NewS Drabble Dump #22
Title: Idols Are Like Schoolgirls In That They Can’t Use Public Transportation Without Getting A Little Bit Molested
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-15
Character/Pairing/s: TegoxRyo (mentions of the other members)
Warnings/Spoilers: Lameness?
Word Count: 825
Summary: Ryo’s lack of car means going back to the tried and true.
Dedication: UM, this is mostly failed so let’s just say it’s for Shige since he can relate.
A/N: Ahaha I chickened out.
With a recently-and very publicly- suspended driver’s license, too much pride to ask Jin for a ride (because Jin would require payback in the form of slave labor of the self-effacing kind), and too much joy de vivre to ask Yamapi for a lift (especially given the fact that Yamapi always seems like he’s on the verge of falling asleep these days), it falls to Ryo to reluctantly return to that age old way of travel that had sustained him through the better part of middle school and high school. Public transportation.
Or more specifically, the train.
And while taking the train had been a perfectly viable means of getting around back in the heyday of his youth, Ryo can’t help but feel a slight sense of disbelief at having to come back to it like this after all these years, especially now that he’s experienced the control and convenience and (more importantly) the power that comes with owning a car.
Tegoshi on the other hand, still seems to like taking the train despite currently being in possession of a valid driver’s license (and thus able to drive, in a manner of speaking); Ryo finds out it’s because when Tegoshi is trying to park on the busy streets of Tokyo people don’t smile nicely at him and let him take his time or have their spots like everything else they let him have in life. “I think it’s because my windows are tinted, ne,” the younger idol theorizes on the matter, as the two of them board the train together one evening, after Koyama and Shige both couldn’t give either of them a lift back because the two of them are doing Kei-chan NEWS tonight.
As for the others, Massu doesn’t drive and as far as Ryo knows, Yamapi hasn’t left his apartment for the last three days anyway.
Or in summary, when NEWS decides to fail, they do it as a collective, goddammit.
When Ryo and Tegoshi get on the train Ryo supposes that at least the car isn’t stuffed to capacity like it was this morning (thankfully), but as it is, there are still enough people around so that the two idols have to stand, Tegoshi wrapping his arm around one of the poles and casually leaning against it for support while Ryo braces himself near his groupmate, his back pressed to the window as he stands just to the side of the doors.
“This is so lame,” Ryo sighs to himself, as two old ladies sitting in the aisle across from them avidly discuss the best way to ferment soybeans together while some miserable looking businessmen hang listlessly from the handrails towards the back.
Tegoshi doesn’t seem to notice the depressing atmosphere inside the train car and beams back at Ryo sweetly. “I dunno, I like the train,” he says, his big sunglasses over his big eyes and hat pulled low on his head. “I think it’s kind of exciting.”
Ryo snorts. “How is this exciting?” he asks, when nothing much happens except one of the delinquents in the corner yawns and turns up the music on his iPod so that it is obnoxiously loud instead of just irritatingly loud.
Tegoshi laughs. “Because it’s a little bit dangerous for us, isn’t it? There are things that can happen when you’re on a train that can’t while you’re driving a car, ne.”
Ryo is determined to be right about this. “We’re not going to get robbed or molested or mobbed, Tegoshi.”
Tegoshi grins and pushes off the pole a little bit, until his chest bumps into Ryo’s arm, almost stirring the napping office worker snoring in the seat to their left. “That’s not what I meant,” he clarifies, as his arms come up around Ryo’s waist and he fits the rest of his body up against his groupmate’s almost exactly like he’d been doing with that pole just now.
Ryo blinks. “Oh,” he realizes after a beat, while Tegoshi is professionally-and wetly- laving his tongue over his palm several times in languid preparation.
Somehow, part of Ryo feels like he should have known this was coming all along.
In the meantime, Tegoshi reaches forward, laughing in Ryo’s ear while Ryo sucks in a sharp breath; he tries not to make eye contact with either of the two old ladies across the aisle or any of the businessmen blinking blearily at him from the back of the car for the rest of the ride.
Twenty minutes and half a dozen stations later, Ryo gets off at his stop after getting off right before it; as he realigns the buttons on his slightly rumpled shirt and pulls his belt back to center he supposes that while he still prefers having a car at his disposal, taking the train with a friend every once in a while isn’t so bad after all.
Especially since it also means there’s nothing to reupholster after the fact.
END
Title: In Which NEWS Practically Writes their Own Fanfiction
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, stupid, LAME.
Word Count: 995
Summary: NewS takes an fan’s idea and runs with it.
Dedication: LOL daelite and the Kei-chan NEWS Subbing team. I will never not have fodder because of you.
A/N: Because the 2009-03-16 Kei-chan NEWS is AMAZING.
When Shige walks in to work the morning of March 17th it is exactly how he feared it might be after listening to Koyama’s ridiculous radio show last night; Koyama and Massu are still talking about that issue today, except now they’ve roped the others into their idiotic schemes too.
They’re taking notes.
“No, that doesn’t make sense,” Yamapi insists, in a lecturing sort of tone, “Tegoshi doesn’t need the wig since this isn’t a period thing, ne. But he can still be the sickly bocchama who gets rescued because Ryo-chan is beating him up.” He pauses, looking pleased with his own creativity. “So the story will be, one night Ryo-chan tries to kill Tegoshi in a fire and then Massu comes and saves him, right? After that, Koyama and I can nurse him back to health in the hospital while Shige the lawyer takes Ryo-chan to court and tries to send him to prison. Then Ryo-chan gets mad and tries to beat up Shige because of it! That makes sense. Because Ryo-chan wouldn’t just randomly go around beating up people for no reason, ne.”
Koyama frowns. “Eh, but isn’t the thought of Tegorin getting beat up too depressing? Doesn’t it break your heart to think about? If a member is going to get beat up, it definitely has to be Shige, ne.”
Massu agrees. “Tegoshi getting beat up isn’t interesting at all.”
“And I would never beat up Tego-nyan,” Ryo feels the need to chime in, even though he considers this entire conversation to be pointless and mortifying.
Yamapi frowns at their (seemingly) logical counter arguments. “Eh, I guess so, then.”
Tegoshi laughs. “How about instead of trying to send Ryo-tan to prison, Shige is trying to help him stay out of it instead? And while he’s defending Ryo-tan they fall in love, but since Ryo-tan is that kind of character, after they get together is when he starts to beat up Shige instead?”
The others look thoughtful. “Mmm, that might work,” Koyama acquiesces eventually, and writes that down on his notepaper.
“This is getting pretty good, ne,” Yamapi whistles, as he leans over Koyama’s shoulder to reread what they have so far.
Eventually, Shige can’t take it anymore and cross his arms before clearing his throat. “Please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”
The others light up when they finally notice him. “Shige!” Tegoshi chirps, “Shige come look at our story so far ne. It’s amazing.”
“I am not getting beat up by Nishikido-kun,” Shige grits out.
The others look crestfallen. “Eh, why not? That’s the entire funny part of the story you’re messing up,” Koyama pouts.
“How is that even funny?!” Shige demands hotly.
The others grow silent, before looking at each other. Eventually they snicker, when the image of tiny Ryo-chan wailing on elite Shige gets to be too much. “It just is! It’s funny!” Koyama insists, while Ryo rolls his eyes from the couch.
Shige scowls. “Why does there have to be violence? Why can’t it be something more simplistic than that?”
Massu vaguely wonders what is more simplistic than a punch to the face.
Shige sighs at his groupmates’ lack of imagination. “For example,” he starts, sounding all superior at his ability to come up with alternatives on the spot (regardless of what a stupid activity this is in the first place), “Say I just happen to be a quick-witted and discerning hotshot lawyer and Nishikido-kun is that stupid guy from the drama he was in who works at the AV store. I could be a regular customer at his shop who he always argues with. If we did it that way, then there would be no beating involved at all, but rather, witty and intriguing dialogue. At least on my part. Then, one day, the store catches on fire and from there, everyone else’s characters come into play in the ways you’ve all already established. Doesn’t that sound better than a bunch of random, senseless violence? It’s like an art film about daily life and meaningless yet meaningful encounters.”
The others all stare at him for a moment.
Eventually, Tegoshi is the first to come to a conclusion about it all. “Eh,” he murmurs, while looking at Shige oddly, “so Shige is saying that he’s someone who is a regular customer at AV shops, ne.”
The others murmur in understanding once they hear. “Ah, yes. It seems like Shige could be that type of character when you look at him carefully,” Yamapi realizes, nodding to himself. “I see, I see.”
Koyama clutches at his chest a little. “I didn’t know you had those kinds of hobbies, Shige!”
Massu just looks disapproving.
Shige sputters. “What? No! I was just saying that because it was an example! Because of Nishikido-kun’s character! We were talking about crossing over drama roles, right? He worked at an adult video store!”
All he gets are several silent, slightly judgmental looks in response.
Eventually, he sighs when he realizes that this is probably not an argument he is going to win (because clearly logic is not an option in this universe). “Okay fine,” he acquiesces resignedly, shoulders slumping, “Nishikido-kun can beat me up.”
“Yay!” his groupmates all say (except for Ryo, who still looks slightly mortified now that the subject has changed back to that instead of Shige and porn).
Shige just hangs his head and trudges off to get changed, while a chorus of, “Can Shige have those little Xs on his eyes like dead fish do in manga?” and, “Is Massu going to save him too? Can he really carry Tegoshi and Shige at the same time?” chime in all around him in the background.
Shige thinks that it is in moments like these when he realizes that establishing a kingdom where all the inhabitants can live in intellectual superiority like he’s always wanted also means not being able to bring anyone else in Johnny’s into it with him.
END
EDITS?
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-15
Character/Pairing/s: TegoxRyo (mentions of the other members)
Warnings/Spoilers: Lameness?
Word Count: 825
Summary: Ryo’s lack of car means going back to the tried and true.
Dedication: UM, this is mostly failed so let’s just say it’s for Shige since he can relate.
A/N: Ahaha I chickened out.
With a recently-and very publicly- suspended driver’s license, too much pride to ask Jin for a ride (because Jin would require payback in the form of slave labor of the self-effacing kind), and too much joy de vivre to ask Yamapi for a lift (especially given the fact that Yamapi always seems like he’s on the verge of falling asleep these days), it falls to Ryo to reluctantly return to that age old way of travel that had sustained him through the better part of middle school and high school. Public transportation.
Or more specifically, the train.
And while taking the train had been a perfectly viable means of getting around back in the heyday of his youth, Ryo can’t help but feel a slight sense of disbelief at having to come back to it like this after all these years, especially now that he’s experienced the control and convenience and (more importantly) the power that comes with owning a car.
Tegoshi on the other hand, still seems to like taking the train despite currently being in possession of a valid driver’s license (and thus able to drive, in a manner of speaking); Ryo finds out it’s because when Tegoshi is trying to park on the busy streets of Tokyo people don’t smile nicely at him and let him take his time or have their spots like everything else they let him have in life. “I think it’s because my windows are tinted, ne,” the younger idol theorizes on the matter, as the two of them board the train together one evening, after Koyama and Shige both couldn’t give either of them a lift back because the two of them are doing Kei-chan NEWS tonight.
As for the others, Massu doesn’t drive and as far as Ryo knows, Yamapi hasn’t left his apartment for the last three days anyway.
Or in summary, when NEWS decides to fail, they do it as a collective, goddammit.
When Ryo and Tegoshi get on the train Ryo supposes that at least the car isn’t stuffed to capacity like it was this morning (thankfully), but as it is, there are still enough people around so that the two idols have to stand, Tegoshi wrapping his arm around one of the poles and casually leaning against it for support while Ryo braces himself near his groupmate, his back pressed to the window as he stands just to the side of the doors.
“This is so lame,” Ryo sighs to himself, as two old ladies sitting in the aisle across from them avidly discuss the best way to ferment soybeans together while some miserable looking businessmen hang listlessly from the handrails towards the back.
Tegoshi doesn’t seem to notice the depressing atmosphere inside the train car and beams back at Ryo sweetly. “I dunno, I like the train,” he says, his big sunglasses over his big eyes and hat pulled low on his head. “I think it’s kind of exciting.”
Ryo snorts. “How is this exciting?” he asks, when nothing much happens except one of the delinquents in the corner yawns and turns up the music on his iPod so that it is obnoxiously loud instead of just irritatingly loud.
Tegoshi laughs. “Because it’s a little bit dangerous for us, isn’t it? There are things that can happen when you’re on a train that can’t while you’re driving a car, ne.”
Ryo is determined to be right about this. “We’re not going to get robbed or molested or mobbed, Tegoshi.”
Tegoshi grins and pushes off the pole a little bit, until his chest bumps into Ryo’s arm, almost stirring the napping office worker snoring in the seat to their left. “That’s not what I meant,” he clarifies, as his arms come up around Ryo’s waist and he fits the rest of his body up against his groupmate’s almost exactly like he’d been doing with that pole just now.
Ryo blinks. “Oh,” he realizes after a beat, while Tegoshi is professionally-and wetly- laving his tongue over his palm several times in languid preparation.
Somehow, part of Ryo feels like he should have known this was coming all along.
In the meantime, Tegoshi reaches forward, laughing in Ryo’s ear while Ryo sucks in a sharp breath; he tries not to make eye contact with either of the two old ladies across the aisle or any of the businessmen blinking blearily at him from the back of the car for the rest of the ride.
Twenty minutes and half a dozen stations later, Ryo gets off at his stop after getting off right before it; as he realigns the buttons on his slightly rumpled shirt and pulls his belt back to center he supposes that while he still prefers having a car at his disposal, taking the train with a friend every once in a while isn’t so bad after all.
Especially since it also means there’s nothing to reupholster after the fact.
END
Title: In Which NEWS Practically Writes their Own Fanfiction
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing/s: NEWS
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, stupid, LAME.
Word Count: 995
Summary: NewS takes an fan’s idea and runs with it.
Dedication: LOL daelite and the Kei-chan NEWS Subbing team. I will never not have fodder because of you.
A/N: Because the 2009-03-16 Kei-chan NEWS is AMAZING.
When Shige walks in to work the morning of March 17th it is exactly how he feared it might be after listening to Koyama’s ridiculous radio show last night; Koyama and Massu are still talking about that issue today, except now they’ve roped the others into their idiotic schemes too.
They’re taking notes.
“No, that doesn’t make sense,” Yamapi insists, in a lecturing sort of tone, “Tegoshi doesn’t need the wig since this isn’t a period thing, ne. But he can still be the sickly bocchama who gets rescued because Ryo-chan is beating him up.” He pauses, looking pleased with his own creativity. “So the story will be, one night Ryo-chan tries to kill Tegoshi in a fire and then Massu comes and saves him, right? After that, Koyama and I can nurse him back to health in the hospital while Shige the lawyer takes Ryo-chan to court and tries to send him to prison. Then Ryo-chan gets mad and tries to beat up Shige because of it! That makes sense. Because Ryo-chan wouldn’t just randomly go around beating up people for no reason, ne.”
Koyama frowns. “Eh, but isn’t the thought of Tegorin getting beat up too depressing? Doesn’t it break your heart to think about? If a member is going to get beat up, it definitely has to be Shige, ne.”
Massu agrees. “Tegoshi getting beat up isn’t interesting at all.”
“And I would never beat up Tego-nyan,” Ryo feels the need to chime in, even though he considers this entire conversation to be pointless and mortifying.
Yamapi frowns at their (seemingly) logical counter arguments. “Eh, I guess so, then.”
Tegoshi laughs. “How about instead of trying to send Ryo-tan to prison, Shige is trying to help him stay out of it instead? And while he’s defending Ryo-tan they fall in love, but since Ryo-tan is that kind of character, after they get together is when he starts to beat up Shige instead?”
The others look thoughtful. “Mmm, that might work,” Koyama acquiesces eventually, and writes that down on his notepaper.
“This is getting pretty good, ne,” Yamapi whistles, as he leans over Koyama’s shoulder to reread what they have so far.
Eventually, Shige can’t take it anymore and cross his arms before clearing his throat. “Please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”
The others light up when they finally notice him. “Shige!” Tegoshi chirps, “Shige come look at our story so far ne. It’s amazing.”
“I am not getting beat up by Nishikido-kun,” Shige grits out.
The others look crestfallen. “Eh, why not? That’s the entire funny part of the story you’re messing up,” Koyama pouts.
“How is that even funny?!” Shige demands hotly.
The others grow silent, before looking at each other. Eventually they snicker, when the image of tiny Ryo-chan wailing on elite Shige gets to be too much. “It just is! It’s funny!” Koyama insists, while Ryo rolls his eyes from the couch.
Shige scowls. “Why does there have to be violence? Why can’t it be something more simplistic than that?”
Massu vaguely wonders what is more simplistic than a punch to the face.
Shige sighs at his groupmates’ lack of imagination. “For example,” he starts, sounding all superior at his ability to come up with alternatives on the spot (regardless of what a stupid activity this is in the first place), “Say I just happen to be a quick-witted and discerning hotshot lawyer and Nishikido-kun is that stupid guy from the drama he was in who works at the AV store. I could be a regular customer at his shop who he always argues with. If we did it that way, then there would be no beating involved at all, but rather, witty and intriguing dialogue. At least on my part. Then, one day, the store catches on fire and from there, everyone else’s characters come into play in the ways you’ve all already established. Doesn’t that sound better than a bunch of random, senseless violence? It’s like an art film about daily life and meaningless yet meaningful encounters.”
The others all stare at him for a moment.
Eventually, Tegoshi is the first to come to a conclusion about it all. “Eh,” he murmurs, while looking at Shige oddly, “so Shige is saying that he’s someone who is a regular customer at AV shops, ne.”
The others murmur in understanding once they hear. “Ah, yes. It seems like Shige could be that type of character when you look at him carefully,” Yamapi realizes, nodding to himself. “I see, I see.”
Koyama clutches at his chest a little. “I didn’t know you had those kinds of hobbies, Shige!”
Massu just looks disapproving.
Shige sputters. “What? No! I was just saying that because it was an example! Because of Nishikido-kun’s character! We were talking about crossing over drama roles, right? He worked at an adult video store!”
All he gets are several silent, slightly judgmental looks in response.
Eventually, he sighs when he realizes that this is probably not an argument he is going to win (because clearly logic is not an option in this universe). “Okay fine,” he acquiesces resignedly, shoulders slumping, “Nishikido-kun can beat me up.”
“Yay!” his groupmates all say (except for Ryo, who still looks slightly mortified now that the subject has changed back to that instead of Shige and porn).
Shige just hangs his head and trudges off to get changed, while a chorus of, “Can Shige have those little Xs on his eyes like dead fish do in manga?” and, “Is Massu going to save him too? Can he really carry Tegoshi and Shige at the same time?” chime in all around him in the background.
Shige thinks that it is in moments like these when he realizes that establishing a kingdom where all the inhabitants can live in intellectual superiority like he’s always wanted also means not being able to bring anyone else in Johnny’s into it with him.
END
EDITS?