something very, very wrong with that girl,” Rukia concluded, and made a face.
“Yeah there’s… the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing,” the petite shinigami sniffed. “Now go get me some lunch.”
Ichigo stared. “What?”
“Or should I call Hinamori-fukutaichou back and…”
“FINE.”
He’d show her.
She eyed him as he stood and prepared to head towards the thirteenth division mess hall. Like she was reading his mind. “No beans.”
“Dammit.”
Rukia grinned and watched him trudge out the door, making a little mental amendment to her last statement.
Strong and kind and handsome she wasn’t sold on.
But maybe Hinamori was a little bit right about Ichigo being funny.
Because right now, Rukia thought his shoulder slump of defeat was absolutely hilarious.
END
EDITS PLZ.