Bleach Drabble (343)
I TOTALLY SHOULD NOT HAVE WRITTEN THIS.
BUT I DID ANYWAY.
So yeah.
343.
Title: Weaknesses
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Pairing/Character/s: Eleventh Division
Word Count: 690
Warning/s: Strangeness.
Summary: Kenpachi makes an admission.
Dedication: tsukishine for urging me on (because that was totally hard, I know. XD) and idiosyn for catering to my OMGFANGIRLHEART.
A/N: I did this for the last line and nothing else. So um… that’s probably the only part that isn’t too silly. ^^;;
Kenpachi’s not so stupid that he thinks it’s possible to be invincible.
He knows for a fact that that ain’t true. Knows that the closest you can get is “stronger than you” which is all you really need anyway. But everyone’s got an Achilles Heel somewhere in them, or on them, or both.
Hell, Zaraki can even admit to having some weaknesses of his very own every now and again (to himself anyway).
So he hates it when some idiot comes along who thinks he’s indestructible, who thinks he can take on the world (namely Kenpachi) and come out of it without a scratch.
The eleventh division leader usually makes it a priority to kill those idiots first. With the blunt side of his sword (more fun that way).
Morons.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that every man’s got his limits.
And along those lines, Zaraki makes sure his division members know that they ain’t infallible either, does his best to point out what they suck at ‘cause it’s his job as captain (and it’s fun as all hell, really).
Ikkaku’s got a survivor complex. That’s retarded. Feels like if he loses and his opponent don’t kill him, he’s gotta complain about it. Kenpachi just beats the hell out of the asshole randomly sometimes to get him to realize that it ain’t such a bad thing to survive because it gives you a chance to get stronger and pay the mother fucker that messed you up for no good reason back in the future.
Can’t do that if you’re dead, right?
And the bald idiot plants like a tree stump or something when he’s facing off one-on-one, because the moron thinks there’s something appealingly manly about standing your ground when you fight. Never retreat, always push forward or some such shit.
Idiot.
Yumichika doesn’t like to get dirty when he fights. That’s a world of stupid right there that Kenpachi can’t seem to insult out of the pretty boy. Would rather run (show your back to the enemy? Real smart…) than mess his do up on a good hair day.
But he supposes when the idiot loses an eye or something he’ll learn his lesson.
Fact that he hasn’t yet proves something about the pretty boy’s competence, at least.
When Iba was here Zaraki let the giant moron know that he was too sentimental. Idiot didn’t like to kill enemies already incapacitated. Had a nasty scar on his hip for that clemency, but the moron hadn’t learned regardless. Seemed his sentiments suited the seventh division just fine though.
Ya had to know the difference between when an opponent had to be killed and when it wasn’t worth the effort. Doin’ it all indiscriminately is a waste of time in Zaraki’s book.
Renji was always letting that fool hair of his fall into his face. And he had an inferiority complex, which was probably a billion times worse than even Ayasekawa’s retarded rule about trying not to get dirty. Always had to prove himself, Abarai did, and it pissed Kenpachi the hell off. Still does, when he thinks about it.
At least he’s off proving himself to Kuchiki-hime now, or whatever.
But every man has his limitations, Zaraki supposes.
No man is invincible.
They all got weaknesses and flaws all their own, and it’s simply a matter of each man (if he’s worth his salt) eventually learning how to deal with his own problems himself.
So he’ll give those idiot division members of his-past and present-- some more time before he condemns them to outright hopelessness.
They can’t be expected to be smart enough after all, to do with their weaknesses what Kenpachi did with his right off the bat.
Right after realizing what it was.
“Oi, ya stupid brat, I told ya keep your head low, didn’t I? Now charge again, pea-brain, and get it right this time, wouldja?”
“Okay, Ken-chan!!”
Kenpachi’s the only one of the lot he knows who’s got any brains at all.
Because he took his weakness…
“Move yer ass, stupid!”
“Okay, Ken-chan!”
… and taught it how to kill shit.
END
Edits probably REALLY needed.
BUT I DID ANYWAY.
So yeah.
343.
Title: Weaknesses
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Pairing/Character/s: Eleventh Division
Word Count: 690
Warning/s: Strangeness.
Summary: Kenpachi makes an admission.
Dedication: tsukishine for urging me on (because that was totally hard, I know. XD) and idiosyn for catering to my OMGFANGIRLHEART.
A/N: I did this for the last line and nothing else. So um… that’s probably the only part that isn’t too silly. ^^;;
Kenpachi’s not so stupid that he thinks it’s possible to be invincible.
He knows for a fact that that ain’t true. Knows that the closest you can get is “stronger than you” which is all you really need anyway. But everyone’s got an Achilles Heel somewhere in them, or on them, or both.
Hell, Zaraki can even admit to having some weaknesses of his very own every now and again (to himself anyway).
So he hates it when some idiot comes along who thinks he’s indestructible, who thinks he can take on the world (namely Kenpachi) and come out of it without a scratch.
The eleventh division leader usually makes it a priority to kill those idiots first. With the blunt side of his sword (more fun that way).
Morons.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that every man’s got his limits.
And along those lines, Zaraki makes sure his division members know that they ain’t infallible either, does his best to point out what they suck at ‘cause it’s his job as captain (and it’s fun as all hell, really).
Ikkaku’s got a survivor complex. That’s retarded. Feels like if he loses and his opponent don’t kill him, he’s gotta complain about it. Kenpachi just beats the hell out of the asshole randomly sometimes to get him to realize that it ain’t such a bad thing to survive because it gives you a chance to get stronger and pay the mother fucker that messed you up for no good reason back in the future.
Can’t do that if you’re dead, right?
And the bald idiot plants like a tree stump or something when he’s facing off one-on-one, because the moron thinks there’s something appealingly manly about standing your ground when you fight. Never retreat, always push forward or some such shit.
Idiot.
Yumichika doesn’t like to get dirty when he fights. That’s a world of stupid right there that Kenpachi can’t seem to insult out of the pretty boy. Would rather run (show your back to the enemy? Real smart…) than mess his do up on a good hair day.
But he supposes when the idiot loses an eye or something he’ll learn his lesson.
Fact that he hasn’t yet proves something about the pretty boy’s competence, at least.
When Iba was here Zaraki let the giant moron know that he was too sentimental. Idiot didn’t like to kill enemies already incapacitated. Had a nasty scar on his hip for that clemency, but the moron hadn’t learned regardless. Seemed his sentiments suited the seventh division just fine though.
Ya had to know the difference between when an opponent had to be killed and when it wasn’t worth the effort. Doin’ it all indiscriminately is a waste of time in Zaraki’s book.
Renji was always letting that fool hair of his fall into his face. And he had an inferiority complex, which was probably a billion times worse than even Ayasekawa’s retarded rule about trying not to get dirty. Always had to prove himself, Abarai did, and it pissed Kenpachi the hell off. Still does, when he thinks about it.
At least he’s off proving himself to Kuchiki-hime now, or whatever.
But every man has his limitations, Zaraki supposes.
No man is invincible.
They all got weaknesses and flaws all their own, and it’s simply a matter of each man (if he’s worth his salt) eventually learning how to deal with his own problems himself.
So he’ll give those idiot division members of his-past and present-- some more time before he condemns them to outright hopelessness.
They can’t be expected to be smart enough after all, to do with their weaknesses what Kenpachi did with his right off the bat.
Right after realizing what it was.
“Oi, ya stupid brat, I told ya keep your head low, didn’t I? Now charge again, pea-brain, and get it right this time, wouldja?”
“Okay, Ken-chan!!”
Kenpachi’s the only one of the lot he knows who’s got any brains at all.
Because he took his weakness…
“Move yer ass, stupid!”
“Okay, Ken-chan!”
… and taught it how to kill shit.
END
Edits probably REALLY needed.