5 Things Results
This was...a lot more difficult/time consuming than I first thought it would be. *is shot* Sorry for the long wait! Maybe I thought it would go by quickly because the first few I did on my other journal went by relatively fast. I suppose I'm just not good at these in large numbers. XD Especially considering how non-succinct I can be. *rolls* Though you all did a rather good job of stumping me with some really hard ones! This was just supposed to be an exercise to get the creative juices flowing and it ended up consuming the last four hours of my life instead. LOL o.o Though all in all I think it was worth it-- I heard from a lot of you I hadn't heard from before (though a lot I have too XD), and so I hope you previous lurkers won't be shy in the future since this (at least I thought it was) ended up being relatively painless. Though I might be jumping the gun because you haven't seen the results yet. Apologies to the ones that really really suck-- I hope you take comfort from the knowledge that you kicked my ass on your request. ^^;; Edits totally needed too, I feel absolutely dyslexic right now. *dies*
Antique Bakery
Top Five Reasons why Tachibana Definitely Shouldn't go to the Gay Pride Parade with Ono- requested by jensa_chan
1. He’s not gay. He’s not uncomfortable with gay either, mind. And you know, he supports equal rights and stuff, because equal rights are good and… he has to stay at the shop. He definitely has to stay at the shop. Incase there are customers. Yeah. But he can totally support those proud gay men from a good few miles off. It doesn’t diminish his sentiments or anything, after all.
2. He doesn’t own anything spandex.
3. The last time he went he got some cute girl’s number, only to realize two seconds before sodomy that she was really a he with a great tuck job and amazing calves.
4. Chikage needs him (or can be convinced that he needs him and make for a great alibi).
5. It might be a little bit disturbing to see exactly how well Ono can pull off that purple leopard print boa with that short-cropped leather vest. Not because Tachibana’s gay and might be turned on or anything, mind (since you know, he’s-totally-- comfortable with himself), but because Ono’s good looking enough that that ridiculous combination might actually work.
Five Ways Ono Says 'I Love You’- for foggynite
1. Not trying to sleep with you. Tachibana suspects it’s Ono’s weird ass way of telling someone “I don’t want to hurt you.”
2. Overcoming his own fears to help you overcome yours-those women never knew what hit them (or how much they were making Ono tremble underneath his “bitch please” face).
3. Send you to France-just because you were great at one thing and it had to end doesn’t mean that you can’t be even better at something else. Especially when someone really believes in you.
4. Let old grudges go. You changed each other’s lives that one day and now you continue to change each other’s lives every day. As long as you have that the past doesn’t matter.
5. Come home from the bar alone. It was the talk of the town that night, but he had to get up especially early the next day-for the catered wedding of 200 yes, but even more than that, for the screaming boss who needed a 7-tier cake with the face of each wedding guest painted on it somewhere, the bright kid who needed his instruction (and a couple of touch-up frosting lessons), and the nice man in the glasses who just required a smile or two and a steady hand on his arm every now and again, to keep him from toppling the champagne flutes as he served them.
Bleach
Five things Zaraki Kenpachi will Never Tell Anyone About his Past- for sophiap
1. Before the spiked look there was a braid. Before the braid, a bowl. And of the three, the spikes are unquestionably the most normal looking.
2. He never did learn to read all that well growing up. Read words anyway-- he can read you like a book though. Can figure out what side you’re gonna attack from-- how fast you’re going to get from point A to point B and what trajectory arc your weapon is going to take towards him, how much force will be required to deflect or evade or counter. The neighborhood of his childhood was a tough one.
3. He can’t remember exactly, who Yachiru’s namesake was to him, but sometimes, when he’s deep asleep and dreams, he can hear the cooing of a babe and the gentle lullaby her mother hums her to sleep with. He’ll never be able to tell which of the two really is Yachiru (if at all) but he gets the feeling it doesn’t really matter, because in the long run, they were both-whoever they were-- equally important to him anyway.
4. The only reason he didn’t kill Ikkaku after their fight was because he had indigestion. The speech was just to get the bald fuck to shut up and leave him the hell alone.
5. He still remembers exactly where he was in Rukongai-district ninety seven between a takoyaki stand and a disreputable looking brothel-- the moment Yachiru wrapped her little fist around his index finger for the first time.
Five Things Yumichika Would never Tell Anyone- requested by akuni
1. He’d do Kenpachi. Something appealing about having all that under your control, maybe.
2. He’d do Ikkaku. Blindfolded and very drunk mind, but if it ever comes to that, Ikkaku ought to know to take whatever he can get by now anyway.
3. He actually wouldn’t do Renji. Because as lovely as the redhead is, Yumichika sleeping with someone who has longer hair than him is too straight a thing to do in good conscience.
4. He’d do Iba. He hates it when other people are so obviously repressed.
5. Of all the above, he only actually, genuinely loves two of the four. And as far as he’s concerned, neither of them will ever, ever know.
Five Things Kira Learned from Being Vice-captain to Ichimaru- requested by doubtful
1. Good little boys get what they deserve. What they deserve however, is not ever up to them.
2. Blood actually washes off easier than ink. Both can be used to write with.
3. Pain is pleasure taken over the edge of reason. Scars are reminders that you’ve felt both. Longing is a reminder that you can’t differentiate between either.
4. There will always be leaders and there will always be followers, as long as there is life in the universe. So follow where I lead and live as best as you can for as long as the world shall have you.
5. Know how to keep a secret. No one likes a squealer, after all.
Five Things Gin Learned From Kira-- for arrakas
1. They really do make them that gullible. Somehow.
2. Red blood on pale skin is really much more beautiful than he ever would have imagined.
3. Big blue eyes might just be his personal little kink.
4. Even the strongest voice can be made to whisper, whimper, murmur, cower. It’s just a matter of repetition.
5. The student becomes the teacher. He remembers Aizen’s hands on his thighs years ago, the taste of his own blood on Aizen’s lips. And now, as he touches Kira and laps warm red liquid from the cut on the quivering blond’s throat, Ichimaru thinks that he’s never been more grateful for the lessons he was given in days long ago. He hopes that Kira learns to appreciate them as well one day.
Five things Which Frighten Hanatarou Very, Very Much- for flo_nelja
1. That last shudder of life a patient gives before they die-that last flash of desperate reiatsu. He’s felt it so many times already, but it never gets easier. He hopes he’ll never fail a friend.
2. Shiba Kuukaku. This one he can’t explain, exactly. Ganjyu assures him it’s just his natural self-preservation instincts kicking into gear, just like they do for everyone else who has ever met his big sister.
3. Zaraki Kenpachi- though it was probably unwitting on the eleventh division captain’s part, Hanatarou almost got stepped on once. No one in seireitei has ever made him feel smaller.
4. Iemura-san’s diary. The snippets he’s heard “accidentally” dictated from the third seat lead him to suspect that a big part of why the eleventh division hates the fourth is contained solely within those pages.
5. Japanese high school girls. He’s never made so many seeming mistakes in his life as he has trying to serve them during the Convenience store rush hour. Sometimes they make fun of his hair.
Five Ways that Ukitake Knew Kyouraku "Liked" him- for kouriarashi
1. He told him. Multiple times. Every day. For two centuries.
2. When Kyouraku talked to Ukitake, it was always about women. When he talked to women, it was always about Ukitake.
3. The hand that once in a while snuck into the slits of his hakama was a sign. Kind of. Maybe.
4. One day, Ukitake noticed that on Kyouraku’s list of “things I like” he beat out boobs and almost, almost tied with “booze” for the number one spot. It was quite an honor, really.
5. The bloodstains here and there on Kyouraku’s fancy kimono-the ones he laughs off as being unable to get out because they’re as stubborn as Ukitake is. Ukitake always apologizes, but there’s nothing quite as comforting as being held by someone he loves when he’s at his sickest.
Five Things Ikkaku Would Love to tell Kira but Never got the Chance to- requested by keephion
1. “I bet I could beat up Ichimaru.”-he kept quiet about this one because he wanted to be sure first. The moment he gets the opportunity though…
2. “I never slept with Yumichika.”-Kira never asked.
3. “I think your scars are pretty.”-Kira didn’t seem to like them.
4. “You’re an idiot!”-Yumichika informed him that during the times when he thought this, 99% of those times it was Ikkaku who was actually the idiot.
5. “I like you.”-“I love you” came out first.
Five Things Renji Can't Remember Whether or Not he's Done while Drunk- requested by fight4foo
1. Grab Yumichika’s ass-lesser men have done it drunk (or sober, really) under the assumption that “Damn, she’s hot.” The reason he suspects he might have done it (but can’t be sure), is because one morning he woke up with both an angry black eye and a suspicious jump in his step. According to Shuuhei, those are the symptoms.
2. TP Byakuya’s house-the memory is there, but Kuchiki-taichou doesn’t say anything about it either way. The guys ask him if he’s certain he got the right house. He says he’s pretty damn certain. In the meantime-suspiciously-- Kyouraku-taichou gets the heat for allegedly vandalizing Yamamoto-soutaichou’s quarters.
3. Lost his entire paycheck in a drunken poker game with the guys-while they all woke up hung-over and missing money, not one of them seemed to have won.
4. Braid Zabimaru’s back hair-it was a damned hysterical sight to wake up to, but now his sword isn’t speaking to him anymore. He’s dying to know the story of what happened. And maybe do bankai again sometime soon. But mostly he wants to know the story.
5. Ask Rukia or Byakuya to marry him. He’s not sure which or even if he did-every time he moves to ask about it Rukia bursts out laughing and can’t speak straight while Byakuya just…doesn’t speak. All he knows is he and his friends sent out the “Abarai and Kuchiki engagement” announcement (perhaps preemptively) to the local news publication and all hell has broken loose since. Though it might explain why his entire paycheck had gone missing that one night…
(The following one was from the first time I did this meme)
Five Similarities between the Third and Sixth Divisions- requested by skadhelias
1. The two vice-captains of the third and sixth divisions have to reluctantly admit to themselves that their captains both only seem to have five facial expressions or so apiece.
2. Both captains taught their vice captains that there was something important they had to fight for as shinigami in the gotei-13. The only difference was that Kuchiki-taichou told Renji to fight to uphold the law ("fight for what is right, Renji") and Ichimaru-taichou taught Kira to fight for what would keep him alive ("fight for me, Kira").
3. Byakuya and Gin don't consider themselves very intimidating people. However Rukia is-- in one way or another-- scared of them both. While this secretly pains Byakuya, Gin finds that the whole thing is rather very amusing.
4. In the end, the things that Renji and Kira's captains taught them either made or broke each of them. Renji fought for what was right, and Kira fought for Gin. Renji is the only one with no regrets.
5. At one point in their lives, both Kira and Renji loved a girl who already loved somebody else more. Both of them harbor regrets.
Eyeshield 21
Five Things that Horrified Hiruma Youichi- requested by amylee300
1. Nothing-believe him or he shoots.
2. See above.
3. Why are you even still looking?
4. You really wanna die?
5. Okay. Maybe-maybe-Kurita’s gas is a little bit terrifying, but don’t let him know that you know that.
Five Things Jyumonji Never did to Warn off the Others that Damnit Sena is his Not Interested- requested by blurpanda
1. Kill anyone- but you’d be surprised what you can live through.
2. Explicitly say anything. He’s always been a man of action after all, and nothing says “fuck off” like a good punch in the face.
3. Make any girls cry-it seemed that gay guys were in fashion or something nowadays, because every one of them he spoke to on the matter understood. And giggled.
4. Beat up Taki because he couldn’t beat up the idiot’s sister. Oh wait…
5. Tell Kuroki and Toganou-amazingly enough, the two of them figured it out on their own. And kept passing him lewd notes in class that speculated on the distinct advantages the size difference between Kazuki and Sena afforded. Jyuumonji didn’t know whether to be fascinated by their creativity or offended for the sake of Sena’s chastity. He did keep all the notes though.
Kyou Kara Maou
Five things that Happened at Conrad and Yuuri's Wedding- requested by skadhelias
1. Yuuri stayed away from any bathrooms or any large bodies of water. By the end of the day peeing was probably the best present he could have wanted to receive.
2. Yozak gave Conrad a stripper. When told he should have done it before the wedding he simply shrugged and said he’d tried but “taichou fell asleep before I even got my skirt off.”
3. Cheri kissed the “bride”-with lots of tongue. Conrad admits to being a little bit squicked by that.
4. Gwendal broke a world record for shortest best man speeches ever when he grunted, raised his glass, and said “Congrats,” before excusing himself to go fish Gunter out of the alcoholic punch before he started monologuing in his grief at losing heika.
5. Yuuri tripped and ripped his dress. Conrad finished ripping it in the honeymoon quarters. No one particularly mourned the loss of the heirloom, but Conrad promised to have it repaired later anyway.
(And from the first time around)
Five Things Conrad and Yuuri Would Never Do on a Date- for pyrefly
1. Go near any large bodies of water. Having all your carefully made plans (and eagerly awaiting expectations) cut painfully short due to an untimely whirlpool can be, well... frustrating.
2. Eat curry-- at this point they're both surprised it isn't already coming out of their ears.
3. Be bored. They once spent an entire evening sitting in companionable silence with each other and neither of them can say it wasn't time well spent. Conrad especially remembers that Yuuri's smile had said everything that needed to be said between them that night anyway.
4. Kiss-- when they go out it's with the knowledge that no matter where, they might be seen by someone else. This isn't a rule because they're embarrassed or ashamed, but rather, because as far as the two of them are concerned, their kisses aren't something for the rest of the world to see. They're meant only for one another and the privacy of each other's smiles.
5. Talk about the past. Bit by bit, little by little, Conrad is slowly learning that he can look to the future instead. There's a fine line between remembering and dwelling after all, and Yuuri's smile never lets him think of sad things for very long anyway.
Love Mode
Five things about Naoya that Reiji would never tell anyone, including Naoya- requested by ainthen
1. Sometimes he hates how weak Naoya makes him feel- growing up it was his business not to be helpless because Kiichi was, and trying to reverse such a firmly ingrained belief is difficult, to the point that sometimes, sometimes he’s a little bit short with his lover. Reiji hates that the ghost of his father still remains in his life even today.
2. Naoya and Kiichi would be a lovely image together-they’re both beautiful, after all. Luckily for him, only one of the two involved in that image knows what he knows and encourages such a liaison. Unfortunately it’s the one who’s also an insufferable pain in the ass.
3. He’s not generally a vengeful person, but after Naoya was kidnapped a rage unlike any other he’s ever felt-for a time-completely engulfed him. He’ll never tell his lover that he has the profiles of the men who’d taken him on file-every detail of their lives from where they grew up, what their rank was in school, and most important of all-the names and locations of all living family members. Wives, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews. Every single one. Holding those files in his hands and knowing that just one phone call was all he needed was admittedly a dark moment for Reiji, but looking back, at that instant of decision, he knows that he would have done it if it had come to that. He hopes Naoya never discovers that side of him.
4. Reiji’s favorite part of Naoya is his nose. It’s so cute that it pisses him off a little bit sometimes-a tough guy like him really shouldn’t be into such adorable things, especially in his line of work. But even still… cute. Argh. God help him if Kiichi were ever to find out.
5. A vendor at a store once referred to Naoya as Reiji’s “son” and prompted a bout of silence between the two of them that lasted a good three hours. Since Naoya turned eighteen, Reiji’s relief at the fact that sleeping with his lover was no longer illegal was small comfort considering he’d also chanced upon his first gray hair right around that time too. Kiichi thought the whole thing was hilarious.
Five Things Kiichi Learned from His Father- requested by emeraldus
1. Every human being has a price. It’s not always money.
2. Beautiful things can grow from ugly places.
3. The name of Kiichi’s most precious person in the world.
4. Family can be built as easily as it can be destroyed.
5. How to forgive.
Ouran
Tamaki's Five “Secrets” to Getting Kyouya to do What Tamaki Wants- requested by yukitsu
1. Sly suggestions-- When Tamaki finds those brochures advertising Bali or the Cayman Islands or Trinidad and Tobago on his desk he instantly begins scheming ways to quietly slip the fact that he’d like to go and/or emulate such places into the conversation. For example: “Kyouya, oh Kyouya, did you know this chocolate is made from genuine cocoa imported from Trinidad? Wouldn’t you like to go and see it in its natural habitat? I knew you would! I know you so well after all!” or “I heard that scuba diving in the Cayman Islands is the very fashionable thing to do this season… mmm, but how would we go about doing that? Hmmmmmmmmmm…” Kyouya almost always falls for it.
2. Lots of love-Kyouya is the kind of person who likes getting praise because he works a lot. So sometimes, in lieu of the sly suggestions, Tamaki just showers Kyouya in compliments until Kyouya’s brow twitches in that way Tamaki knows means that Kyouya is secretly pleased. Usually after six or seven twitches Kyouya openly accepts the praise he so richly deserves and gives in to Tamaki’s requests.
3. Sulks-it’s one of his better kept secrets because he only whips this one out on special emergency situations (like that time he wanted to dress up as 17th century classical composers or on his last birthday when Kyouya offered to get him “anything but that” and he’d wanted “that” so badly all he could do was puppy eye until Kyouya gave it to him). Other than those obviously dire circumstances, he doesn’t sulk at all (it doesn’t look good, though it is, admittedly, very dramatic). So when he pulls it out it usually does the trick, because it’s so rare for anyone to see him resort to that type of thing, and it’s all really quite devious of him if he does say so himself (and for the record, what Haruhi has to say on the matter doesn’t count here).
4. If all else fails, he simply does what he wants regardless-Kyouya usually comes to the rescue in the end anyway.
5. As a last, last resort-the silent treatment. Because as much as Kyouya says he wants silence, Tamaki being quiet deeply, deeply unnerves him. For the three seconds it lasts. Then the crying and the screaming and the pouting and the general flailing suggest that in the interest of peace, he give Tamaki what he thinks he wants in a way that appears to be how he’d like it. Close enough.
Five Things that Happened After Kyouya and Tamaki Announced Their Engagement to Each Other- requested by the_dw
1. The CPR revival of Kyouya’s father.
2. Haruhi’s lengthy investigation as to whether or not Kyouya took out a hefty life insurance policy on Tamaki before signing the prenup.
3. Heavy congressional lobbying by the parents of many distraught young ladies of high society as to making the possibility of same sex marriage permanently illegal in not only this country, but throughout the world as well.
4. Mori’s self-admittance to the nearest hospital-he had the strange urge to get his ears checked.
5. Honey ate cake.
Five Ways to use a Kotatsu- requested by flyjone
1. Clearly commoners must use it as an alternative source of cooking heat, when their lamp oil runs out or when their hotplates burn a fuse. You can even eat right off of it when you’re done warming your commoners’ rice porridge-isn’t that convenient?
2. Use it to save space-commoners’ homes are so small the table and the heating units have to be the same thing.
3. Traditional décor-rich families who have them can’t be scolded by poor people (who are just jealous) for giving into Western ideals and shunning their culture. Having one is a good throwback strategy and the gossip columns love it for its retro pastiche style.
4. It’s good for punishment games too-sitting under one with Haruhi and watching loser-Tamaki grow mushrooms cold and alone in the corner is warmth for the heart right alongside warmth for the body.
5. Finally, it’s also a great place to hide things under. Say, things you used to cheat during your last punishment game so that ultimately, you could sit under the kotatsu with your brother and a cute girl and entertain yourself watching an idiot sulk obliviously by himself on the other side of the room.
One Piece
Five Reasons why Sanji Will Take it up the Ass from Zoro and Like it- for kotszok
1. Because Zoro says so. And he’s a manly man’s man. Yeah. (Stop laughing, aho chef.)
2. Because if you hate it it’s rape, and Zoro doesn’t do that. So you better not hate it. (…stop laughing, goddammit!)
3. Because no woman in her right mind would sleep with a twinkie like Sanji anyway. (Ow! The fuck? I didn’t say it!)
4. Because semeing means using your hands, and since Sanji only uses them to cook he ought to just bend over and let Zoro do the work. Like hell Zoro’s letting Sanji fuck him dry. (Ow goddammit!! I’M NOT THE ONE TALKING BASTARD!)
5. Because it suits Nami’s sense of uke/seme aesthetics. (Oh so NOW you stop kicking? Fucking Mellorine.)
Yu Yu Hakusho
Five Reasons Kurama Hasn't Cut His Hair- for aishuu
1. When he moves it’s long enough for him to see- a perpetual reminder of what he is now in the form of how he used to be. Neither completely one or the other, but a harmony of joined differences meant to last at least as long as the breath of one single lifetime. Humans bleed red and when they die, spirits of ephemeral silver rise to take their places. Blending, adaptation, evolution, continuity.
2. He likes to think of himself as the type of person who cultivates things-encourages growth. Cutting only occurs when there’s… a problem.
3. He knows that his mother had always wanted a daughter-there’s not much he can do on that account, but sometimes she giggles and gossips with him and he lets her braid his hair. It’s by no means amends for his thoughtless invasion of her womb and the subsequent biological changes his presence invoked from there, but she seems to have fun when they do those sorts of things together and he likes to see her smile.
4. Pragmatically, in this form his hair can be used as an extension of himself, an extra limb with which to battle, an extra vantage point from which to strike. Aesthetically, he supposes-in rare moments of the purest humanity-that he rather likes the way it looks grown out like it is.
5. Hiei once snidely declared that he’d been able to see Kurama a mile away with his bright, long hair standing out the way it had. At the time it had meant to serve as a sort of warning-the most Hiei’s pride would afford another person out loud. Today, with friends so widely spread apart, Kurama thinks that if it makes him that much easier for them to see from afar-however far-- he’ll take the advantage.
Antique Bakery
Top Five Reasons why Tachibana Definitely Shouldn't go to the Gay Pride Parade with Ono- requested by jensa_chan
1. He’s not gay. He’s not uncomfortable with gay either, mind. And you know, he supports equal rights and stuff, because equal rights are good and… he has to stay at the shop. He definitely has to stay at the shop. Incase there are customers. Yeah. But he can totally support those proud gay men from a good few miles off. It doesn’t diminish his sentiments or anything, after all.
2. He doesn’t own anything spandex.
3. The last time he went he got some cute girl’s number, only to realize two seconds before sodomy that she was really a he with a great tuck job and amazing calves.
4. Chikage needs him (or can be convinced that he needs him and make for a great alibi).
5. It might be a little bit disturbing to see exactly how well Ono can pull off that purple leopard print boa with that short-cropped leather vest. Not because Tachibana’s gay and might be turned on or anything, mind (since you know, he’s-totally-- comfortable with himself), but because Ono’s good looking enough that that ridiculous combination might actually work.
Five Ways Ono Says 'I Love You’- for foggynite
1. Not trying to sleep with you. Tachibana suspects it’s Ono’s weird ass way of telling someone “I don’t want to hurt you.”
2. Overcoming his own fears to help you overcome yours-those women never knew what hit them (or how much they were making Ono tremble underneath his “bitch please” face).
3. Send you to France-just because you were great at one thing and it had to end doesn’t mean that you can’t be even better at something else. Especially when someone really believes in you.
4. Let old grudges go. You changed each other’s lives that one day and now you continue to change each other’s lives every day. As long as you have that the past doesn’t matter.
5. Come home from the bar alone. It was the talk of the town that night, but he had to get up especially early the next day-for the catered wedding of 200 yes, but even more than that, for the screaming boss who needed a 7-tier cake with the face of each wedding guest painted on it somewhere, the bright kid who needed his instruction (and a couple of touch-up frosting lessons), and the nice man in the glasses who just required a smile or two and a steady hand on his arm every now and again, to keep him from toppling the champagne flutes as he served them.
Bleach
Five things Zaraki Kenpachi will Never Tell Anyone About his Past- for sophiap
1. Before the spiked look there was a braid. Before the braid, a bowl. And of the three, the spikes are unquestionably the most normal looking.
2. He never did learn to read all that well growing up. Read words anyway-- he can read you like a book though. Can figure out what side you’re gonna attack from-- how fast you’re going to get from point A to point B and what trajectory arc your weapon is going to take towards him, how much force will be required to deflect or evade or counter. The neighborhood of his childhood was a tough one.
3. He can’t remember exactly, who Yachiru’s namesake was to him, but sometimes, when he’s deep asleep and dreams, he can hear the cooing of a babe and the gentle lullaby her mother hums her to sleep with. He’ll never be able to tell which of the two really is Yachiru (if at all) but he gets the feeling it doesn’t really matter, because in the long run, they were both-whoever they were-- equally important to him anyway.
4. The only reason he didn’t kill Ikkaku after their fight was because he had indigestion. The speech was just to get the bald fuck to shut up and leave him the hell alone.
5. He still remembers exactly where he was in Rukongai-district ninety seven between a takoyaki stand and a disreputable looking brothel-- the moment Yachiru wrapped her little fist around his index finger for the first time.
Five Things Yumichika Would never Tell Anyone- requested by akuni
1. He’d do Kenpachi. Something appealing about having all that under your control, maybe.
2. He’d do Ikkaku. Blindfolded and very drunk mind, but if it ever comes to that, Ikkaku ought to know to take whatever he can get by now anyway.
3. He actually wouldn’t do Renji. Because as lovely as the redhead is, Yumichika sleeping with someone who has longer hair than him is too straight a thing to do in good conscience.
4. He’d do Iba. He hates it when other people are so obviously repressed.
5. Of all the above, he only actually, genuinely loves two of the four. And as far as he’s concerned, neither of them will ever, ever know.
Five Things Kira Learned from Being Vice-captain to Ichimaru- requested by doubtful
1. Good little boys get what they deserve. What they deserve however, is not ever up to them.
2. Blood actually washes off easier than ink. Both can be used to write with.
3. Pain is pleasure taken over the edge of reason. Scars are reminders that you’ve felt both. Longing is a reminder that you can’t differentiate between either.
4. There will always be leaders and there will always be followers, as long as there is life in the universe. So follow where I lead and live as best as you can for as long as the world shall have you.
5. Know how to keep a secret. No one likes a squealer, after all.
Five Things Gin Learned From Kira-- for arrakas
1. They really do make them that gullible. Somehow.
2. Red blood on pale skin is really much more beautiful than he ever would have imagined.
3. Big blue eyes might just be his personal little kink.
4. Even the strongest voice can be made to whisper, whimper, murmur, cower. It’s just a matter of repetition.
5. The student becomes the teacher. He remembers Aizen’s hands on his thighs years ago, the taste of his own blood on Aizen’s lips. And now, as he touches Kira and laps warm red liquid from the cut on the quivering blond’s throat, Ichimaru thinks that he’s never been more grateful for the lessons he was given in days long ago. He hopes that Kira learns to appreciate them as well one day.
Five things Which Frighten Hanatarou Very, Very Much- for flo_nelja
1. That last shudder of life a patient gives before they die-that last flash of desperate reiatsu. He’s felt it so many times already, but it never gets easier. He hopes he’ll never fail a friend.
2. Shiba Kuukaku. This one he can’t explain, exactly. Ganjyu assures him it’s just his natural self-preservation instincts kicking into gear, just like they do for everyone else who has ever met his big sister.
3. Zaraki Kenpachi- though it was probably unwitting on the eleventh division captain’s part, Hanatarou almost got stepped on once. No one in seireitei has ever made him feel smaller.
4. Iemura-san’s diary. The snippets he’s heard “accidentally” dictated from the third seat lead him to suspect that a big part of why the eleventh division hates the fourth is contained solely within those pages.
5. Japanese high school girls. He’s never made so many seeming mistakes in his life as he has trying to serve them during the Convenience store rush hour. Sometimes they make fun of his hair.
Five Ways that Ukitake Knew Kyouraku "Liked" him- for kouriarashi
1. He told him. Multiple times. Every day. For two centuries.
2. When Kyouraku talked to Ukitake, it was always about women. When he talked to women, it was always about Ukitake.
3. The hand that once in a while snuck into the slits of his hakama was a sign. Kind of. Maybe.
4. One day, Ukitake noticed that on Kyouraku’s list of “things I like” he beat out boobs and almost, almost tied with “booze” for the number one spot. It was quite an honor, really.
5. The bloodstains here and there on Kyouraku’s fancy kimono-the ones he laughs off as being unable to get out because they’re as stubborn as Ukitake is. Ukitake always apologizes, but there’s nothing quite as comforting as being held by someone he loves when he’s at his sickest.
Five Things Ikkaku Would Love to tell Kira but Never got the Chance to- requested by keephion
1. “I bet I could beat up Ichimaru.”-he kept quiet about this one because he wanted to be sure first. The moment he gets the opportunity though…
2. “I never slept with Yumichika.”-Kira never asked.
3. “I think your scars are pretty.”-Kira didn’t seem to like them.
4. “You’re an idiot!”-Yumichika informed him that during the times when he thought this, 99% of those times it was Ikkaku who was actually the idiot.
5. “I like you.”-“I love you” came out first.
Five Things Renji Can't Remember Whether or Not he's Done while Drunk- requested by fight4foo
1. Grab Yumichika’s ass-lesser men have done it drunk (or sober, really) under the assumption that “Damn, she’s hot.” The reason he suspects he might have done it (but can’t be sure), is because one morning he woke up with both an angry black eye and a suspicious jump in his step. According to Shuuhei, those are the symptoms.
2. TP Byakuya’s house-the memory is there, but Kuchiki-taichou doesn’t say anything about it either way. The guys ask him if he’s certain he got the right house. He says he’s pretty damn certain. In the meantime-suspiciously-- Kyouraku-taichou gets the heat for allegedly vandalizing Yamamoto-soutaichou’s quarters.
3. Lost his entire paycheck in a drunken poker game with the guys-while they all woke up hung-over and missing money, not one of them seemed to have won.
4. Braid Zabimaru’s back hair-it was a damned hysterical sight to wake up to, but now his sword isn’t speaking to him anymore. He’s dying to know the story of what happened. And maybe do bankai again sometime soon. But mostly he wants to know the story.
5. Ask Rukia or Byakuya to marry him. He’s not sure which or even if he did-every time he moves to ask about it Rukia bursts out laughing and can’t speak straight while Byakuya just…doesn’t speak. All he knows is he and his friends sent out the “Abarai and Kuchiki engagement” announcement (perhaps preemptively) to the local news publication and all hell has broken loose since. Though it might explain why his entire paycheck had gone missing that one night…
(The following one was from the first time I did this meme)
Five Similarities between the Third and Sixth Divisions- requested by skadhelias
1. The two vice-captains of the third and sixth divisions have to reluctantly admit to themselves that their captains both only seem to have five facial expressions or so apiece.
2. Both captains taught their vice captains that there was something important they had to fight for as shinigami in the gotei-13. The only difference was that Kuchiki-taichou told Renji to fight to uphold the law ("fight for what is right, Renji") and Ichimaru-taichou taught Kira to fight for what would keep him alive ("fight for me, Kira").
3. Byakuya and Gin don't consider themselves very intimidating people. However Rukia is-- in one way or another-- scared of them both. While this secretly pains Byakuya, Gin finds that the whole thing is rather very amusing.
4. In the end, the things that Renji and Kira's captains taught them either made or broke each of them. Renji fought for what was right, and Kira fought for Gin. Renji is the only one with no regrets.
5. At one point in their lives, both Kira and Renji loved a girl who already loved somebody else more. Both of them harbor regrets.
Eyeshield 21
Five Things that Horrified Hiruma Youichi- requested by amylee300
1. Nothing-believe him or he shoots.
2. See above.
3. Why are you even still looking?
4. You really wanna die?
5. Okay. Maybe-maybe-Kurita’s gas is a little bit terrifying, but don’t let him know that you know that.
Five Things Jyumonji Never did to Warn off the Others that Damnit Sena is his Not Interested- requested by blurpanda
1. Kill anyone- but you’d be surprised what you can live through.
2. Explicitly say anything. He’s always been a man of action after all, and nothing says “fuck off” like a good punch in the face.
3. Make any girls cry-it seemed that gay guys were in fashion or something nowadays, because every one of them he spoke to on the matter understood. And giggled.
4. Beat up Taki because he couldn’t beat up the idiot’s sister. Oh wait…
5. Tell Kuroki and Toganou-amazingly enough, the two of them figured it out on their own. And kept passing him lewd notes in class that speculated on the distinct advantages the size difference between Kazuki and Sena afforded. Jyuumonji didn’t know whether to be fascinated by their creativity or offended for the sake of Sena’s chastity. He did keep all the notes though.
Kyou Kara Maou
Five things that Happened at Conrad and Yuuri's Wedding- requested by skadhelias
1. Yuuri stayed away from any bathrooms or any large bodies of water. By the end of the day peeing was probably the best present he could have wanted to receive.
2. Yozak gave Conrad a stripper. When told he should have done it before the wedding he simply shrugged and said he’d tried but “taichou fell asleep before I even got my skirt off.”
3. Cheri kissed the “bride”-with lots of tongue. Conrad admits to being a little bit squicked by that.
4. Gwendal broke a world record for shortest best man speeches ever when he grunted, raised his glass, and said “Congrats,” before excusing himself to go fish Gunter out of the alcoholic punch before he started monologuing in his grief at losing heika.
5. Yuuri tripped and ripped his dress. Conrad finished ripping it in the honeymoon quarters. No one particularly mourned the loss of the heirloom, but Conrad promised to have it repaired later anyway.
(And from the first time around)
Five Things Conrad and Yuuri Would Never Do on a Date- for pyrefly
1. Go near any large bodies of water. Having all your carefully made plans (and eagerly awaiting expectations) cut painfully short due to an untimely whirlpool can be, well... frustrating.
2. Eat curry-- at this point they're both surprised it isn't already coming out of their ears.
3. Be bored. They once spent an entire evening sitting in companionable silence with each other and neither of them can say it wasn't time well spent. Conrad especially remembers that Yuuri's smile had said everything that needed to be said between them that night anyway.
4. Kiss-- when they go out it's with the knowledge that no matter where, they might be seen by someone else. This isn't a rule because they're embarrassed or ashamed, but rather, because as far as the two of them are concerned, their kisses aren't something for the rest of the world to see. They're meant only for one another and the privacy of each other's smiles.
5. Talk about the past. Bit by bit, little by little, Conrad is slowly learning that he can look to the future instead. There's a fine line between remembering and dwelling after all, and Yuuri's smile never lets him think of sad things for very long anyway.
Love Mode
Five things about Naoya that Reiji would never tell anyone, including Naoya- requested by ainthen
1. Sometimes he hates how weak Naoya makes him feel- growing up it was his business not to be helpless because Kiichi was, and trying to reverse such a firmly ingrained belief is difficult, to the point that sometimes, sometimes he’s a little bit short with his lover. Reiji hates that the ghost of his father still remains in his life even today.
2. Naoya and Kiichi would be a lovely image together-they’re both beautiful, after all. Luckily for him, only one of the two involved in that image knows what he knows and encourages such a liaison. Unfortunately it’s the one who’s also an insufferable pain in the ass.
3. He’s not generally a vengeful person, but after Naoya was kidnapped a rage unlike any other he’s ever felt-for a time-completely engulfed him. He’ll never tell his lover that he has the profiles of the men who’d taken him on file-every detail of their lives from where they grew up, what their rank was in school, and most important of all-the names and locations of all living family members. Wives, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews. Every single one. Holding those files in his hands and knowing that just one phone call was all he needed was admittedly a dark moment for Reiji, but looking back, at that instant of decision, he knows that he would have done it if it had come to that. He hopes Naoya never discovers that side of him.
4. Reiji’s favorite part of Naoya is his nose. It’s so cute that it pisses him off a little bit sometimes-a tough guy like him really shouldn’t be into such adorable things, especially in his line of work. But even still… cute. Argh. God help him if Kiichi were ever to find out.
5. A vendor at a store once referred to Naoya as Reiji’s “son” and prompted a bout of silence between the two of them that lasted a good three hours. Since Naoya turned eighteen, Reiji’s relief at the fact that sleeping with his lover was no longer illegal was small comfort considering he’d also chanced upon his first gray hair right around that time too. Kiichi thought the whole thing was hilarious.
Five Things Kiichi Learned from His Father- requested by emeraldus
1. Every human being has a price. It’s not always money.
2. Beautiful things can grow from ugly places.
3. The name of Kiichi’s most precious person in the world.
4. Family can be built as easily as it can be destroyed.
5. How to forgive.
Ouran
Tamaki's Five “Secrets” to Getting Kyouya to do What Tamaki Wants- requested by yukitsu
1. Sly suggestions-- When Tamaki finds those brochures advertising Bali or the Cayman Islands or Trinidad and Tobago on his desk he instantly begins scheming ways to quietly slip the fact that he’d like to go and/or emulate such places into the conversation. For example: “Kyouya, oh Kyouya, did you know this chocolate is made from genuine cocoa imported from Trinidad? Wouldn’t you like to go and see it in its natural habitat? I knew you would! I know you so well after all!” or “I heard that scuba diving in the Cayman Islands is the very fashionable thing to do this season… mmm, but how would we go about doing that? Hmmmmmmmmmm…” Kyouya almost always falls for it.
2. Lots of love-Kyouya is the kind of person who likes getting praise because he works a lot. So sometimes, in lieu of the sly suggestions, Tamaki just showers Kyouya in compliments until Kyouya’s brow twitches in that way Tamaki knows means that Kyouya is secretly pleased. Usually after six or seven twitches Kyouya openly accepts the praise he so richly deserves and gives in to Tamaki’s requests.
3. Sulks-it’s one of his better kept secrets because he only whips this one out on special emergency situations (like that time he wanted to dress up as 17th century classical composers or on his last birthday when Kyouya offered to get him “anything but that” and he’d wanted “that” so badly all he could do was puppy eye until Kyouya gave it to him). Other than those obviously dire circumstances, he doesn’t sulk at all (it doesn’t look good, though it is, admittedly, very dramatic). So when he pulls it out it usually does the trick, because it’s so rare for anyone to see him resort to that type of thing, and it’s all really quite devious of him if he does say so himself (and for the record, what Haruhi has to say on the matter doesn’t count here).
4. If all else fails, he simply does what he wants regardless-Kyouya usually comes to the rescue in the end anyway.
5. As a last, last resort-the silent treatment. Because as much as Kyouya says he wants silence, Tamaki being quiet deeply, deeply unnerves him. For the three seconds it lasts. Then the crying and the screaming and the pouting and the general flailing suggest that in the interest of peace, he give Tamaki what he thinks he wants in a way that appears to be how he’d like it. Close enough.
Five Things that Happened After Kyouya and Tamaki Announced Their Engagement to Each Other- requested by the_dw
1. The CPR revival of Kyouya’s father.
2. Haruhi’s lengthy investigation as to whether or not Kyouya took out a hefty life insurance policy on Tamaki before signing the prenup.
3. Heavy congressional lobbying by the parents of many distraught young ladies of high society as to making the possibility of same sex marriage permanently illegal in not only this country, but throughout the world as well.
4. Mori’s self-admittance to the nearest hospital-he had the strange urge to get his ears checked.
5. Honey ate cake.
Five Ways to use a Kotatsu- requested by flyjone
1. Clearly commoners must use it as an alternative source of cooking heat, when their lamp oil runs out or when their hotplates burn a fuse. You can even eat right off of it when you’re done warming your commoners’ rice porridge-isn’t that convenient?
2. Use it to save space-commoners’ homes are so small the table and the heating units have to be the same thing.
3. Traditional décor-rich families who have them can’t be scolded by poor people (who are just jealous) for giving into Western ideals and shunning their culture. Having one is a good throwback strategy and the gossip columns love it for its retro pastiche style.
4. It’s good for punishment games too-sitting under one with Haruhi and watching loser-Tamaki grow mushrooms cold and alone in the corner is warmth for the heart right alongside warmth for the body.
5. Finally, it’s also a great place to hide things under. Say, things you used to cheat during your last punishment game so that ultimately, you could sit under the kotatsu with your brother and a cute girl and entertain yourself watching an idiot sulk obliviously by himself on the other side of the room.
One Piece
Five Reasons why Sanji Will Take it up the Ass from Zoro and Like it- for kotszok
1. Because Zoro says so. And he’s a manly man’s man. Yeah. (Stop laughing, aho chef.)
2. Because if you hate it it’s rape, and Zoro doesn’t do that. So you better not hate it. (…stop laughing, goddammit!)
3. Because no woman in her right mind would sleep with a twinkie like Sanji anyway. (Ow! The fuck? I didn’t say it!)
4. Because semeing means using your hands, and since Sanji only uses them to cook he ought to just bend over and let Zoro do the work. Like hell Zoro’s letting Sanji fuck him dry. (Ow goddammit!! I’M NOT THE ONE TALKING BASTARD!)
5. Because it suits Nami’s sense of uke/seme aesthetics. (Oh so NOW you stop kicking? Fucking Mellorine.)
Yu Yu Hakusho
Five Reasons Kurama Hasn't Cut His Hair- for aishuu
1. When he moves it’s long enough for him to see- a perpetual reminder of what he is now in the form of how he used to be. Neither completely one or the other, but a harmony of joined differences meant to last at least as long as the breath of one single lifetime. Humans bleed red and when they die, spirits of ephemeral silver rise to take their places. Blending, adaptation, evolution, continuity.
2. He likes to think of himself as the type of person who cultivates things-encourages growth. Cutting only occurs when there’s… a problem.
3. He knows that his mother had always wanted a daughter-there’s not much he can do on that account, but sometimes she giggles and gossips with him and he lets her braid his hair. It’s by no means amends for his thoughtless invasion of her womb and the subsequent biological changes his presence invoked from there, but she seems to have fun when they do those sorts of things together and he likes to see her smile.
4. Pragmatically, in this form his hair can be used as an extension of himself, an extra limb with which to battle, an extra vantage point from which to strike. Aesthetically, he supposes-in rare moments of the purest humanity-that he rather likes the way it looks grown out like it is.
5. Hiei once snidely declared that he’d been able to see Kurama a mile away with his bright, long hair standing out the way it had. At the time it had meant to serve as a sort of warning-the most Hiei’s pride would afford another person out loud. Today, with friends so widely spread apart, Kurama thinks that if it makes him that much easier for them to see from afar-however far-- he’ll take the advantage.