JE/NEWS/KAT-TUN/K8- "The Penguin’s Revenge"
Why hello again, 3am. -_-;; BUT I AM MAKING MY WAY DOWN MY LIST OF THINGS TO WRITE? YAY?
Title: The Penguin’s Revenge
Universe: JE/KAT-TUN/NewS/K8
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, Jin (small appearances by KT-TUN and K8 members, as well as TOKIO and Kinki)
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack and stupidity; OOC?
Word Count: 2,693
Summary: In which Jin discovers that he is really a super villain and Tegoshi saves the day...for himself.
Dedication: konliza- I’M SORRY FOR HIJAKING YOUR UNIVERSE BUT I JUST REALLY REALLY WANTED TO FIND SOME WAY TO THANK YOU FOR WRITING ALL THOSE SIDE DRABBLES FOR ME AND THIS WAS SERIOUSLY ALL I COULD THINK OF. Yeah.
A/N: I bastardize other people’s genius. Go and read konliza’s BRILLIANT fic of utter hilarity entitled “WHACK! KA-POW! ZING!” RIGHT NOW. And ignore this fic plz.
Disclaimer: No harm is meant by this!
Distribution: Just lemme know.
Jin may have given up on BatJin in favor of Grey Renjaa at this point, but even still, Tegoshi can’t quite shake the feeling that Jin had cast him as the Penguin for a reason. Ueda as Poison Ivy was clearly because Ueda is pretty and evil and Yamapi as Batgirl had clearly been because he has large boobs and is bouncy, so Tegoshi can’t help but think that somewhere in his head, Jin thinks that Tegoshi is just like Penguin, all fat and ugly. And evil.
He can’t stop thinking about it, and as such, won’t stop bothering other people about it either.
“Ryo-tan, does this make me look fat?” he asks sadly one day, and timidly models his new stage costume for his solo during winter con.
Ryo looks incredulous. “What the hell. Of course it doesn’t. Stop being a retard.”
Tegoshi’s eyes start to tear, “Oh god, now I’m stupid too!” he mourns, and goes to curl up miserably on the couch.
Ryo stares.
~~~~~
“Kei-chan, am I ugly?” Tegoshi asks later, and tugs adorably on Koyama’s sleeve, looking up at the older boy with big eyes through long lashes.
Koyama blinks. “What? Why would you think that? Of course you’re not ugly, Tegorin.”
Tegoshi beams back at him. “Really?”
Koyama nods and ruffles Tegoshi’s hair. “Un. Now stop asking strange questions like that, ne?”
Tegoshi’s bottom lip suddenly quivers, “Oh no, does this mean everyone thinks I’m weird too?” he whimpers.
Koyama flails.
~~~~~
“Shige, am I…”
Shige cuts him off curtly. “I’m not taking any part in this, so don’t drag me into your problems.”
Tegoshi immediately starts to cry again; “Now Shige hates me! I must really be evil too!”
He flees to the bathroom.
Shige blinks.
After a second, Ryo starts throwing things at Shige’s head and calling him a douche bag. “I just got him to stop crying, you moron!”
~~~~~
“Alright,” Shige says irately some time later, while Massu is busy comforting Tegoshi in the bathroom, “this has got to stop.” He holds an ice pack to his temple and glares pointedly at Ryo.
“Agreed,” Ryo seconds, and throws something else at Shige’s head, just because.
Yamapi frowns; he looks very troubled by all of this. “But what can we do, ne. Penguin is fat and ugly and evil and Jin called Tegoshi that even though he’s not any of those things.”
Shige crosses his arms. “Well, then, we clearly need to talk to Jin.”
~~~~~
Jin, complete with grey jumpsuit and badly painted bicycle helmet, is forcibly dragged into NewS’s dressing room ten minutes later by an annoyed Yamapi and an even more annoyed Ryo. In the meantime, Massu, Shige, and Koyama all manage to slowly coax Tegoshi out of the bathroom with plenty of compliments and promises of play dates for the next ten weekends in a row. “C’mon, Tegorin,” Koyama pleads, “Akanishi-kun has something important to say to you.”
Jin isn’t sure what is going on as Yamapi and Ryo pull him into their dressing room and seat him on the couch, but he looks forward to his next challenge as the newest member of Kyuu Renjaa regardless of what it may be. Though he hopes it involves giant, transforming robots this time and not just getting Yokoyama drinks at the vending machine two floors down anymore.
“You are going to tell Tego-nyan that he is not fat or ugly or stupid or weird and that you’re just a dumbass who doesn’t think before saying things,” Ryo explains to him very slowly, and holds him to the couch by the collar. Pause. “Oh, and evil. You’re also going to tell him that he’s not evil either.”
Jin frowns, and just as Tegoshi walks into the room sniffling, says, “But we’re still going to fight evil right now, aren’t we?”
Tegoshi hears this and his lip starts to quiver again; he whirls around and retreats back into the bathroom shouting, “He’s here to vanquish me!” at the top of his lungs. Shige and Koyama don’t have any more free afternoons to bribe him back out with and Massu has disappeared, presumably to the vending machine two floors down.
Ryo snarls and smacks Jin’s helmet as all of his hopes for a peaceful winter concert tour are dashed. “I didn’t know you had enough free time to go around messing up other people’s group dynamics instead of just your own,” he growls at Jin, and kicks him in the shins when he remembers that the helmet is there for protection.
“You’re definitely better suited for the role of a villain than a hero,” Shige tells Jin with a pained sigh, and Jin pouts at them both.
Surprisingly, it is Massu on his way back from the vending machine with chocolate who puts two and two together when he hears this; he comes up with a brilliant solution.
~~~~~
Massu ambles quietly into the bathroom while everyone is yelling at Jin and makes his way to the very last stall, where he can hear a few pathetic sniffles. “Tesshi,” he starts, gently, and knocks on the door.
“Go away,” Tegoshi murmurs, “I’m fat and ugly and stupid and weird.” Pause. “And evil.”
Massu shakes his head even though Tegoshi can’t see it. “You’re not. I figured it all out, ne,” he starts.
A brief pause, and then a skeptical, “Really?”
“Yup! You missed it just now, but Shige just called Jin a villain, and villains are bad, right?”
“Un.”
“So if a villain says anything, and they’re bad, then it’s probably a lie, right? Since lying is bad too and villains like being bad.”
“…un.”
Massu is very pleased with his logic. “So if Jin is really the villain here and everything he says is a lie since that’s what villains do, if he calls you fat and ugly and stupid and weird, then you’re definitely not any of those things, right?”
Silence.
Oh yeah.
“Oh, and you’re also not evil either, ne,” Massu amends, when he realizes he forgot that last one for some reason.
How odd.
But he doesn’t have time to dwell on it, because a second later, he hears the bolt unlatch.
~~~~~
“But if Jin is really the evil one here,” Tegoshi whispers to Massu a few minutes later, “then shouldn’t we try to stop him?”
Massu blinks. “Eh?”
Tegoshi looks thoughtful; “What is the first thing someone does if they have to fight evil?” he asks.
Massu doesn’t really know where Tegoshi’s train of thought is headed, but he is used to that, so just goes along for the ride.
After a moment, Tegoshi knows exactly what he has to do and dutifully informs Massu about it too. “Massu,” he says, “Massu, I have to become a superhero and save the world from Jin!”
~~~~~
Massu’s eyes start to glaze over as Tegoshi explains the detailed plan to reveal the true nature of Evil!Jin to the world that he has come up with just now; Tegoshi says that maybe he’s not going to become a superhero for it exactly because he would look funny in tights. But he’ll become something close, like a secret agent. Secret agents are just like superheroes, but much cooler looking. And it will be perfect since they already know that all of NewS looks really good in suits.
“Yosh! This,” Tegoshi says, “will be a covert operation for a superhero secret agent!!”
Massu doesn’t know what the word covert means, but he’s glad Tesshi seems happy again, so he nods and smiles.
~~~~~
“You are going to go in there and apologize to him and say that everything you ever did in your life was a mistake. Especially calling him fat and ugly and weird and stupid.” Pause. “And evil,” Ryo snarls irately.
“When are we going to fight evil?” Jin whines. “Do we get a mecha?”
Ryo ignores him and they turn the corner to meet the rest of NewS, who are standing guard outside of their dressing room. “He’s inside,” Massu reports, just like Tesshi told him to do when he sees the two of them.
“Good.” Ryo finally lets go of Jin’s ear.
And then opens the door and promptly kicks him into the room.
They close the door and wait.
~~~~~
Jin blinks and finds Tegoshi sitting in the dressing room all by himself waiting for something; it’s a bit dim right now and the kid is sitting on the couch looking down at Jin as he’s sprawled out on the floor from Ryo-chan’s unnecessarily hard kick. For some reason, when Jin sees Tegoshi like that, his instincts tell him that this is very, very no good.
“Akanishi-kun,” Tegoshi says, and has big, sad eyes.
Kind of like Mumble, who is a penguin, who Jin had watched and then heard Tegoshi’s voice go with in Happy Feet (hence his motivation for casting Tegoshi as the Penguin). The math had really been very simple to Jin at the time, but now everyone seems displeased with his assessment.
He opens his mouth to say something about how he’s not wrong about it (he’s not sure what), but before he can, Tegoshi’s eyes start to water, his lip trembles, and after two-point-five seconds, he starts wailing at the top of his very powerful, non-smoking singer’s lungs.
Jin panics.
~~~~~
Ryo is the first one to storm into the room after the plaintive cries start; when he sees Tegoshi sitting on the couch in full-blown sobbing mode while Jin is running around flailing and shrieking, “Stop it!” at the kid, Ryo’s vision goes completely red for the next ten minutes.
Meanwhile, Koyama and Yamapi immediately run to Tegoshi’s side while Shige tries to figure out what is going on and Massu wonders if this is somehow, all part of that secret agent mission Tegoshi had been talking about earlier. As for Ryo, he already knows everything he needs to know about the situation and repeatedly punches Jin in the head while calling him names.
Jin is just very, very confused.
And very, very glad he still has his helmet on.
~~~~~
Later that week, when Yokoyama hears about the whole sordid affair from Ryo, he promptly takes offense (because he loves Tegoshi), and tells Jin right off that he officially can’t be Grey Renjaa because the job of the Eito Renjaa is to preserve friendship and decency and everything good in this world, which Tegoshi is obviously the adorable embodiment of. Jin has very clearly violated that rule, and now must be stripped of the rank they never really gave him in the first place anyway. “Your services of getting us snacks will be sorely missed,” Yoko adds, like an afterthought.
Jin whines and tries to explain his reasoning for the whole Penguin thing with Happy Feet again, but suddenly Tegoshi is there on Eito’s practice floor seemingly out of nowhere; he immediately sees Jin and hides behind Yoko and Murakami pathetically. His lip is trembling as he clings to Murakami’s side.
“We can’t have this happen whenever he comes to visit!” Yoko declares in high panic, and Murakami makes Jin hand in his grey helmet for good while the rest of Eito gently rubs Tegoshi’s back and tells him that everything will be all right.
“Oh god,” Jin frets, when he sees Tegoshi with tears in his eyes again, “Shige was right; maybe I really am a villain!!”
~~~~~
The next time they cross paths in the hallway Tegoshi immediately starts wailing out of nowhere; Jin stares in horror as senpai come running from every which direction at their baby chick’s cries of distress. TOKIO quickly pulls Tegoshi behind them protectively while Kinki thwap Jin on the head and tell him to stop being a bully.
Later, in KAT-TUN’s dressing room, Jin confides in Ueda. “Ueda,” he murmurs as he stares at his hands like they are super killing death machines of brute force and evil, “maybe I’m actually a super villain after all.” Pause. Glance. “How do you live with it?”
Ueda glares and cracks his knuckles.
~~~~~
Later, Jin sulks down the hallways with an icepack on his face. “I must not even be a really cool super villain,” he mutters to himself darkly, “if the other super villains can beat me up so easy.”
~~~~~
After a week of Tegoshi bursting out into tears every single time he sees Jin, a state of emergency is declared amongst the agency and by popular vote, Jin is asked to please wear a pillowcase over his head whenever he is walking the hallways of the jimusho until Tegoshi can get over whatever horrible thing Jin has clearly done to him. Koki dutifully (gleefully) offers to make Jin this pillowcase mask to wear, and grabs a flowery one from home the very next day. He cuts slitted eyeholes into it for his groupmate, but in his excitement, forgets to make a breathing hole over the mouth and/or nose and Jin ends up getting dizzy a lot.
During spells of nausea induced by lack of oxygen, Jin wonders bleakly to himself about what awful things must have happened to him in his past super villain backstory to lead him down this path of darkness and wrongdoing.
It must have been particularly horrible, to make someone as cute as Tegoshi react like that just by seeing him.
~~~~~
“I,” Jin declares through his pillowcase the next day, “am clearly an extremely angsty bad guy.”
Kame sighs and tells everyone to just ignore him, because the last time they humored him even a little, a Batarang had ended up in Takki’s PDA and no one at Johnny’s was allowed to be happy for a week afterwards as punishment.
When none of his groupmates responds to his ardent declaration, Jin thinks that not only is he an extremely angsty super villain, he is clearly a loner super villain as well.
He finds an appropriately dark and isolated corner to sulk in.
~~~~~
Two days later, Tegoshi seems 100% recovered from the whole Penguin ordeal. It’s like nothing about being called that had ever really bothered him at all.
Jin, in the meantime, continues to stumble around in the hallways with a slightly damp pillowcase over his head.
“Tegorin,” Koyama poses cautiously that afternoon, when Tegoshi is humming happily to himself as he breezes through his psychology homework, “Tegorin, are you feeling better about everything that happened now?” He just has to make sure; otherwise he will worry even if Tegoshi seems fine.
Tegoshi, however, just blinks back at him. “Eh? Feeling better about what, Kei-chan?” he asks sweetly.
This is Shige’s cue to eye Tegoshi suspiciously. Something seems off about the atmosphere all of a sudden.
Koyama doesn’t notice though; he just keeps babbling. “Um, about the whole…Penguin thing. If you want to talk about it, ne… you know I’m always…”
Tegoshi beams at his groupmate. “Oh that! Don’t worry Kei-chan, I know that I’m definitely not fat or ugly or weird or stupid!” he chirps. “Since everyone said I wasn’t, and I really love everyone lots, ne. I have to believe in them and myself!”
Koyama nearly falls down in relief when he hears this. He is glad that Tegoshi bounces back quickly and that their member-ai has helped him through his tough times yet again. The oldest member is both touched and inspired by his Tegorin’s fortitude!
Shige, on the other hand, wonders if it had been a conscious omission on Tegoshi’s part just now when he forgot to add that he wasn’t evil either. The secretive smile on Tegoshi’s face seems to point to yes, and with that, the pieces all suddenly come together and Shige finally, finally fully understands what, exactly, has happened here now.
He almost, almost wants to call Tegoshi on it.
But considering what happened to Jin for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the kid last week, Shige wisely decides that he is better off just keeping his mouth shut on this one, because he doesn’t fancy having to wear a pillowcase on his head for the rest of the month too.
Sometimes he thinks that Tegoshi’s revenges can be truly terrifying.
END
EDITS PLZ.
Title: The Penguin’s Revenge
Universe: JE/KAT-TUN/NewS/K8
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, Jin (small appearances by KT-TUN and K8 members, as well as TOKIO and Kinki)
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack and stupidity; OOC?
Word Count: 2,693
Summary: In which Jin discovers that he is really a super villain and Tegoshi saves the day...for himself.
Dedication: konliza- I’M SORRY FOR HIJAKING YOUR UNIVERSE BUT I JUST REALLY REALLY WANTED TO FIND SOME WAY TO THANK YOU FOR WRITING ALL THOSE SIDE DRABBLES FOR ME AND THIS WAS SERIOUSLY ALL I COULD THINK OF. Yeah.
A/N: I bastardize other people’s genius. Go and read konliza’s BRILLIANT fic of utter hilarity entitled “WHACK! KA-POW! ZING!” RIGHT NOW. And ignore this fic plz.
Disclaimer: No harm is meant by this!
Distribution: Just lemme know.
Jin may have given up on BatJin in favor of Grey Renjaa at this point, but even still, Tegoshi can’t quite shake the feeling that Jin had cast him as the Penguin for a reason. Ueda as Poison Ivy was clearly because Ueda is pretty and evil and Yamapi as Batgirl had clearly been because he has large boobs and is bouncy, so Tegoshi can’t help but think that somewhere in his head, Jin thinks that Tegoshi is just like Penguin, all fat and ugly. And evil.
He can’t stop thinking about it, and as such, won’t stop bothering other people about it either.
“Ryo-tan, does this make me look fat?” he asks sadly one day, and timidly models his new stage costume for his solo during winter con.
Ryo looks incredulous. “What the hell. Of course it doesn’t. Stop being a retard.”
Tegoshi’s eyes start to tear, “Oh god, now I’m stupid too!” he mourns, and goes to curl up miserably on the couch.
Ryo stares.
~~~~~
“Kei-chan, am I ugly?” Tegoshi asks later, and tugs adorably on Koyama’s sleeve, looking up at the older boy with big eyes through long lashes.
Koyama blinks. “What? Why would you think that? Of course you’re not ugly, Tegorin.”
Tegoshi beams back at him. “Really?”
Koyama nods and ruffles Tegoshi’s hair. “Un. Now stop asking strange questions like that, ne?”
Tegoshi’s bottom lip suddenly quivers, “Oh no, does this mean everyone thinks I’m weird too?” he whimpers.
Koyama flails.
~~~~~
“Shige, am I…”
Shige cuts him off curtly. “I’m not taking any part in this, so don’t drag me into your problems.”
Tegoshi immediately starts to cry again; “Now Shige hates me! I must really be evil too!”
He flees to the bathroom.
Shige blinks.
After a second, Ryo starts throwing things at Shige’s head and calling him a douche bag. “I just got him to stop crying, you moron!”
~~~~~
“Alright,” Shige says irately some time later, while Massu is busy comforting Tegoshi in the bathroom, “this has got to stop.” He holds an ice pack to his temple and glares pointedly at Ryo.
“Agreed,” Ryo seconds, and throws something else at Shige’s head, just because.
Yamapi frowns; he looks very troubled by all of this. “But what can we do, ne. Penguin is fat and ugly and evil and Jin called Tegoshi that even though he’s not any of those things.”
Shige crosses his arms. “Well, then, we clearly need to talk to Jin.”
~~~~~
Jin, complete with grey jumpsuit and badly painted bicycle helmet, is forcibly dragged into NewS’s dressing room ten minutes later by an annoyed Yamapi and an even more annoyed Ryo. In the meantime, Massu, Shige, and Koyama all manage to slowly coax Tegoshi out of the bathroom with plenty of compliments and promises of play dates for the next ten weekends in a row. “C’mon, Tegorin,” Koyama pleads, “Akanishi-kun has something important to say to you.”
Jin isn’t sure what is going on as Yamapi and Ryo pull him into their dressing room and seat him on the couch, but he looks forward to his next challenge as the newest member of Kyuu Renjaa regardless of what it may be. Though he hopes it involves giant, transforming robots this time and not just getting Yokoyama drinks at the vending machine two floors down anymore.
“You are going to tell Tego-nyan that he is not fat or ugly or stupid or weird and that you’re just a dumbass who doesn’t think before saying things,” Ryo explains to him very slowly, and holds him to the couch by the collar. Pause. “Oh, and evil. You’re also going to tell him that he’s not evil either.”
Jin frowns, and just as Tegoshi walks into the room sniffling, says, “But we’re still going to fight evil right now, aren’t we?”
Tegoshi hears this and his lip starts to quiver again; he whirls around and retreats back into the bathroom shouting, “He’s here to vanquish me!” at the top of his lungs. Shige and Koyama don’t have any more free afternoons to bribe him back out with and Massu has disappeared, presumably to the vending machine two floors down.
Ryo snarls and smacks Jin’s helmet as all of his hopes for a peaceful winter concert tour are dashed. “I didn’t know you had enough free time to go around messing up other people’s group dynamics instead of just your own,” he growls at Jin, and kicks him in the shins when he remembers that the helmet is there for protection.
“You’re definitely better suited for the role of a villain than a hero,” Shige tells Jin with a pained sigh, and Jin pouts at them both.
Surprisingly, it is Massu on his way back from the vending machine with chocolate who puts two and two together when he hears this; he comes up with a brilliant solution.
~~~~~
Massu ambles quietly into the bathroom while everyone is yelling at Jin and makes his way to the very last stall, where he can hear a few pathetic sniffles. “Tesshi,” he starts, gently, and knocks on the door.
“Go away,” Tegoshi murmurs, “I’m fat and ugly and stupid and weird.” Pause. “And evil.”
Massu shakes his head even though Tegoshi can’t see it. “You’re not. I figured it all out, ne,” he starts.
A brief pause, and then a skeptical, “Really?”
“Yup! You missed it just now, but Shige just called Jin a villain, and villains are bad, right?”
“Un.”
“So if a villain says anything, and they’re bad, then it’s probably a lie, right? Since lying is bad too and villains like being bad.”
“…un.”
Massu is very pleased with his logic. “So if Jin is really the villain here and everything he says is a lie since that’s what villains do, if he calls you fat and ugly and stupid and weird, then you’re definitely not any of those things, right?”
Silence.
Oh yeah.
“Oh, and you’re also not evil either, ne,” Massu amends, when he realizes he forgot that last one for some reason.
How odd.
But he doesn’t have time to dwell on it, because a second later, he hears the bolt unlatch.
~~~~~
“But if Jin is really the evil one here,” Tegoshi whispers to Massu a few minutes later, “then shouldn’t we try to stop him?”
Massu blinks. “Eh?”
Tegoshi looks thoughtful; “What is the first thing someone does if they have to fight evil?” he asks.
Massu doesn’t really know where Tegoshi’s train of thought is headed, but he is used to that, so just goes along for the ride.
After a moment, Tegoshi knows exactly what he has to do and dutifully informs Massu about it too. “Massu,” he says, “Massu, I have to become a superhero and save the world from Jin!”
~~~~~
Massu’s eyes start to glaze over as Tegoshi explains the detailed plan to reveal the true nature of Evil!Jin to the world that he has come up with just now; Tegoshi says that maybe he’s not going to become a superhero for it exactly because he would look funny in tights. But he’ll become something close, like a secret agent. Secret agents are just like superheroes, but much cooler looking. And it will be perfect since they already know that all of NewS looks really good in suits.
“Yosh! This,” Tegoshi says, “will be a covert operation for a superhero secret agent!!”
Massu doesn’t know what the word covert means, but he’s glad Tesshi seems happy again, so he nods and smiles.
~~~~~
“You are going to go in there and apologize to him and say that everything you ever did in your life was a mistake. Especially calling him fat and ugly and weird and stupid.” Pause. “And evil,” Ryo snarls irately.
“When are we going to fight evil?” Jin whines. “Do we get a mecha?”
Ryo ignores him and they turn the corner to meet the rest of NewS, who are standing guard outside of their dressing room. “He’s inside,” Massu reports, just like Tesshi told him to do when he sees the two of them.
“Good.” Ryo finally lets go of Jin’s ear.
And then opens the door and promptly kicks him into the room.
They close the door and wait.
~~~~~
Jin blinks and finds Tegoshi sitting in the dressing room all by himself waiting for something; it’s a bit dim right now and the kid is sitting on the couch looking down at Jin as he’s sprawled out on the floor from Ryo-chan’s unnecessarily hard kick. For some reason, when Jin sees Tegoshi like that, his instincts tell him that this is very, very no good.
“Akanishi-kun,” Tegoshi says, and has big, sad eyes.
Kind of like Mumble, who is a penguin, who Jin had watched and then heard Tegoshi’s voice go with in Happy Feet (hence his motivation for casting Tegoshi as the Penguin). The math had really been very simple to Jin at the time, but now everyone seems displeased with his assessment.
He opens his mouth to say something about how he’s not wrong about it (he’s not sure what), but before he can, Tegoshi’s eyes start to water, his lip trembles, and after two-point-five seconds, he starts wailing at the top of his very powerful, non-smoking singer’s lungs.
Jin panics.
~~~~~
Ryo is the first one to storm into the room after the plaintive cries start; when he sees Tegoshi sitting on the couch in full-blown sobbing mode while Jin is running around flailing and shrieking, “Stop it!” at the kid, Ryo’s vision goes completely red for the next ten minutes.
Meanwhile, Koyama and Yamapi immediately run to Tegoshi’s side while Shige tries to figure out what is going on and Massu wonders if this is somehow, all part of that secret agent mission Tegoshi had been talking about earlier. As for Ryo, he already knows everything he needs to know about the situation and repeatedly punches Jin in the head while calling him names.
Jin is just very, very confused.
And very, very glad he still has his helmet on.
~~~~~
Later that week, when Yokoyama hears about the whole sordid affair from Ryo, he promptly takes offense (because he loves Tegoshi), and tells Jin right off that he officially can’t be Grey Renjaa because the job of the Eito Renjaa is to preserve friendship and decency and everything good in this world, which Tegoshi is obviously the adorable embodiment of. Jin has very clearly violated that rule, and now must be stripped of the rank they never really gave him in the first place anyway. “Your services of getting us snacks will be sorely missed,” Yoko adds, like an afterthought.
Jin whines and tries to explain his reasoning for the whole Penguin thing with Happy Feet again, but suddenly Tegoshi is there on Eito’s practice floor seemingly out of nowhere; he immediately sees Jin and hides behind Yoko and Murakami pathetically. His lip is trembling as he clings to Murakami’s side.
“We can’t have this happen whenever he comes to visit!” Yoko declares in high panic, and Murakami makes Jin hand in his grey helmet for good while the rest of Eito gently rubs Tegoshi’s back and tells him that everything will be all right.
“Oh god,” Jin frets, when he sees Tegoshi with tears in his eyes again, “Shige was right; maybe I really am a villain!!”
~~~~~
The next time they cross paths in the hallway Tegoshi immediately starts wailing out of nowhere; Jin stares in horror as senpai come running from every which direction at their baby chick’s cries of distress. TOKIO quickly pulls Tegoshi behind them protectively while Kinki thwap Jin on the head and tell him to stop being a bully.
Later, in KAT-TUN’s dressing room, Jin confides in Ueda. “Ueda,” he murmurs as he stares at his hands like they are super killing death machines of brute force and evil, “maybe I’m actually a super villain after all.” Pause. Glance. “How do you live with it?”
Ueda glares and cracks his knuckles.
~~~~~
Later, Jin sulks down the hallways with an icepack on his face. “I must not even be a really cool super villain,” he mutters to himself darkly, “if the other super villains can beat me up so easy.”
~~~~~
After a week of Tegoshi bursting out into tears every single time he sees Jin, a state of emergency is declared amongst the agency and by popular vote, Jin is asked to please wear a pillowcase over his head whenever he is walking the hallways of the jimusho until Tegoshi can get over whatever horrible thing Jin has clearly done to him. Koki dutifully (gleefully) offers to make Jin this pillowcase mask to wear, and grabs a flowery one from home the very next day. He cuts slitted eyeholes into it for his groupmate, but in his excitement, forgets to make a breathing hole over the mouth and/or nose and Jin ends up getting dizzy a lot.
During spells of nausea induced by lack of oxygen, Jin wonders bleakly to himself about what awful things must have happened to him in his past super villain backstory to lead him down this path of darkness and wrongdoing.
It must have been particularly horrible, to make someone as cute as Tegoshi react like that just by seeing him.
~~~~~
“I,” Jin declares through his pillowcase the next day, “am clearly an extremely angsty bad guy.”
Kame sighs and tells everyone to just ignore him, because the last time they humored him even a little, a Batarang had ended up in Takki’s PDA and no one at Johnny’s was allowed to be happy for a week afterwards as punishment.
When none of his groupmates responds to his ardent declaration, Jin thinks that not only is he an extremely angsty super villain, he is clearly a loner super villain as well.
He finds an appropriately dark and isolated corner to sulk in.
~~~~~
Two days later, Tegoshi seems 100% recovered from the whole Penguin ordeal. It’s like nothing about being called that had ever really bothered him at all.
Jin, in the meantime, continues to stumble around in the hallways with a slightly damp pillowcase over his head.
“Tegorin,” Koyama poses cautiously that afternoon, when Tegoshi is humming happily to himself as he breezes through his psychology homework, “Tegorin, are you feeling better about everything that happened now?” He just has to make sure; otherwise he will worry even if Tegoshi seems fine.
Tegoshi, however, just blinks back at him. “Eh? Feeling better about what, Kei-chan?” he asks sweetly.
This is Shige’s cue to eye Tegoshi suspiciously. Something seems off about the atmosphere all of a sudden.
Koyama doesn’t notice though; he just keeps babbling. “Um, about the whole…Penguin thing. If you want to talk about it, ne… you know I’m always…”
Tegoshi beams at his groupmate. “Oh that! Don’t worry Kei-chan, I know that I’m definitely not fat or ugly or weird or stupid!” he chirps. “Since everyone said I wasn’t, and I really love everyone lots, ne. I have to believe in them and myself!”
Koyama nearly falls down in relief when he hears this. He is glad that Tegoshi bounces back quickly and that their member-ai has helped him through his tough times yet again. The oldest member is both touched and inspired by his Tegorin’s fortitude!
Shige, on the other hand, wonders if it had been a conscious omission on Tegoshi’s part just now when he forgot to add that he wasn’t evil either. The secretive smile on Tegoshi’s face seems to point to yes, and with that, the pieces all suddenly come together and Shige finally, finally fully understands what, exactly, has happened here now.
He almost, almost wants to call Tegoshi on it.
But considering what happened to Jin for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the kid last week, Shige wisely decides that he is better off just keeping his mouth shut on this one, because he doesn’t fancy having to wear a pillowcase on his head for the rest of the month too.
Sometimes he thinks that Tegoshi’s revenges can be truly terrifying.
END
EDITS PLZ.