JE/NEWS- "The Johnny's Effect"
Title: The Johnny’s Effect
Universe: JE/NEWS
Theme/Topic: Shige's parents harass him to get a girlfriend already, so he brings Yuuko home to get them off of his back
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing/s: Shige, Tego (and Shige’s parents)
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, ooc, um, Kato-household assumptions.
Word Count: 1,145
Summary: This is what JE does to you. Or something.
Dedication: crystallekil for our drabble exchange! Except mine became a ficlet, go figure.
A/N: Ahaha I am working on cheloya’s request next, I SWEAR.
Disclaimer: No harm or infringement intended.
Shige notices it immediately when his parents start to eye him more often than they used to whenever his phone rings now; he sees the way they try to look like they're not listening to his half of the conversation from the living room even though they very obviously are, and how they fail at hiding their heavy sighs and looks of disappointment whenever the other caller ends up just being Koyama, or their manager, or Tegoshi who needs directions to get some place.
Shige lasts for about two weeks under these conditions before he snaps; it happens when they are in the middle of dinner one night and his parents ask him what he's been doing with his free time lately. All he can honestly say on that matter is, "Going out with Koyama," and “Going to work,” and "Homework," unless they want him to outright lie.
Their reactions are less than supportive.
His father's response is to sigh in sad resignation, while his mother's response is to give his father a look that either says, "Eat your peas," or "No matter what happens he's our son and we love him."
Shige's father returns to eating his peas, but still looks very, very gloomy.
Shige’s mother looks sympathetically at Shige and offers him an extra helping of meat, even though she’s been getting on his case lately about getting fat.
It is precisely at that moment when Shige can't stand it anymore. "What is wrong with you two?!" he demands, and puts his chopsticks down. "You're giving me the same pitying, judgmental looks that Tegoshi does whenever I fall down in front of him in the shower."
His father winces again.
Shige glares. "What?!"
His mother tries to placate them both. "Well, it's just... your father and I have noticed lately how you only ever seem to talk about school and work and …the other boys... it worries us."
Shige blinks. "What? Why?"
His father looks like he's about to say something that he’ll have to apologize for later, but before he can, the look Shige’s mother shoots him definitely says, "Eat your peas," this time.
Shige's father grudgingly complies, while his mother smiles-watery around the edges- and pushes on in all civility. "We were wondering if maybe we should set you up for an arranged marriage."
Shige chokes on air. "Excuse me?!"
"Not right now of course, but later, maybe, after your work dies down a bit. Because it's hard to meet people outside of school, and you're always so busy... we think maybe this is the only way you'll ever be able to..."
Shige holds up a hand, will still coughing. "Please don't finish that sentence," he tells them once he can, and puts his napkin back on the table. "I'm going upstairs now."
His mother looks like she wants to keep talking about this, but after looking at Shige's face, sighs and nods. "Of course."
Shige gets up to leave; he can hear his parents arguing in shouted whispers about him all the way up to his room.
Knowing the two of them, he thinks he needs to do something about this situation before it drives him crazy.
~~~~~
Three days later, Tegoshi shows up to his door as requested, dressed in a cute frilly dress that was probably designed for girls much shorter than him. He’s got the brunette wig on again too, except this time styled properly as Shige had insisted.
Shige stares at the picture Tegoshi presents critically.
“Shige, I got felt up on the train twice on my way over here ne,” Tegoshi reports around a pout, as Shige studies him. “You better take me somewhere nice tonight, okay?”
“Sure,” Shige agrees without really listening. Despite the dress being a little bit too small, Shige eventually supposes that this will have to do. A girlfriend who looks cute but kind of slutty is better than no girlfriend at all at this point, if Shige’s readings regarding his father’s constant bad mood and his mother’s forced cheerfulness to compensate for his father’s bad mood are correct.
“C’mon,” Shige says after a beat, and grabs Tegoshi’s hand, pulls him into the entryway. “Just smile cute at them and say you love me lots.”
Tegoshi beams. “I do love you lots!” he declares, and lets himself get yanked into the house to prove it.
“Shige, who is it?” his mother asks from the kitchen, after having heard the doorbell ring.
“It’s my girlfriend!” Shige shouts back very obviously, and Tegoshi fixes his hair one last time before there is a thundering of footsteps and both Kato-parents are in the doorway peering at the newcomer with barely contained eagerness.
“Oh…my,” Shige’s mother says, when she sees. “Well, welcome…”
“Yuuko!” Tegoshi reports, voice pitched high and eyelashes batting. “I love Shige lots!” he adds at random, as promised.
Shige bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from commenting out loud about timing. This is Tegoshi, after all.
“Hello, Yuuko-chan,” Shige’s mother finishes with a smile and a nod, after looking Tegoshi over first. “Are you two going out for dinner?”
“Yeah,” Shige says, and plays it cool while he surreptitiously eyes his father next.
His father cannot take his eyes off of Tegoshi-in-the-dress, and Shige wonders- with a vague sense of horror-as to whether his father is a closet pervert or something. “Your dress is very nice,” his father says, eventually.
“Thanks!” Tegoshi chirps, “Shige picked it out for me ne.”
His dad blinks. “It um, it suits you.”
Shige does not want to stick around to find out what his father means by that. He yanks Tegoshi towards the exit. “So we’re going out, we’ll be back late, don’t worry if I don’t call,” Shige tells them all in one breath, and is out the door without another word.
“It was nice meeting you!” Tegoshi chirps over his shoulder, as Shige slams the door behind them.
On the way to dinner, Shige congratulates himself on a job well done and for being so smart in general. “Now they have to leave me alone about this,” he theorizes.
Tegoshi is just bored. “You’re still treating tonight, right?” he asks, and pulls the wig off.
In the meantime, back at the Kato residence, Shige’s father looks at his wife knowingly. “I told you he was gay,” he finally gets to say out loud, and has no peas to be told to go back to eating this time.
Shige’s mother sighs. “Oh my. I didn’t know Tegoshi-kun had those kinds of habits. Do you think I should call his mother and let her know? I mean, it’s the thing to do if we’re going to be in-laws, right?”
Shige’s father wordlessly sulks out of the room and wonders if letting his only son join Johnny’s jimusho was a good idea after all.
END
EDITS?
Universe: JE/NEWS
Theme/Topic: Shige's parents harass him to get a girlfriend already, so he brings Yuuko home to get them off of his back
Rating: PG
Character/Pairing/s: Shige, Tego (and Shige’s parents)
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, ooc, um, Kato-household assumptions.
Word Count: 1,145
Summary: This is what JE does to you. Or something.
Dedication: crystallekil for our drabble exchange! Except mine became a ficlet, go figure.
A/N: Ahaha I am working on cheloya’s request next, I SWEAR.
Disclaimer: No harm or infringement intended.
Shige notices it immediately when his parents start to eye him more often than they used to whenever his phone rings now; he sees the way they try to look like they're not listening to his half of the conversation from the living room even though they very obviously are, and how they fail at hiding their heavy sighs and looks of disappointment whenever the other caller ends up just being Koyama, or their manager, or Tegoshi who needs directions to get some place.
Shige lasts for about two weeks under these conditions before he snaps; it happens when they are in the middle of dinner one night and his parents ask him what he's been doing with his free time lately. All he can honestly say on that matter is, "Going out with Koyama," and “Going to work,” and "Homework," unless they want him to outright lie.
Their reactions are less than supportive.
His father's response is to sigh in sad resignation, while his mother's response is to give his father a look that either says, "Eat your peas," or "No matter what happens he's our son and we love him."
Shige's father returns to eating his peas, but still looks very, very gloomy.
Shige’s mother looks sympathetically at Shige and offers him an extra helping of meat, even though she’s been getting on his case lately about getting fat.
It is precisely at that moment when Shige can't stand it anymore. "What is wrong with you two?!" he demands, and puts his chopsticks down. "You're giving me the same pitying, judgmental looks that Tegoshi does whenever I fall down in front of him in the shower."
His father winces again.
Shige glares. "What?!"
His mother tries to placate them both. "Well, it's just... your father and I have noticed lately how you only ever seem to talk about school and work and …the other boys... it worries us."
Shige blinks. "What? Why?"
His father looks like he's about to say something that he’ll have to apologize for later, but before he can, the look Shige’s mother shoots him definitely says, "Eat your peas," this time.
Shige's father grudgingly complies, while his mother smiles-watery around the edges- and pushes on in all civility. "We were wondering if maybe we should set you up for an arranged marriage."
Shige chokes on air. "Excuse me?!"
"Not right now of course, but later, maybe, after your work dies down a bit. Because it's hard to meet people outside of school, and you're always so busy... we think maybe this is the only way you'll ever be able to..."
Shige holds up a hand, will still coughing. "Please don't finish that sentence," he tells them once he can, and puts his napkin back on the table. "I'm going upstairs now."
His mother looks like she wants to keep talking about this, but after looking at Shige's face, sighs and nods. "Of course."
Shige gets up to leave; he can hear his parents arguing in shouted whispers about him all the way up to his room.
Knowing the two of them, he thinks he needs to do something about this situation before it drives him crazy.
~~~~~
Three days later, Tegoshi shows up to his door as requested, dressed in a cute frilly dress that was probably designed for girls much shorter than him. He’s got the brunette wig on again too, except this time styled properly as Shige had insisted.
Shige stares at the picture Tegoshi presents critically.
“Shige, I got felt up on the train twice on my way over here ne,” Tegoshi reports around a pout, as Shige studies him. “You better take me somewhere nice tonight, okay?”
“Sure,” Shige agrees without really listening. Despite the dress being a little bit too small, Shige eventually supposes that this will have to do. A girlfriend who looks cute but kind of slutty is better than no girlfriend at all at this point, if Shige’s readings regarding his father’s constant bad mood and his mother’s forced cheerfulness to compensate for his father’s bad mood are correct.
“C’mon,” Shige says after a beat, and grabs Tegoshi’s hand, pulls him into the entryway. “Just smile cute at them and say you love me lots.”
Tegoshi beams. “I do love you lots!” he declares, and lets himself get yanked into the house to prove it.
“Shige, who is it?” his mother asks from the kitchen, after having heard the doorbell ring.
“It’s my girlfriend!” Shige shouts back very obviously, and Tegoshi fixes his hair one last time before there is a thundering of footsteps and both Kato-parents are in the doorway peering at the newcomer with barely contained eagerness.
“Oh…my,” Shige’s mother says, when she sees. “Well, welcome…”
“Yuuko!” Tegoshi reports, voice pitched high and eyelashes batting. “I love Shige lots!” he adds at random, as promised.
Shige bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from commenting out loud about timing. This is Tegoshi, after all.
“Hello, Yuuko-chan,” Shige’s mother finishes with a smile and a nod, after looking Tegoshi over first. “Are you two going out for dinner?”
“Yeah,” Shige says, and plays it cool while he surreptitiously eyes his father next.
His father cannot take his eyes off of Tegoshi-in-the-dress, and Shige wonders- with a vague sense of horror-as to whether his father is a closet pervert or something. “Your dress is very nice,” his father says, eventually.
“Thanks!” Tegoshi chirps, “Shige picked it out for me ne.”
His dad blinks. “It um, it suits you.”
Shige does not want to stick around to find out what his father means by that. He yanks Tegoshi towards the exit. “So we’re going out, we’ll be back late, don’t worry if I don’t call,” Shige tells them all in one breath, and is out the door without another word.
“It was nice meeting you!” Tegoshi chirps over his shoulder, as Shige slams the door behind them.
On the way to dinner, Shige congratulates himself on a job well done and for being so smart in general. “Now they have to leave me alone about this,” he theorizes.
Tegoshi is just bored. “You’re still treating tonight, right?” he asks, and pulls the wig off.
In the meantime, back at the Kato residence, Shige’s father looks at his wife knowingly. “I told you he was gay,” he finally gets to say out loud, and has no peas to be told to go back to eating this time.
Shige’s mother sighs. “Oh my. I didn’t know Tegoshi-kun had those kinds of habits. Do you think I should call his mother and let her know? I mean, it’s the thing to do if we’re going to be in-laws, right?”
Shige’s father wordlessly sulks out of the room and wonders if letting his only son join Johnny’s jimusho was a good idea after all.
END
EDITS?