NEWS Drabble Dump #35
Some more je100 themed drabbles!
Title: Highly (Dys)Functional
Theme/Topic: AU ( Gov AU)
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS (Cameos by Koki and Riina)
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6x100 (600)
Summary: Sometimes every day life is a little skewed for well-trained operatives.
Dedication: Everyone who understands exactly what Shige is going through in this. I know I do.
A/N: I felt like writing some Gov AU but I don’t think I’ve had time to properly formulate a good long one. So have some shorts in time to je100’s AU theme challenge. Original post here.
1.
“You drove into an old lady,” Yamapi reviews, eying a sulking Ryo in his office.
“I had my siren on, she was supposed to yield!” Ryo counters. “She swerved out into my right of way. Then she yelled at me.”
Yamapi blinks calmly. “Ryo-chan, where were you going?”
Ryo hesitates.
Yamapi’s eyebrow arches.
“Leah Dizon concert,” Ryo admits, eventually.
Yamapi is forced to suspend the sniper’s license to operate government owned vehicles for six months.
“But no one was hurt!” Ryo argues. “And it wasn’t my fault.”
Yamapi supposes that carpools will be necessary until the end of the year.
2.
“So my laptop freezes whenever I turn it on,” Koki says one day, when Tegoshi is over to hang out.
Tegoshi blinks. “Let me see it.”
Koki grins and gets his laptop.
Three hours later, Koki’s laptop is virus free, his DVR is set to record his favorite shows for the next year, his landline is free, his cable is free, his Bluetooth isn’t fuzzy anymore and his universal remote finally functions with every TV in his apartment, as well as his neighbor’s across the atrium.
“Hanging out is always great,” he tells Tegoshi, warmly.
Tegoshi scowls. “Buy me pizza.”
3.
From behind the counter, Shige smiles stiffly. “9,500yen is your change,” he chirps to the girl buying a 450yen bento with a 10,000yen note.
“This store’s gross,” she answers, conversationally. “The floor’s sticky.”
Shige twitches. “My apologies.”
She opens her purse. “Wait, I totally had 500yen,” she realizes, “Can we swap? I hate having a wad of bills.”
“I can’t open my register without a transaction,” Shige says, plainly.
She looks affronted. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
Save us all by not procreating, Shige thinks.
Outwardly, he smiles and grabs his wallet.
Sometimes Shige misses just killing people.
4.
Koyama is at the department store shopping for new clothes with his sister and nephews on his off day; he listens to the boys giggle in the stroller as they pass the housewares department, towards the kid’s department.
But then he also hears ticking.
“Kei?” his sister asks, puzzled when he suddenly freezes.
He doesn’t hear her; straining to find the source.
His sister notices it too. “That’s just…”
A loud buzzing alarm cuts her off.
“Aaah!” Koyama screams, diving behind an escalator.
“…a kitchen timer,” she finishes. Everyone in the store stares.
Koyama quietly excuses himself to the bathroom.
5.
Massu is walking home with his groceries one night, when a figure hiding in an alleyway suddenly grabs him.
Massu doesn’t struggle; he doesn’t want to crush his chips.
“Give me your wallet,” the mugger-a middle-aged guy holding a switchblade-orders.
A beat.
And then Massu laughs. He can’t help it.
“What’s so funny?!” the mugger demands impatiently, making a threatening gesture with the knife.
Massu only laughs harder.
The guy screams and lunges.
Later, when Massu is sitting on top of the groaning mugger while waiting for the police, he politely asks if Mugger-san would like some chips.
6.
“This is the plan,” Yamapi declares. “You’ll come in from the south entrance, round the first aisle, and converge on the shrimp. I’ll maneuver through the front for eggplant and cover Riina until she can grab the carrots. We’ll rendezvous with you at this freezer before advancing together towards the super limited steak special. We’ll have exactly forty-five seconds. Any questions?”
Riina and Yamapi’s mother stare at the blueprints of the neighborhood grocery store Yamapi is pointing to. Its super limited summer BBQ sale starts tomorrow.
Eventually, Riina raises a hand. “Question.”
Yamapi nods. “Yes?”
“What is wrong with you?”
END
Title: It’s Good Weather
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 7x100 (700)
Summary: With reference to Kei-chan NEWS- What type of weather is your favorite?
Dedication: daelite, for the translation. XD
A/N: This is totally because of Kei-chan NEWS. No joke, they talk about what type of weather each member would be. LOL And bugs, and shirts, and other incredibly random things. NEWS makes their own AUS dude. I just ruin them. Original post here.
1.
In Heaven there are gods in charge of everything, of things like fate and luck, life and death.
There are gods for weather too, and while sometimes the gods of life and death or fate and luck laugh at these lesser beings, these creatures always do their best no matter what.
“Every little thing is precious,” the leader of the weather gods exclaims, “Each of us is a different color, but when we unite, we make something wonderful.”
“Right!” the other weather gods say, feeling exactly the same.
Together, they work to make the world a little bit more beautiful.
2.
The snow god is gentle.
He likes people’s need for warmth and companionship; he knows it’s the snow’s job to bring humans closer.
“Stay together and be warm,” he urges, letting his snowflakes cover the world in a peaceful white blanket.
He is at his happiest when he sees the fires begin to light in response to this, when he sees families huddling contentedly around the hearth.
“For a snow god, you sure like warm things,” the rain god snorts at him, but not unkindly.
“I do,” he admits.
For the snow god, bringing people together is his beautiful thing.
3.
The rain god is capricious.
But so is everything in this world. Ebb and flow, joy and sorrow, life and death are all part of nature.
So sometimes he drizzles and sometimes he rages, but no matter what, the earth is better for his being there. The things he destroys come back again with time; he wears down the earth so that it can build itself up again, a constant stream of destruction and renewal.
“You’re kind and vicious at the same time,” his leader often says.
“Someone has to be,” he replies.
For the rain god, change is beauty.
4.
The sun god is strong.
This is because he works hard all the time every day to sustain life, to bring light and growth.
His nature is energy; he never rests. Even when the rain god is working, the sun god remains nearby, patiently waiting. Even when the cloud god drifts past him, he takes every opportunity to peek through.
“So my-paced,” the rain god grumbles, irritated by the heat against his back.
“Go away!” the cloud god complains, trying to chase him off.
But the sun god just smiles and remains, waiting his turn.
For him, reliability is beautiful.
5.
The god of clouds is gloomy.
He’s not strong or dramatic and is often forgotten when he’s beside the rain or the snow god, working with them. He provides relief on the days the sun god is over-enthusiastic and warning on the days the rain god is coming; he thinks he should be better appreciated than he is.
His only pride is his artistry.
“It’s a dragon!” the god of rainbows cheers one day, examining the cloud god’s handiwork. “Cool!”
Down on earth, the children see it and agree.
The cloud god thinks the little things are what define beauty.
6.
The god of the rainbow is elusive.
His job is to temper the rain god’s storms with his brilliant colors; to remind the humans that the rain is merciless but ultimately loving. He also reassures the humans that the sunshine is coming soon, that there are things yet to look forward to.
But he only works when he wants to.
“You’re unreliable,” the rain god chastises, perhaps fondly.
“Stay longer,” the sun god urges.
But the god of rainbows simply laughs and disappears, until he feels like playing again.
He thinks that the rare delights are always the most moving.
7.
Good weather is their king.
Because he lacks definition he is free to take many forms; often he stands beside the other gods and tempers their hands. Sometimes he keeps the snow from falling too heavily or the rain from pounding so relentlessly. Sometimes he helps lessen the sun’s harshest rays, keeps a cloudy day from becoming oppressive, or urges a rainbow to remain for just a moment longer.
“A beautiful world is when we work peacefully together,” he tells them, and gently labors beside them with care.
To their leader, beauty is the simplicity of the every day.
END
Title: Captain Pi-Net
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: crack.
Word Count: 100
Summary: NEWS comes together to save the day.
Dedication: I think I will dedicate this to nobody, because it is just that stupid.
A/N: I’m going to hell. Original post here.
“Earth!” Massu starts brightly, fist pumping skyward.
Ryo scowls. “…fire.”
“Wind!” Tegoshi shouts next, followed by Koyama’s, “Water!”
Silence.
Everyone looks pointedly at Shige in the back; he tries to pretend like he isn’t here.
“Shige,” they say.
“Fine! Heart,” Shige grumbles in mortification, almost inaudibly and off-time with the others’ rhythm.
It still works anyway; rainbow lights promptly shoot from their hands, blending together to become a man with enormous pecs and a slightly stiff smile.
“By your powers combined, I am Captain Pi-Net!” the man says.
“Yay!” The NEWSateers shout.
Captain Pi-Net zooms off to rescue their sales.
END
Title: Mythic Proportions
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 100
Summary: A meeting of different kinds.
Dedication: Ann! Thanks for the Lord of the Rings help. LOL I am so lame.
A/N: Clearly I am too lazy to do any real writing lately. Original post here.
At the Annual Mythical Beasts Convention, representatives from different races gather to discuss territory, diplomacy, human encroachment, and what is appropriate for fairies to wear (or not wear) in public.
On that matter, Tegoshi (the fairy), believes nothing is acceptable.
Speaking for the unicorns, Koyama finds it acceptable for virgins only, while Ryo announces that the Leprechaun’s don’t care; they’re unhappy with the state of the conference’s beer.
Massu declares that the Dwarves like pants as a rule, Yamapi counters that the Centaurs don’t, and Shige sits at the table’s head, thinking that he should’ve gone to Valinor after all.
END
Title: KAT People
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS+CAT-TUN
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6x100 (600)
Summary: NEWS's new companions display their different colors.
Dedication: The cat people on my list. XD
A/N: This is kind of fun, admittedly. Original post here.
1.
After a month, Yamapi realizes that Fatty-chan doesn’t like anyone but him.
“And he outright hates Tegoshi,” Pi frets, while Fatty-chan settles curled up in his lap, refusing to leave.
“Maybe it is because Tegoshi tried taking Fatty-chan off your lap,” Shige theorizes.
Tegoshi pouts. “That place was mine first,” he insists, while the kitten lets out a feral-sounding growl in his general direction.
“It’s just a stupid cat, lure it away with some food or something,” Ryo gripes, sick of hearing about Fatty-chan every day. Fatty-chan growls at him too.
The next day, Fatty-chan throws up in Ryo’s hat.
2.
Ryo knows that Princess is a girl cat, but she is most definitely also a bitch.
His arms are covered in scratches today, while that prissy long-haired white cat sits on top of a shelf, glaring balefully at him.
“I wonder why she’s so moody around you, ne,” Koyama murmurs.
“She’s a bitch,” Ryo explains.
Koyama frets. “You shouldn’t say those sorts of things! Cats understand people!”
Ryo snorts and calls him an idiot, then threatens to shave Princess bald if she doesn’t come down now.
When Princess throws up in his bag later, Ryo actually starts to believe Koyama.
3.
“Baldie keeps getting into fights with Lanky,” Tegoshi worries some time later, when Baldie is purring and sweet in his arms. “But otherwise he’s really nice.”
Shige, who is busy bandaging his cat’s half-torn ear, glares. “Clearly he has a Napoleon complex.”
Tegoshi sniffs. “Are you sure your cat isn’t just annoying?”
Shige wants to argue, except that he suddenly remembers how Lanky kept batting at his head like it was a toy this morning.
He sighs. “Yeah, my cat’s kind of annoying.”
Baldie looks vindicated; Lanky doesn’t notice because he’s too busy getting ready to pounce on Shige’s face.
4.
“Did you remember to feed Jimmy tonight?” Massu’s mother asks him that evening, while Massu is doing sit ups on his room floor.
Massu blinks. “Jimmy?”
“Your cat,” she tells him, slowly. “The one sitting on your bed right now.”
Massu laughs. “Oh yeah!”
He turns to glance at the kitten, that is indeed sitting on his bed and looking very futsu while not raising a fuss about not being fed at all. “Sometimes I forget he’s here, ne,” Massu admits. “He’s so quiet.”
Then stands to go and get Jimmy’s food. Jimmy silently pads after him to the kitchen.
5.
“Nyanta and Tiny are getting used to each other!” Koyama reports on his blog, and takes a picture of Tiny and Nyanta as Nyanta eats and Tiny doesn’t because Nyanta scares him almost as much as Fatty-chan does.
Koyama also notices how, when Tiny tried to sleep in Nyanta’s bed that night, Nyanta had practically smacked Tiny upside the head.
“I think there’s just something about that cat that makes others want to hit it,” Shige postulates later that week, when Lanky accidentally runs over Tiny during their play date.
Koyama wonders why Tiny can’t seem to make any friends.
6.
Kittens eventually become cats with even more distinctive personalities.
Fatty-chan develops a taste for beer when Yamapi accidentally leaves a glass out one night; Yamapi worries Fatty-chan is alcoholic.
Ryo discovers that Princess likes fighting with the strays she meets outside; he may be a little impressed that she’s so good at it despite being such a fluffy white bitch.
Lanky enjoys jumping off of high places. Tiny starts catching mice constantly, Baldie likes licking Tegoshi’s feet, and Jimmy begins making weird machine-like noises in the back of his throat.
NEWS members wonder if it’s time to spade and neuter.
END
Title: The Chosen Few
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: crack.
Word Count: 8x100 (800)
Summary: Follow up to “Mythic Proportions”- How they got there in the first place.
Dedication: Ann again, because seriously, seriously, this is what I asked you that question for in the middle of the night.
A/N: I am a loser.
1.
“The conference is approaching,” Johnny, the King of the Universe declares one day in autumn, his voice deep and raspy with age. “Each race must choose a representative; one who they feel best embodies the positive characteristics of their people. Communication is the only way that our lands will continue to exist harmoniously.”
The races discover they have until tomorrow to choose; King Johnny is infamous for suddenly making things happen, for throwing his subjects together without warning.
But no matter how many times he does this, somehow it always works out okay.
The races scramble to find their delegates.
2.
For the unicorns, the pickings are slim.
“We keep getting killed,” the elder unicorns sigh, wishing virgins’ laps weren’t such wonderful places for naps. After all the times angry princes have jumped out to ambush them afterwards, one would think they would learn.
“What if something like that happens on the journey? If no one arrives on our behalf, King Johnny will be angry.”
They deliberate.
“I know,” a lovely mare suggests, inspired. “My little brother is shy around women; as much as he loves purity, boobs scare him.”
A beat.
“Done,” the elders say.
And so, Koyama is chosen.
3.
None of the centaurs really wants to go, but their competitive natures make a spectacle of the election process anyway.
“The conference is boring,” the tribal leaders acknowledge, “but whoever wins will know that they’re stronger than everyone else here?”
After that stirring speech, the young centaurs gather for competitions like discus throwing, races, and archery contests.
When the weight lifting competition finally arrives, Yamapi is so intent on beating Jin that nothing else matters.
“You won,” Jin admits smugly later, “But at the same time, you lost.”
Yamapi hates it when Jin is right; he reluctantly packs to leave.
4.
The Leprechauns think the conference is a waste of time; the elves and the centaurs always laugh at their height and the fairies sneer at their clothes.
“Drinking contest,” they propose, when it’s time to choose their delegate. “Weakest boozer loses and has to go!”
“We can’t make it that simple,” the leaders chastise, looking disapproving around mugs of beer.
“Aw,” the Leprechauns pout.
“Drinking contest and brawl,” the leaders clarify. “Because if you can’t hold your liquor or fight, we don’t want you around.”
The Leprechauns’ melee ensues.
Ryo gets knocked unconscious by a chair after his second drink.
5.
The Dwarves choose Nakamaru.
He is their smartest, most level-headed citizen. They also know that even though the other races are incredibly trying to be around, Nakamaru is one of the few Dwarves who will be able to endure it without ultimately hammering a hyper-active fairy or a superior elf in the face.
Thus, after many hours of mental preparation and packing, Nakamaru departs.
It isn’t until sometime later that the Dwarves (and Nakamaru) suddenly realize that they’d forgotten to ask King Johnny where the convention is.
To make it in time, they’re forced to send their fastest runner instead.
6.
As a whole, elves are an enlightened, intelligent race.
“Any of us is capable of going,” the elves’ council realizes, and as such, find themselves stuck. If everybody is able, then choosing is almost as impossible as if everybody were unable.
Nearby, a young elf lectures some children on archery. “You can’t tilt your bow sideways! It’s undignified.”
“But I hit the target!”
“Anyone can. Watch!”
He shoots. Misses.
The children laugh.
“Proper technique is still essential!” he screams at them, indignant.
“Send him,” an elder statesman suggests, eventually. “Perhaps then, it will be quieter.”
Everyone defers to his wisdom.
7.
Fairies are mischievous, beautiful creatures that trick and charm their way through life. But even they know that when the conference arrives, serious things are at stake.
“We need a strong-hearted delegate,” the fairy king sighs, troubled as he searches for a candidate, “someone who can fight to get us what we want.”
“How about him?” his wife suggests, pointing outside. Below, the tiniest, most adorable fairy in the kingdom is laughing as he mercilessly pounds several bigger fairies at a playground game gone wrong.
His angelic face makes it easy to overlook his brutal tactics.
“Sold,” the king declares.
8.
From his throne atop the universe’s highest highs, King Johnny watches this year’s convention begin with a knowing smile. He thinks that these delegates will prove as thoroughly entertaining as those that came before, though perhaps not as willing to settle their differences with naked wrestling.
But still, who can go wrong with a graceless elf, an awkward unicorn, a cutthroat fairy, a reluctantly gentle Leprechaun, a cheerful dwarf, and a centaur with a one-track mind?
As a rule, the King of the Universe has always enjoyed the oddest combinations.
In the end, he finds they’re always the most successful.
END
EDITS?
Title: Highly (Dys)Functional
Theme/Topic: AU ( Gov AU)
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS (Cameos by Koki and Riina)
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6x100 (600)
Summary: Sometimes every day life is a little skewed for well-trained operatives.
Dedication: Everyone who understands exactly what Shige is going through in this. I know I do.
A/N: I felt like writing some Gov AU but I don’t think I’ve had time to properly formulate a good long one. So have some shorts in time to je100’s AU theme challenge. Original post here.
1.
“You drove into an old lady,” Yamapi reviews, eying a sulking Ryo in his office.
“I had my siren on, she was supposed to yield!” Ryo counters. “She swerved out into my right of way. Then she yelled at me.”
Yamapi blinks calmly. “Ryo-chan, where were you going?”
Ryo hesitates.
Yamapi’s eyebrow arches.
“Leah Dizon concert,” Ryo admits, eventually.
Yamapi is forced to suspend the sniper’s license to operate government owned vehicles for six months.
“But no one was hurt!” Ryo argues. “And it wasn’t my fault.”
Yamapi supposes that carpools will be necessary until the end of the year.
2.
“So my laptop freezes whenever I turn it on,” Koki says one day, when Tegoshi is over to hang out.
Tegoshi blinks. “Let me see it.”
Koki grins and gets his laptop.
Three hours later, Koki’s laptop is virus free, his DVR is set to record his favorite shows for the next year, his landline is free, his cable is free, his Bluetooth isn’t fuzzy anymore and his universal remote finally functions with every TV in his apartment, as well as his neighbor’s across the atrium.
“Hanging out is always great,” he tells Tegoshi, warmly.
Tegoshi scowls. “Buy me pizza.”
3.
From behind the counter, Shige smiles stiffly. “9,500yen is your change,” he chirps to the girl buying a 450yen bento with a 10,000yen note.
“This store’s gross,” she answers, conversationally. “The floor’s sticky.”
Shige twitches. “My apologies.”
She opens her purse. “Wait, I totally had 500yen,” she realizes, “Can we swap? I hate having a wad of bills.”
“I can’t open my register without a transaction,” Shige says, plainly.
She looks affronted. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
Save us all by not procreating, Shige thinks.
Outwardly, he smiles and grabs his wallet.
Sometimes Shige misses just killing people.
4.
Koyama is at the department store shopping for new clothes with his sister and nephews on his off day; he listens to the boys giggle in the stroller as they pass the housewares department, towards the kid’s department.
But then he also hears ticking.
“Kei?” his sister asks, puzzled when he suddenly freezes.
He doesn’t hear her; straining to find the source.
His sister notices it too. “That’s just…”
A loud buzzing alarm cuts her off.
“Aaah!” Koyama screams, diving behind an escalator.
“…a kitchen timer,” she finishes. Everyone in the store stares.
Koyama quietly excuses himself to the bathroom.
5.
Massu is walking home with his groceries one night, when a figure hiding in an alleyway suddenly grabs him.
Massu doesn’t struggle; he doesn’t want to crush his chips.
“Give me your wallet,” the mugger-a middle-aged guy holding a switchblade-orders.
A beat.
And then Massu laughs. He can’t help it.
“What’s so funny?!” the mugger demands impatiently, making a threatening gesture with the knife.
Massu only laughs harder.
The guy screams and lunges.
Later, when Massu is sitting on top of the groaning mugger while waiting for the police, he politely asks if Mugger-san would like some chips.
6.
“This is the plan,” Yamapi declares. “You’ll come in from the south entrance, round the first aisle, and converge on the shrimp. I’ll maneuver through the front for eggplant and cover Riina until she can grab the carrots. We’ll rendezvous with you at this freezer before advancing together towards the super limited steak special. We’ll have exactly forty-five seconds. Any questions?”
Riina and Yamapi’s mother stare at the blueprints of the neighborhood grocery store Yamapi is pointing to. Its super limited summer BBQ sale starts tomorrow.
Eventually, Riina raises a hand. “Question.”
Yamapi nods. “Yes?”
“What is wrong with you?”
END
Title: It’s Good Weather
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 7x100 (700)
Summary: With reference to Kei-chan NEWS- What type of weather is your favorite?
Dedication: daelite, for the translation. XD
A/N: This is totally because of Kei-chan NEWS. No joke, they talk about what type of weather each member would be. LOL And bugs, and shirts, and other incredibly random things. NEWS makes their own AUS dude. I just ruin them. Original post here.
1.
In Heaven there are gods in charge of everything, of things like fate and luck, life and death.
There are gods for weather too, and while sometimes the gods of life and death or fate and luck laugh at these lesser beings, these creatures always do their best no matter what.
“Every little thing is precious,” the leader of the weather gods exclaims, “Each of us is a different color, but when we unite, we make something wonderful.”
“Right!” the other weather gods say, feeling exactly the same.
Together, they work to make the world a little bit more beautiful.
2.
The snow god is gentle.
He likes people’s need for warmth and companionship; he knows it’s the snow’s job to bring humans closer.
“Stay together and be warm,” he urges, letting his snowflakes cover the world in a peaceful white blanket.
He is at his happiest when he sees the fires begin to light in response to this, when he sees families huddling contentedly around the hearth.
“For a snow god, you sure like warm things,” the rain god snorts at him, but not unkindly.
“I do,” he admits.
For the snow god, bringing people together is his beautiful thing.
3.
The rain god is capricious.
But so is everything in this world. Ebb and flow, joy and sorrow, life and death are all part of nature.
So sometimes he drizzles and sometimes he rages, but no matter what, the earth is better for his being there. The things he destroys come back again with time; he wears down the earth so that it can build itself up again, a constant stream of destruction and renewal.
“You’re kind and vicious at the same time,” his leader often says.
“Someone has to be,” he replies.
For the rain god, change is beauty.
4.
The sun god is strong.
This is because he works hard all the time every day to sustain life, to bring light and growth.
His nature is energy; he never rests. Even when the rain god is working, the sun god remains nearby, patiently waiting. Even when the cloud god drifts past him, he takes every opportunity to peek through.
“So my-paced,” the rain god grumbles, irritated by the heat against his back.
“Go away!” the cloud god complains, trying to chase him off.
But the sun god just smiles and remains, waiting his turn.
For him, reliability is beautiful.
5.
The god of clouds is gloomy.
He’s not strong or dramatic and is often forgotten when he’s beside the rain or the snow god, working with them. He provides relief on the days the sun god is over-enthusiastic and warning on the days the rain god is coming; he thinks he should be better appreciated than he is.
His only pride is his artistry.
“It’s a dragon!” the god of rainbows cheers one day, examining the cloud god’s handiwork. “Cool!”
Down on earth, the children see it and agree.
The cloud god thinks the little things are what define beauty.
6.
The god of the rainbow is elusive.
His job is to temper the rain god’s storms with his brilliant colors; to remind the humans that the rain is merciless but ultimately loving. He also reassures the humans that the sunshine is coming soon, that there are things yet to look forward to.
But he only works when he wants to.
“You’re unreliable,” the rain god chastises, perhaps fondly.
“Stay longer,” the sun god urges.
But the god of rainbows simply laughs and disappears, until he feels like playing again.
He thinks that the rare delights are always the most moving.
7.
Good weather is their king.
Because he lacks definition he is free to take many forms; often he stands beside the other gods and tempers their hands. Sometimes he keeps the snow from falling too heavily or the rain from pounding so relentlessly. Sometimes he helps lessen the sun’s harshest rays, keeps a cloudy day from becoming oppressive, or urges a rainbow to remain for just a moment longer.
“A beautiful world is when we work peacefully together,” he tells them, and gently labors beside them with care.
To their leader, beauty is the simplicity of the every day.
END
Title: Captain Pi-Net
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: crack.
Word Count: 100
Summary: NEWS comes together to save the day.
Dedication: I think I will dedicate this to nobody, because it is just that stupid.
A/N: I’m going to hell. Original post here.
“Earth!” Massu starts brightly, fist pumping skyward.
Ryo scowls. “…fire.”
“Wind!” Tegoshi shouts next, followed by Koyama’s, “Water!”
Silence.
Everyone looks pointedly at Shige in the back; he tries to pretend like he isn’t here.
“Shige,” they say.
“Fine! Heart,” Shige grumbles in mortification, almost inaudibly and off-time with the others’ rhythm.
It still works anyway; rainbow lights promptly shoot from their hands, blending together to become a man with enormous pecs and a slightly stiff smile.
“By your powers combined, I am Captain Pi-Net!” the man says.
“Yay!” The NEWSateers shout.
Captain Pi-Net zooms off to rescue their sales.
END
Title: Mythic Proportions
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 100
Summary: A meeting of different kinds.
Dedication: Ann! Thanks for the Lord of the Rings help. LOL I am so lame.
A/N: Clearly I am too lazy to do any real writing lately. Original post here.
At the Annual Mythical Beasts Convention, representatives from different races gather to discuss territory, diplomacy, human encroachment, and what is appropriate for fairies to wear (or not wear) in public.
On that matter, Tegoshi (the fairy), believes nothing is acceptable.
Speaking for the unicorns, Koyama finds it acceptable for virgins only, while Ryo announces that the Leprechaun’s don’t care; they’re unhappy with the state of the conference’s beer.
Massu declares that the Dwarves like pants as a rule, Yamapi counters that the Centaurs don’t, and Shige sits at the table’s head, thinking that he should’ve gone to Valinor after all.
END
Title: KAT People
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS+CAT-TUN
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Word Count: 6x100 (600)
Summary: NEWS's new companions display their different colors.
Dedication: The cat people on my list. XD
A/N: This is kind of fun, admittedly. Original post here.
1.
After a month, Yamapi realizes that Fatty-chan doesn’t like anyone but him.
“And he outright hates Tegoshi,” Pi frets, while Fatty-chan settles curled up in his lap, refusing to leave.
“Maybe it is because Tegoshi tried taking Fatty-chan off your lap,” Shige theorizes.
Tegoshi pouts. “That place was mine first,” he insists, while the kitten lets out a feral-sounding growl in his general direction.
“It’s just a stupid cat, lure it away with some food or something,” Ryo gripes, sick of hearing about Fatty-chan every day. Fatty-chan growls at him too.
The next day, Fatty-chan throws up in Ryo’s hat.
2.
Ryo knows that Princess is a girl cat, but she is most definitely also a bitch.
His arms are covered in scratches today, while that prissy long-haired white cat sits on top of a shelf, glaring balefully at him.
“I wonder why she’s so moody around you, ne,” Koyama murmurs.
“She’s a bitch,” Ryo explains.
Koyama frets. “You shouldn’t say those sorts of things! Cats understand people!”
Ryo snorts and calls him an idiot, then threatens to shave Princess bald if she doesn’t come down now.
When Princess throws up in his bag later, Ryo actually starts to believe Koyama.
3.
“Baldie keeps getting into fights with Lanky,” Tegoshi worries some time later, when Baldie is purring and sweet in his arms. “But otherwise he’s really nice.”
Shige, who is busy bandaging his cat’s half-torn ear, glares. “Clearly he has a Napoleon complex.”
Tegoshi sniffs. “Are you sure your cat isn’t just annoying?”
Shige wants to argue, except that he suddenly remembers how Lanky kept batting at his head like it was a toy this morning.
He sighs. “Yeah, my cat’s kind of annoying.”
Baldie looks vindicated; Lanky doesn’t notice because he’s too busy getting ready to pounce on Shige’s face.
4.
“Did you remember to feed Jimmy tonight?” Massu’s mother asks him that evening, while Massu is doing sit ups on his room floor.
Massu blinks. “Jimmy?”
“Your cat,” she tells him, slowly. “The one sitting on your bed right now.”
Massu laughs. “Oh yeah!”
He turns to glance at the kitten, that is indeed sitting on his bed and looking very futsu while not raising a fuss about not being fed at all. “Sometimes I forget he’s here, ne,” Massu admits. “He’s so quiet.”
Then stands to go and get Jimmy’s food. Jimmy silently pads after him to the kitchen.
5.
“Nyanta and Tiny are getting used to each other!” Koyama reports on his blog, and takes a picture of Tiny and Nyanta as Nyanta eats and Tiny doesn’t because Nyanta scares him almost as much as Fatty-chan does.
Koyama also notices how, when Tiny tried to sleep in Nyanta’s bed that night, Nyanta had practically smacked Tiny upside the head.
“I think there’s just something about that cat that makes others want to hit it,” Shige postulates later that week, when Lanky accidentally runs over Tiny during their play date.
Koyama wonders why Tiny can’t seem to make any friends.
6.
Kittens eventually become cats with even more distinctive personalities.
Fatty-chan develops a taste for beer when Yamapi accidentally leaves a glass out one night; Yamapi worries Fatty-chan is alcoholic.
Ryo discovers that Princess likes fighting with the strays she meets outside; he may be a little impressed that she’s so good at it despite being such a fluffy white bitch.
Lanky enjoys jumping off of high places. Tiny starts catching mice constantly, Baldie likes licking Tegoshi’s feet, and Jimmy begins making weird machine-like noises in the back of his throat.
NEWS members wonder if it’s time to spade and neuter.
END
Title: The Chosen Few
Theme/Topic: AU
Rating: G
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: crack.
Word Count: 8x100 (800)
Summary: Follow up to “Mythic Proportions”- How they got there in the first place.
Dedication: Ann again, because seriously, seriously, this is what I asked you that question for in the middle of the night.
A/N: I am a loser.
1.
“The conference is approaching,” Johnny, the King of the Universe declares one day in autumn, his voice deep and raspy with age. “Each race must choose a representative; one who they feel best embodies the positive characteristics of their people. Communication is the only way that our lands will continue to exist harmoniously.”
The races discover they have until tomorrow to choose; King Johnny is infamous for suddenly making things happen, for throwing his subjects together without warning.
But no matter how many times he does this, somehow it always works out okay.
The races scramble to find their delegates.
2.
For the unicorns, the pickings are slim.
“We keep getting killed,” the elder unicorns sigh, wishing virgins’ laps weren’t such wonderful places for naps. After all the times angry princes have jumped out to ambush them afterwards, one would think they would learn.
“What if something like that happens on the journey? If no one arrives on our behalf, King Johnny will be angry.”
They deliberate.
“I know,” a lovely mare suggests, inspired. “My little brother is shy around women; as much as he loves purity, boobs scare him.”
A beat.
“Done,” the elders say.
And so, Koyama is chosen.
3.
None of the centaurs really wants to go, but their competitive natures make a spectacle of the election process anyway.
“The conference is boring,” the tribal leaders acknowledge, “but whoever wins will know that they’re stronger than everyone else here?”
After that stirring speech, the young centaurs gather for competitions like discus throwing, races, and archery contests.
When the weight lifting competition finally arrives, Yamapi is so intent on beating Jin that nothing else matters.
“You won,” Jin admits smugly later, “But at the same time, you lost.”
Yamapi hates it when Jin is right; he reluctantly packs to leave.
4.
The Leprechauns think the conference is a waste of time; the elves and the centaurs always laugh at their height and the fairies sneer at their clothes.
“Drinking contest,” they propose, when it’s time to choose their delegate. “Weakest boozer loses and has to go!”
“We can’t make it that simple,” the leaders chastise, looking disapproving around mugs of beer.
“Aw,” the Leprechauns pout.
“Drinking contest and brawl,” the leaders clarify. “Because if you can’t hold your liquor or fight, we don’t want you around.”
The Leprechauns’ melee ensues.
Ryo gets knocked unconscious by a chair after his second drink.
5.
The Dwarves choose Nakamaru.
He is their smartest, most level-headed citizen. They also know that even though the other races are incredibly trying to be around, Nakamaru is one of the few Dwarves who will be able to endure it without ultimately hammering a hyper-active fairy or a superior elf in the face.
Thus, after many hours of mental preparation and packing, Nakamaru departs.
It isn’t until sometime later that the Dwarves (and Nakamaru) suddenly realize that they’d forgotten to ask King Johnny where the convention is.
To make it in time, they’re forced to send their fastest runner instead.
6.
As a whole, elves are an enlightened, intelligent race.
“Any of us is capable of going,” the elves’ council realizes, and as such, find themselves stuck. If everybody is able, then choosing is almost as impossible as if everybody were unable.
Nearby, a young elf lectures some children on archery. “You can’t tilt your bow sideways! It’s undignified.”
“But I hit the target!”
“Anyone can. Watch!”
He shoots. Misses.
The children laugh.
“Proper technique is still essential!” he screams at them, indignant.
“Send him,” an elder statesman suggests, eventually. “Perhaps then, it will be quieter.”
Everyone defers to his wisdom.
7.
Fairies are mischievous, beautiful creatures that trick and charm their way through life. But even they know that when the conference arrives, serious things are at stake.
“We need a strong-hearted delegate,” the fairy king sighs, troubled as he searches for a candidate, “someone who can fight to get us what we want.”
“How about him?” his wife suggests, pointing outside. Below, the tiniest, most adorable fairy in the kingdom is laughing as he mercilessly pounds several bigger fairies at a playground game gone wrong.
His angelic face makes it easy to overlook his brutal tactics.
“Sold,” the king declares.
8.
From his throne atop the universe’s highest highs, King Johnny watches this year’s convention begin with a knowing smile. He thinks that these delegates will prove as thoroughly entertaining as those that came before, though perhaps not as willing to settle their differences with naked wrestling.
But still, who can go wrong with a graceless elf, an awkward unicorn, a cutthroat fairy, a reluctantly gentle Leprechaun, a cheerful dwarf, and a centaur with a one-track mind?
As a rule, the King of the Universe has always enjoyed the oddest combinations.
In the end, he finds they’re always the most successful.
END
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