JE/NEWS- "Play that Funky Music (Or the One Where NewS Learns to Work With the Vajayjay)"
Title: Play that Funky Music (Or the One Where NewS Learns to Work With the Vajayjay)
Universe: JE/NewS
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS (mentions of Okada, Toma, and Nakai)
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC, random, stupidity
Word Count: 2,220
Summary: NewS learns how to deal with the girls in the club.
Dedication: mousapelli- this is your EARLY birthday fic because I could not wait given how much I love this PV. And how much I think you probably love it too. XD
A/N: The Koi no ABO PV screamed for it, okay. I may have watched it around fifty times (for serious) now.
Disclaimer: No harm or infringement intended.
“You guys, you guys!” Manager-san practically shrieks as he comes barreling into the meeting room that morning, after he’s done talking with the sponsors, “I just found out what your next PV is going to be about.”
“Good morning!” everyone in NewS greets him from the table, politely. Koyama offers him tea.
He coughs. “Good morning. Er yeah. Your new PV. I know all about it.” He holds up an important looking folio with RUSS-K’s logo printed on it.
“Yay!” NewS cheers automatically when they see. It’s been a while since they’ve done anything, after all.
“This time you’ll have a real set!” Manager-san announces, almost in tears.
“Yay!” the group responds again, because given everything that happened last time, this is very happy news.
“And!” Manager-san adds, with a flourish, “You will get extras on set with you this time!”
“Yay!” NewS says once more, as the members get more and more excited with each new bit of information. It sounds like they’ll almost get to have a KAT-TUN-like PV at this rate.
Manager-san saves-what he thinks is- the best for last. “And some of those extras will also be girls. Not all of them, but some of them. And you will get to flirt with them.”
The ecstatic “Yay!” he had been hoping for upon making the final big announcement doesn’t come.
He blinks, and notices that the group now looks very slightly thoughtful, on the verge of being outright troubled.
“What?” Manager-san asks, and has a bad feeling about this.
“Nothing!” Koyama says quickly, and laughs in that nervous horrible way he does whenever he’s trying to comfort someone but failing miserably. “Can you go get us some drinks?”
Manager-san blinks and almost reminds them that they all already have tea. But Koyama is giving him a very hopeful look, and so he sighs and says, “Uh, sure, I guess. I’ll just leave this here.” He puts the folio down on the table and backs out of the room wondering what is wrong with his group today. Do they feel sick?
Maybe he will buy them all something warm to drink to make them feel better.
~~~~~
Once the door closes behind Manager-san, NewS all scoot their chairs closer together at the far end of the table and hold an emergency meeting.
“How are we going to flirt with girls during a PV?” Koyama murmurs awkwardly. “If I do that, after we cut, I won’t be able to look them in the eye again. I’ll be too embarrassed!”
Shige grabs the folio and starts flipping through it. He pales. “It’s not just flirting. We actually have to hit on them. And look cool while we do it.”
More nervous glances.
“Oh my god,” Ryo starts, and tries to sound tough even though his voice cracks a little, “We’ve all worked with girls on dramas before, what’s the big deal?”
“I don’t want to hear that from the guy who couldn’t look his female costar in the eye during a live television interview,” Shige bites back, from where he is still staring at the production sketches and the fact that sketch-him is skeeving on a nameless, faceless group of sketch-girls.
Ryo hunkers lower in his seat and glowers at the reminder.
“Leader, ne, Leader’s worked with a girl on our PV before!” Tegoshi pipes up, turning to his hero with big, hopeful eyes. “Leader has some advice, right? Tell us how to do this without making the backstage awkward afterwards, ne.”
Yamapi’s brow furrows, like he’s reluctant to share.
After a moment, Tegoshi’s hopeful eyes very obviously turn to the slightly watery puppy eyes. His lip may or may not tremble slightly.
Yamapi sighs and looks away. “What I do when I have to work with girls is very easy,” he explains, though he still looks troubled as he talks, like giving away this secret will somehow magically erase at least a 50% share of his mysterious cool. “But you guys have to keep it just between us, okay?”
Everyone readily agrees, because to get Yamapi’s secret in charming women is like finding an American person’s weight in gold.
That said, Yamapi clears his throat. Sits up a little bit straighter. “I pretend that the girl I’m working with that day is someone from the jimusho dressed up in cosplay.”
Silence.
Then, “I knew he treated Masami-chan a little bit too much like Toma,” Shige realizes, after a moment.
Yamapi frowns, but it might be in embarrassment. “You can’t tell anyone!” he repeats, making a resolute motion in the air with his hand. “It’s just… because we always work with guys-and sometimes cute ones too-it’s easier to just imagine it that way, right? It makes it feel more comfortable.”
The others stop to think about it.
“Eh, that makes sense,” they concede, eventually. Because they have all at one point or another, very comfortably pretended to make out with one of their bandmates or another Johnny while that person was wearing a skirt. Or while they were the one wearing a skirt, depending.
“Sasuga Leader,” Tegoshi laughs.
“But!” Yamapi adds hastily, because this is a trick of the trade that he has spent many years perfecting and thus knows all the ins and outs to it, “You have to imagine it’s someone who looks good in whatever outfit is being worn on set, otherwise you’ll just keep laughing during the takes, ne, and all your NGs will end up on the end-of-season drama grand prix. Nakai-kun will probably mock you.”
“Ah,” the others murmur, and start to think about which person in Johnny’s would look good in the skimpy dancing outfits that cute girls wear to nightclubs.
“Right then, Tego-nyan it is,” Ryo decides eventually, and everyone else supposes that they were thinking the exact same thing.
Except for Massu, who wonders if he can pretend his girl is a meatbun-in-cosplay instead.
~~~~~
On the day of the PV filming some weeks later, Manager-san is extremely relieved to discover that NewS’s initial reluctance to work with girls is long gone. In fact, as the group waits around backstage with their extras the conversation is lively and more importantly normal; Nishikido-kun hasn’t (as of now) put up his hand between his eyes and any of the girls and told them to please not look at him when they speak.
In light of this, Manager-san thinks that they are showing tremendous growth as a Johnny’s group and that maybe one day they can always have PVs like this that are similar to KAT-TUN’s except with a story too.
In the meantime, Koyama goes for his take before the others and does it perfect on the first try; Manager-san thinks that it is almost miraculous.
“When did Koyama-kun learn to swagger like that?” some of the JE staff wonder in awe, as they watch Koyama lick his lips and confidently lean towards the girl he is hitting on in the video. “It’s kind of sexy, isn’t it?”
At the same time, in the back of his mind, Koyama thinks that Tegoshi really looks cute in that orange dress; he hopes that the viewers still like today’s fanservice even though there’s not any real kissing happening this time.
~~~~~
Later, when Shige is on the couch surrounded by Yuuko-chan and her twin sister, he suddenly realizes that they’re actually triplets when another girl with the same face walks by, intent on not paying attention to him. He snorts and stands up to intercept, takes her by the hand. “Don’t leave,” he says, and thinks that this time, Yuuko-chan isn’t going to forget about him like she did when she was too busy kissing Koyama on stage to remember to kiss Shige too.
“Shige-kun looks like he’s a predator with his prey,” a production assistant swoons when she sees the curl of Shige’s lip as he pulls the extra towards him, “He really is an elite prince type, isn’t he?”
Her friend squeals in agreement and the two of them decide that they’d happily become a part of the Kato-kingdom any day.
~~~~~
On the other side of the set, Yamapi may or may not accidentally pat his leg while he’s filming his segment on the couch; he doesn’t realize what’s happening for a moment when he tells the girl he is working with to, “Go ahead and sit on my lap if you want.”
The girl blushes unexpectedly and Yamapi never remembers Tegoshi being shy about anything as simple as this, but smiles back because it’s cute.
“Yamapi’s quite bold in this setting, isn’t he?” the directing assistant clucks on the sidelines, and thinks it’s amazing when celebrities can have such pronounced on/off switches like that. “He’s a real professional.”
“Yeah,” the other female extras all sigh, looking at Yamapi dreamily. “A real professional.”
~~~~~
After that Ryo corners his girl at the bar and suddenly remembers a night last summer in Hawaii during their group CM filming. There had been plenty of tequila and limes that night, and the soft, sensitive parts of Tegoshi’s sides as he’d squirmed on the sand under Ryo’s hands; the alcohol had made his defenses weak and Ryo remembers the way he’d laughed until he’d cried while he was being tickled, cutely begging Ryo-kun to please stop before pouting and blaming Shige for revealing his weaknesses to the world in the last DVD.
“Buy you another shot?” Ryo murmurs low in his voice, into the ear of his extra. “You liked tequila, right?”
The extra smiles and nods and plays it off as getting in character and working to the camera even though all of their audio will be cut out later anyway.
“So that’s what he means by sexy Osaka man,” a PA whistles to one of his colleagues when he sees the wicked sparkle in Nishikido’s eye, as the two of them stand off to the side and hold the bounce boards up to the actors. “I saw that interview for Ryuusei no Kizuna and I thought this guy was afraid of women or something.”
“When they’re working, Johnnies can do anything,” the second PA shrugs, and remembers that one time on a location shoot where he’d watched Okada walk on water. “But in real life most of them are a mess.”
His theories are only confirmed when, upon the director’s abrupt shout of, “Cut!” Ryo immediately gets up from the barstool and wordlessly staggers over to sit in the corner of the set with his hands over his head.
~~~~~
Later that afternoon is the only real time when they have any trouble with the shoot; it is (oddly enough) during Tegoshi’s segment.
“Tegoshi-kun,” the director sighs, “you have to look interested in the girls. Like you want them.”
Tegoshi blinks. “I’ll keep trying, ne,” he promises, and bows in apology when he gets his third NG of the day.
“Poor kid,” some of the other extras murmur, “he hasn’t been doing this for very long compared to everyone else, has he? It shows.”
They talk like that during his next four NGs, and start to speculate about the limits of his ability up until the moment he walks past the set mirror and pauses for a second, to fix his hair.
The director blinks. “That’s it,” he realizes, after watching Tegoshi’s face in that moment.
“That’s what?” the assistant director asks, because he’d missed it entirely.
“Change of storyboard,” the director announces suddenly. “Tegoshi-kun, go look into that mirror like you did just now.”
Tegoshi seems confused for a moment, but eventually nods and bounces over. He smiles at his reflection and starts to primp.
“Oooh,” everyone else on set realizes when they see, and think that the director is a really inspired man for being able to create something so beautiful when before there had been nothing but problems.
While they shoot, Tegoshi happily looks at himself in the mirror and ignores the extras; reality is obviously way better than his imagination could ever be.
~~~~~
Massu goes last, and somehow, manages to steal the show in the blink of the eye when he casually looks over his shoulder at his female counterpart during their dance on the floor, his eyes hungry, body fluid.
She smiles back in shivery anticipation under that gaze and it is like pure gold for the camera lens.
“Cut!” the director yells happily once the serious parts are done filming, and despite all the unexpected brilliance each and every one of his actors have given him today, decides that that moment has the most genuine feeling of lustful pursuit between any of the members and their female costars out of everything he’s seen during the entire course of the shoot.
Everyone-in awe- silently wonders when Massu became the kind of man who is confident enough to look at a girl like he’s going to devour her.
As it is, Massu is the only one who is vividly aware of the fact that it's almost lunchtime.
~~~~~
Five days later, Manager-san- in a flurry of joyful tears- writes a letter to Johnny stating that he is absolutely certain that NewS is ready to have PVs like this forever, with sets and extras and sexy.
In the meantime, despite the girls, most of NewS comes away from the filming feeling oddly gay.
END
EDITS PLS.
Universe: JE/NewS
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS (mentions of Okada, Toma, and Nakai)
Warnings/Spoilers: OOC, random, stupidity
Word Count: 2,220
Summary: NewS learns how to deal with the girls in the club.
Dedication: mousapelli- this is your EARLY birthday fic because I could not wait given how much I love this PV. And how much I think you probably love it too. XD
A/N: The Koi no ABO PV screamed for it, okay. I may have watched it around fifty times (for serious) now.
Disclaimer: No harm or infringement intended.
“You guys, you guys!” Manager-san practically shrieks as he comes barreling into the meeting room that morning, after he’s done talking with the sponsors, “I just found out what your next PV is going to be about.”
“Good morning!” everyone in NewS greets him from the table, politely. Koyama offers him tea.
He coughs. “Good morning. Er yeah. Your new PV. I know all about it.” He holds up an important looking folio with RUSS-K’s logo printed on it.
“Yay!” NewS cheers automatically when they see. It’s been a while since they’ve done anything, after all.
“This time you’ll have a real set!” Manager-san announces, almost in tears.
“Yay!” the group responds again, because given everything that happened last time, this is very happy news.
“And!” Manager-san adds, with a flourish, “You will get extras on set with you this time!”
“Yay!” NewS says once more, as the members get more and more excited with each new bit of information. It sounds like they’ll almost get to have a KAT-TUN-like PV at this rate.
Manager-san saves-what he thinks is- the best for last. “And some of those extras will also be girls. Not all of them, but some of them. And you will get to flirt with them.”
The ecstatic “Yay!” he had been hoping for upon making the final big announcement doesn’t come.
He blinks, and notices that the group now looks very slightly thoughtful, on the verge of being outright troubled.
“What?” Manager-san asks, and has a bad feeling about this.
“Nothing!” Koyama says quickly, and laughs in that nervous horrible way he does whenever he’s trying to comfort someone but failing miserably. “Can you go get us some drinks?”
Manager-san blinks and almost reminds them that they all already have tea. But Koyama is giving him a very hopeful look, and so he sighs and says, “Uh, sure, I guess. I’ll just leave this here.” He puts the folio down on the table and backs out of the room wondering what is wrong with his group today. Do they feel sick?
Maybe he will buy them all something warm to drink to make them feel better.
~~~~~
Once the door closes behind Manager-san, NewS all scoot their chairs closer together at the far end of the table and hold an emergency meeting.
“How are we going to flirt with girls during a PV?” Koyama murmurs awkwardly. “If I do that, after we cut, I won’t be able to look them in the eye again. I’ll be too embarrassed!”
Shige grabs the folio and starts flipping through it. He pales. “It’s not just flirting. We actually have to hit on them. And look cool while we do it.”
More nervous glances.
“Oh my god,” Ryo starts, and tries to sound tough even though his voice cracks a little, “We’ve all worked with girls on dramas before, what’s the big deal?”
“I don’t want to hear that from the guy who couldn’t look his female costar in the eye during a live television interview,” Shige bites back, from where he is still staring at the production sketches and the fact that sketch-him is skeeving on a nameless, faceless group of sketch-girls.
Ryo hunkers lower in his seat and glowers at the reminder.
“Leader, ne, Leader’s worked with a girl on our PV before!” Tegoshi pipes up, turning to his hero with big, hopeful eyes. “Leader has some advice, right? Tell us how to do this without making the backstage awkward afterwards, ne.”
Yamapi’s brow furrows, like he’s reluctant to share.
After a moment, Tegoshi’s hopeful eyes very obviously turn to the slightly watery puppy eyes. His lip may or may not tremble slightly.
Yamapi sighs and looks away. “What I do when I have to work with girls is very easy,” he explains, though he still looks troubled as he talks, like giving away this secret will somehow magically erase at least a 50% share of his mysterious cool. “But you guys have to keep it just between us, okay?”
Everyone readily agrees, because to get Yamapi’s secret in charming women is like finding an American person’s weight in gold.
That said, Yamapi clears his throat. Sits up a little bit straighter. “I pretend that the girl I’m working with that day is someone from the jimusho dressed up in cosplay.”
Silence.
Then, “I knew he treated Masami-chan a little bit too much like Toma,” Shige realizes, after a moment.
Yamapi frowns, but it might be in embarrassment. “You can’t tell anyone!” he repeats, making a resolute motion in the air with his hand. “It’s just… because we always work with guys-and sometimes cute ones too-it’s easier to just imagine it that way, right? It makes it feel more comfortable.”
The others stop to think about it.
“Eh, that makes sense,” they concede, eventually. Because they have all at one point or another, very comfortably pretended to make out with one of their bandmates or another Johnny while that person was wearing a skirt. Or while they were the one wearing a skirt, depending.
“Sasuga Leader,” Tegoshi laughs.
“But!” Yamapi adds hastily, because this is a trick of the trade that he has spent many years perfecting and thus knows all the ins and outs to it, “You have to imagine it’s someone who looks good in whatever outfit is being worn on set, otherwise you’ll just keep laughing during the takes, ne, and all your NGs will end up on the end-of-season drama grand prix. Nakai-kun will probably mock you.”
“Ah,” the others murmur, and start to think about which person in Johnny’s would look good in the skimpy dancing outfits that cute girls wear to nightclubs.
“Right then, Tego-nyan it is,” Ryo decides eventually, and everyone else supposes that they were thinking the exact same thing.
Except for Massu, who wonders if he can pretend his girl is a meatbun-in-cosplay instead.
~~~~~
On the day of the PV filming some weeks later, Manager-san is extremely relieved to discover that NewS’s initial reluctance to work with girls is long gone. In fact, as the group waits around backstage with their extras the conversation is lively and more importantly normal; Nishikido-kun hasn’t (as of now) put up his hand between his eyes and any of the girls and told them to please not look at him when they speak.
In light of this, Manager-san thinks that they are showing tremendous growth as a Johnny’s group and that maybe one day they can always have PVs like this that are similar to KAT-TUN’s except with a story too.
In the meantime, Koyama goes for his take before the others and does it perfect on the first try; Manager-san thinks that it is almost miraculous.
“When did Koyama-kun learn to swagger like that?” some of the JE staff wonder in awe, as they watch Koyama lick his lips and confidently lean towards the girl he is hitting on in the video. “It’s kind of sexy, isn’t it?”
At the same time, in the back of his mind, Koyama thinks that Tegoshi really looks cute in that orange dress; he hopes that the viewers still like today’s fanservice even though there’s not any real kissing happening this time.
~~~~~
Later, when Shige is on the couch surrounded by Yuuko-chan and her twin sister, he suddenly realizes that they’re actually triplets when another girl with the same face walks by, intent on not paying attention to him. He snorts and stands up to intercept, takes her by the hand. “Don’t leave,” he says, and thinks that this time, Yuuko-chan isn’t going to forget about him like she did when she was too busy kissing Koyama on stage to remember to kiss Shige too.
“Shige-kun looks like he’s a predator with his prey,” a production assistant swoons when she sees the curl of Shige’s lip as he pulls the extra towards him, “He really is an elite prince type, isn’t he?”
Her friend squeals in agreement and the two of them decide that they’d happily become a part of the Kato-kingdom any day.
~~~~~
On the other side of the set, Yamapi may or may not accidentally pat his leg while he’s filming his segment on the couch; he doesn’t realize what’s happening for a moment when he tells the girl he is working with to, “Go ahead and sit on my lap if you want.”
The girl blushes unexpectedly and Yamapi never remembers Tegoshi being shy about anything as simple as this, but smiles back because it’s cute.
“Yamapi’s quite bold in this setting, isn’t he?” the directing assistant clucks on the sidelines, and thinks it’s amazing when celebrities can have such pronounced on/off switches like that. “He’s a real professional.”
“Yeah,” the other female extras all sigh, looking at Yamapi dreamily. “A real professional.”
~~~~~
After that Ryo corners his girl at the bar and suddenly remembers a night last summer in Hawaii during their group CM filming. There had been plenty of tequila and limes that night, and the soft, sensitive parts of Tegoshi’s sides as he’d squirmed on the sand under Ryo’s hands; the alcohol had made his defenses weak and Ryo remembers the way he’d laughed until he’d cried while he was being tickled, cutely begging Ryo-kun to please stop before pouting and blaming Shige for revealing his weaknesses to the world in the last DVD.
“Buy you another shot?” Ryo murmurs low in his voice, into the ear of his extra. “You liked tequila, right?”
The extra smiles and nods and plays it off as getting in character and working to the camera even though all of their audio will be cut out later anyway.
“So that’s what he means by sexy Osaka man,” a PA whistles to one of his colleagues when he sees the wicked sparkle in Nishikido’s eye, as the two of them stand off to the side and hold the bounce boards up to the actors. “I saw that interview for Ryuusei no Kizuna and I thought this guy was afraid of women or something.”
“When they’re working, Johnnies can do anything,” the second PA shrugs, and remembers that one time on a location shoot where he’d watched Okada walk on water. “But in real life most of them are a mess.”
His theories are only confirmed when, upon the director’s abrupt shout of, “Cut!” Ryo immediately gets up from the barstool and wordlessly staggers over to sit in the corner of the set with his hands over his head.
~~~~~
Later that afternoon is the only real time when they have any trouble with the shoot; it is (oddly enough) during Tegoshi’s segment.
“Tegoshi-kun,” the director sighs, “you have to look interested in the girls. Like you want them.”
Tegoshi blinks. “I’ll keep trying, ne,” he promises, and bows in apology when he gets his third NG of the day.
“Poor kid,” some of the other extras murmur, “he hasn’t been doing this for very long compared to everyone else, has he? It shows.”
They talk like that during his next four NGs, and start to speculate about the limits of his ability up until the moment he walks past the set mirror and pauses for a second, to fix his hair.
The director blinks. “That’s it,” he realizes, after watching Tegoshi’s face in that moment.
“That’s what?” the assistant director asks, because he’d missed it entirely.
“Change of storyboard,” the director announces suddenly. “Tegoshi-kun, go look into that mirror like you did just now.”
Tegoshi seems confused for a moment, but eventually nods and bounces over. He smiles at his reflection and starts to primp.
“Oooh,” everyone else on set realizes when they see, and think that the director is a really inspired man for being able to create something so beautiful when before there had been nothing but problems.
While they shoot, Tegoshi happily looks at himself in the mirror and ignores the extras; reality is obviously way better than his imagination could ever be.
~~~~~
Massu goes last, and somehow, manages to steal the show in the blink of the eye when he casually looks over his shoulder at his female counterpart during their dance on the floor, his eyes hungry, body fluid.
She smiles back in shivery anticipation under that gaze and it is like pure gold for the camera lens.
“Cut!” the director yells happily once the serious parts are done filming, and despite all the unexpected brilliance each and every one of his actors have given him today, decides that that moment has the most genuine feeling of lustful pursuit between any of the members and their female costars out of everything he’s seen during the entire course of the shoot.
Everyone-in awe- silently wonders when Massu became the kind of man who is confident enough to look at a girl like he’s going to devour her.
As it is, Massu is the only one who is vividly aware of the fact that it's almost lunchtime.
~~~~~
Five days later, Manager-san- in a flurry of joyful tears- writes a letter to Johnny stating that he is absolutely certain that NewS is ready to have PVs like this forever, with sets and extras and sexy.
In the meantime, despite the girls, most of NewS comes away from the filming feeling oddly gay.
END
EDITS PLS.