it could only be lovechibisensei0808February 3 2011, 08:16:45 UTC
of course, it's a work of love. the plot despite being lifted from classical lit, i bet was difficult to put together. only your love for NEWS can explain how much dedication and hardwork you've put into these stories.
btw, i spotted some edits i think when i re-read it this morning (coz i have nothing better to do and i often do it when i really like the pieces i've read)
1/8
"The PA does two of three... but he thought that the damaged one meant the less shiny one and the case was all fucked up too so naturally he just assumed that was the one that the stage manager had met (meant?)"
“... The fact that most of the staffers on the outlying edges also have the exact same look in their eyes speaks volumes about the sheer amount of terror Ryo’s black mood has caused today, as if Ryo had ordered them all publically (publicly?)..." ___________
4/8
"He’s young at the (that?)time, even younger than he’d been when he’d first gotten into Johnny’s, and as such all he has are wide-eyed, hopeful dreams about what the future holds for his ambitions of stardom..." .
“Hello?” Tegoshi calls out, hoping to get some answers. None come." (isn't "came" gramatically more appropriate?)
"As it turns out, the meeting is so that he can sing with a bright-eyed, round-cheeked boy naked Masuda-kun..." (LOL but isn't it named?) _________________
7/8
“Yeah, a dance!” Yamapi shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. Shige (Yamapi? or some word missing in between) very obviously hadn’t been able to control his alcohol intake for the night."
Sorry for the long comment & the trouble, i think that my OC can't help but notice it.
btw, i spotted some edits i think when i re-read it this morning (coz i have nothing better to do and i often do it when i really like the pieces i've read)
1/8
"The PA does two of three... but he thought that the damaged one meant the less shiny one and the case was all fucked up too so naturally he just assumed that was the one that the stage manager had met (meant?)"
“... The fact that most of the staffers on the outlying edges also have the exact same look in their eyes speaks volumes about the sheer amount of terror Ryo’s black mood has caused today, as if Ryo had ordered them all publically (publicly?)..."
___________
4/8
"He’s young at the (that?)time, even younger than he’d been when he’d first gotten into Johnny’s, and as such all he has are wide-eyed, hopeful dreams about what the future holds for his ambitions of stardom..." .
“Hello?” Tegoshi calls out, hoping to get some answers. None come." (isn't "came" gramatically more appropriate?)
"As it turns out, the meeting is so that he can sing with a bright-eyed, round-cheeked boy naked Masuda-kun..." (LOL but isn't it named?)
_________________
7/8
“Yeah, a dance!” Yamapi shouts, throwing his hands up in the air. Shige (Yamapi? or some word missing in between) very obviously hadn’t been able to control his alcohol intake for the night."
Sorry for the long comment & the trouble, i think that my OC can't help but notice it.
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