Ouran- "Puppies"
ORIGINAL TITLE I KNOW. Haha anyway, this is from a request WAY BACK WHEN that I never got around to because Ouran has become oddly uninspiring to me lately. But I'm trying anyway, and once I'm done, I'll probably be done. XD We'll see.
14.
Title: Puppies
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: Tamaki, Haruhi, Nekozawa, Antoinette, Kyouya, Twins, Honey, Benibara
Word Count: 999
Warning/s: Stupidity, OOC, randomness. No spoilers I can imagine, but then again, Ouran isn’t really about anything.
Summary: Antoinette raises a family.
Dedication: chrno__crusader-this took long enough eh?
A/N: Prompt was “dogs”. Um…yeah.
“She multiplied!” Tamaki decried, and sounded rather confused. “How did she multiply all by herself?”
He was fairly certain that she did not qualify as a single-celled organism.
“Scandalous!” the twins erupted, and looked at the three newborn pups gathered hungrily around a cheerful looking Antoinette.
“Tono can’t even protect his own dog’s chastity!” Kaoru delighted.
“A single mother… woes to the harsh road ahead of her!” Hikaru agreed, and they held hands and smirked.
“Tono must have been negligent!” they finished together for the final blow, dramatically.
Tamaki crumbled, tears streaming down his face. “I was very vigilant! I’m sure…I’m sure the rapscallion that left her in such a state snuck in while I was at school!” the blond declared, confidently. “I very clearly can’t leave her home alone when I come here then!”
Antoinette barked and thumped her tail in contentment. Her puppies yipped and crawled all around her.
“They’re cute,” Haruhi admitted, and patted the dog’s head.
Tamaki beamed. “They’re cute!” he said, in the twins’ direction like it was some sort of validation.
Six weeks later they were still cute… but not quite as cute.
“Tama-chan, doo-doo!” Honey declared, and pointed to a steaming mess on the floor.
Tamaki looked weary. “Yes,” he acknowledged, and picked up his little plastic bag and little plastic shovel.
Kyouya adjusted his glasses at the announcement of more doo-doo. “Perhaps it’s time to find surrogate homes for your wards, Tamaki.”
“Butbutbut Antoinette can’t be separated from her children!! They’re only babies!” Tamaki cried, and scooped up doo-doo. “We aren’t the kind of people who take children away from their mothers, are we, Kyouya? Are we?”
Kyouya tilted his head and smiled in a way that meant he was imagining all the fun ways he could choke the life out of Tamaki. “Perhaps it’s time to find surrogate homes for your wards, Tamaki,” he repeated, like he hadn’t heard Tamaki respond to the first statement at all.
“Tama-chan, more doo-doo!” Honey supplied helpfully, and drew back the draperies to reveal what he’d found.
Tamaki sighed. “Maybe it’s time,” he agreed, and walked over to the windows with his little bag and little shovel.
The first one was given away to Renge.
“Oh, a Host Club Mascot!” she’d declared, and picked the one who had peed on one of Tamaki’s more adamant fangirls’ legs. “Perfect!”
The second was forced-ironically-- upon Nekozawa-senpai when, upon a surprise visit, he’d gotten his dark cloak and wig tugged off by the playful puppy, earning himself a cult following amongst the Host Club guests as a “dark and troubled but lovely young man.”
The third was cleverly (unintentionally) hoisted on Benibara and co. when they’d come to pay their monthly visits to the third music room in order to induce Haruhi to join Lobelia and saw instead, a club with one remaining raucous girl-pup frolicking about as Tamaki ran around trying to catch her.
They’d been horrified of course-men couldn’t care of creatures created by Mother Nature due to their surly and unlikable personalities. Especially girl creatures.
Haruhi had suggested, “Maybe Benibara-san can take better care of it,” very sensibly. Very insensibly, Benibara and co. took it as a challenge and reasoned that if they did take better care of it, Haruhi would see the error of Ouran’s ways and come running (with beautiful maidenly tears) into their open arms.
And so, before too long… Antoinette’s first brood was given away to (hopefully) loving, homes.
“I hope you learned your lesson,” Kyouya told Tamaki sometime afterwards, and the blond nodded sagely because he understood perfectly now what had gone wrong.
A week later, he brought Antoinette back to the club, this time with a companion in tow.
“This is Rutherford!” he announced. “A former scandalous rogue who has since seen the error of his ways and committed to my sweet Antoinette for the rest of his life!”
Everyone stared.
A Newfoundland with almost as much enthusiasm as Antoinette barked at them.
Haruhi blinked. “This is…”
“The father of Antoinette’s children!” Tamaki declared. “By proof of DNA testing. They’re to be married this weekend.”
Everyone stared.
“You’re all invited, of course!” Tamaki assured them lest they be offended. “I’ve already booked the caterers and the band-we’re to have it in the school gardens. Won’t that be lovely?”
Kyouya sighed, patiently. “Tamaki… you do realize…”
“PUPPIES,” the twins said, with much less patience than Kyouya. It might have been due to the fact that they’d found many a steaming pile too close to their persons for comfort over the past few weeks.
“Of course!” Tamaki acknowledged. “Now that they’re to be properly wed children won’t be a problem, since they’ll be the products of true love! Ah, Rutherford, how happy I am that you’ve decided to turn a new leaf, you little Casanova, you.”
Kyouya took a breath and adjusted his glasses. “Movement to ban animals-- not stuffed,” he added on Honey’s horrified look, “from the third music room during all Host Club activity.”
“Seconded,” the twins responded quickly, raising their hands.
“Then to a floor vote,” Kyouya continued, systematically. “All in favor?”
“Aye,” everyone but Tamaki said, just as quickly.
“Movement passed. Tamaki, take your dogs home.”
Tamaki mibbled. “B-b-b-ut Kyouya!!!”
Kyouya shrugged at him, helplessly. “It’s already been voted upon. Even I don’t have the power to change any sort of democratic system on just a whim. Well, outside of the United States Senate race of course.”
Tamaki hung his head at Kyouya’s placating tone. “Democracy is very important.”
“Yes,” Kyouya agreed, and smiled behind his glasses. “You don’t want to be some kind of Communist, do you?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Well, good then.”
Tamaki sighed and obediently took Antoinette and Rutherford home.
Haruhi graciously refrained from mentioning that they’d established the Host Club as a non-democratic institution on her very first visit.
History was written by the conquerors, after all.
And truth be told, she was rather sick of doo-doo herself.
END
Written kind of rushed, so lots of edits needed I'd imagine.
14.
Title: Puppies
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: Tamaki, Haruhi, Nekozawa, Antoinette, Kyouya, Twins, Honey, Benibara
Word Count: 999
Warning/s: Stupidity, OOC, randomness. No spoilers I can imagine, but then again, Ouran isn’t really about anything.
Summary: Antoinette raises a family.
Dedication: chrno__crusader-this took long enough eh?
A/N: Prompt was “dogs”. Um…yeah.
“She multiplied!” Tamaki decried, and sounded rather confused. “How did she multiply all by herself?”
He was fairly certain that she did not qualify as a single-celled organism.
“Scandalous!” the twins erupted, and looked at the three newborn pups gathered hungrily around a cheerful looking Antoinette.
“Tono can’t even protect his own dog’s chastity!” Kaoru delighted.
“A single mother… woes to the harsh road ahead of her!” Hikaru agreed, and they held hands and smirked.
“Tono must have been negligent!” they finished together for the final blow, dramatically.
Tamaki crumbled, tears streaming down his face. “I was very vigilant! I’m sure…I’m sure the rapscallion that left her in such a state snuck in while I was at school!” the blond declared, confidently. “I very clearly can’t leave her home alone when I come here then!”
Antoinette barked and thumped her tail in contentment. Her puppies yipped and crawled all around her.
“They’re cute,” Haruhi admitted, and patted the dog’s head.
Tamaki beamed. “They’re cute!” he said, in the twins’ direction like it was some sort of validation.
Six weeks later they were still cute… but not quite as cute.
“Tama-chan, doo-doo!” Honey declared, and pointed to a steaming mess on the floor.
Tamaki looked weary. “Yes,” he acknowledged, and picked up his little plastic bag and little plastic shovel.
Kyouya adjusted his glasses at the announcement of more doo-doo. “Perhaps it’s time to find surrogate homes for your wards, Tamaki.”
“Butbutbut Antoinette can’t be separated from her children!! They’re only babies!” Tamaki cried, and scooped up doo-doo. “We aren’t the kind of people who take children away from their mothers, are we, Kyouya? Are we?”
Kyouya tilted his head and smiled in a way that meant he was imagining all the fun ways he could choke the life out of Tamaki. “Perhaps it’s time to find surrogate homes for your wards, Tamaki,” he repeated, like he hadn’t heard Tamaki respond to the first statement at all.
“Tama-chan, more doo-doo!” Honey supplied helpfully, and drew back the draperies to reveal what he’d found.
Tamaki sighed. “Maybe it’s time,” he agreed, and walked over to the windows with his little bag and little shovel.
The first one was given away to Renge.
“Oh, a Host Club Mascot!” she’d declared, and picked the one who had peed on one of Tamaki’s more adamant fangirls’ legs. “Perfect!”
The second was forced-ironically-- upon Nekozawa-senpai when, upon a surprise visit, he’d gotten his dark cloak and wig tugged off by the playful puppy, earning himself a cult following amongst the Host Club guests as a “dark and troubled but lovely young man.”
The third was cleverly (unintentionally) hoisted on Benibara and co. when they’d come to pay their monthly visits to the third music room in order to induce Haruhi to join Lobelia and saw instead, a club with one remaining raucous girl-pup frolicking about as Tamaki ran around trying to catch her.
They’d been horrified of course-men couldn’t care of creatures created by Mother Nature due to their surly and unlikable personalities. Especially girl creatures.
Haruhi had suggested, “Maybe Benibara-san can take better care of it,” very sensibly. Very insensibly, Benibara and co. took it as a challenge and reasoned that if they did take better care of it, Haruhi would see the error of Ouran’s ways and come running (with beautiful maidenly tears) into their open arms.
And so, before too long… Antoinette’s first brood was given away to (hopefully) loving, homes.
“I hope you learned your lesson,” Kyouya told Tamaki sometime afterwards, and the blond nodded sagely because he understood perfectly now what had gone wrong.
A week later, he brought Antoinette back to the club, this time with a companion in tow.
“This is Rutherford!” he announced. “A former scandalous rogue who has since seen the error of his ways and committed to my sweet Antoinette for the rest of his life!”
Everyone stared.
A Newfoundland with almost as much enthusiasm as Antoinette barked at them.
Haruhi blinked. “This is…”
“The father of Antoinette’s children!” Tamaki declared. “By proof of DNA testing. They’re to be married this weekend.”
Everyone stared.
“You’re all invited, of course!” Tamaki assured them lest they be offended. “I’ve already booked the caterers and the band-we’re to have it in the school gardens. Won’t that be lovely?”
Kyouya sighed, patiently. “Tamaki… you do realize…”
“PUPPIES,” the twins said, with much less patience than Kyouya. It might have been due to the fact that they’d found many a steaming pile too close to their persons for comfort over the past few weeks.
“Of course!” Tamaki acknowledged. “Now that they’re to be properly wed children won’t be a problem, since they’ll be the products of true love! Ah, Rutherford, how happy I am that you’ve decided to turn a new leaf, you little Casanova, you.”
Kyouya took a breath and adjusted his glasses. “Movement to ban animals-- not stuffed,” he added on Honey’s horrified look, “from the third music room during all Host Club activity.”
“Seconded,” the twins responded quickly, raising their hands.
“Then to a floor vote,” Kyouya continued, systematically. “All in favor?”
“Aye,” everyone but Tamaki said, just as quickly.
“Movement passed. Tamaki, take your dogs home.”
Tamaki mibbled. “B-b-b-ut Kyouya!!!”
Kyouya shrugged at him, helplessly. “It’s already been voted upon. Even I don’t have the power to change any sort of democratic system on just a whim. Well, outside of the United States Senate race of course.”
Tamaki hung his head at Kyouya’s placating tone. “Democracy is very important.”
“Yes,” Kyouya agreed, and smiled behind his glasses. “You don’t want to be some kind of Communist, do you?”
“No! Of course not!”
“Well, good then.”
Tamaki sighed and obediently took Antoinette and Rutherford home.
Haruhi graciously refrained from mentioning that they’d established the Host Club as a non-democratic institution on her very first visit.
History was written by the conquerors, after all.
And truth be told, she was rather sick of doo-doo herself.
END
Written kind of rushed, so lots of edits needed I'd imagine.