JE/NewS - "Six Fights Ryo Tries to Start in NewS (and One Fight He Starts in KAT-TUN)"
Title: Six Fights Ryo Tries to Start in NewS (and One Fight He Starts in KAT-TUN)
Universe: JE/NewS
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, KAT-TUN, and an appearance by Yokoyama
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack? OOC? Stupidity? THESE PEOPLE REALLY EXIST OH GOD.
Word Count: 2,978
Summary: Attempt one- Ryo tries to start one fight with each member of NewS (except for the part where he has to fight with someone twice).
Dedication: So I started this with the intent of making it Ann’s birthday fic, but it is definitely too RETARDED. LOL So I will dedicate it to Verizon, FOR PUTTING ME ON HOLD FOR THREE HOURS. It gave me the time to reread this and realize how bad it was, I guess.
A/N: Inspired by the Wink Up article translation Ann sent me (located here: http://ricci.bidan.de/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=773). RyoTegoShige are all sorts of awesome, even though I can’t seem to fight past my writer’s block to accurately portray how awesome they are. I’M SORRY THIS IS DUMB. I HAVEN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING IN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND IT SHOWS.
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
1. Shige
Ryo suddenly decides to pick a fight with Shige in the dressing room one afternoon, while the younger boy is busy trying to do Tegoshi’s hair for him. Ryo of course, is convinced that he is completely justified in picking a fight without any warning since he only does these types of things for the greater good of the group.
And because he told Wink Up that he would.
Besides, he feels that a good fight is exactly what NewS needs to bring the members closer together (as well as give Ryo an excuse to maybe punch something).
“For someone who had such shitty hair for such a long time you sure like playing around with everyone else’s,” Ryo says to Shige snidely as the taller boy works. “Does Tego-nyan know how dangerous letting you do this for him really is?”
But Shige doesn’t rise to the bait; instead he concentrates on gently pressing the flat iron against Tegoshi’s bangs. He slides it down the soft strands with a small puff of steam and flips his wrist a little towards the end, so that the hair will curl around Tegoshi’s face and stay out of his eyes while he is performing.
When Shige doesn’t say anything back to Ryo right away, Tegoshi looks like he is about to tilt his head to the side inquisitively and ask for the reason behind Ryo’s sudden meanness (though Tegoshi already suspects that it is indigestion).
But before he can budge, Shige quickly braces the side of the younger boy’s neck with his free hand and says, “Don’t move yet. I’m almost done.”
“Hai!” Tegoshi chirrups. He completely forgets about Ryo’s sudden meanness after that, since his hair is going to look really good once Shige is done with it and that’s exciting (even though Shige does his hair all the time).
Shige finally turns to Ryo after he finishes with Tegoshi’s bangs and calmly tells the older boy, “I’m not going to have a discussion about hair with someone who thought going blond with that complexion was a good idea. Twice.”
Ryo’s lip curls upwards nastily. “I looked good. If you ever look anything close to how good I looked…”
Shige sighs and does not appear nearly as annoyed or angry as he ought to, all things considered. Instead, he says, “Wasn’t Ueda-san blond for a really long time too? Maybe you two could start a club together. For people who make bad hair decisions and who must be a lot alike in other ways too. Then you could hang out with one another all the time like best friends.”
Ryo sputters.
In the meantime, Shige turns back to the vanity and moves the flat iron to the nape of Tegoshi’s neck. “Lean forward a little,” he instructs the younger boy.
“Hai!”
And Ryo discovers that he can’t even find anything to say back.
Probably because the image of hanging out with donkey-face in what precious little free time he actually has is too traumatizing for words. Ryo is so disgusted by the mere thought of it that all he ends up doing is glaring at Shige for a moment or two before silently storming out of the room.
Belatedly, he realizes that if he is going to start fights in NewS, he should probably warm up with someone who is not the smart one.
2. Masuda
“I’m really pissed at you right now,” Ryo growls at Masuda the next morning in the hallway, when they are on their way to dance practice.
The younger boy blinks and stops walking; he ends up blocking the doorway since he’s a genius like that. “E-eh? Why? Eh? Um…I… did I… is…” then he trials off and ends up fidgeting nervously instead of actually communicating with real words (which he sometimes does when he is flustered).
Ryo-naturally- gets impatient after about two milliseconds of waiting for Masuda to form his thoughts into coherent sentences and decides to fill in the blanks for the idiot for him, since he’s a nice guy like that.
He even makes sure to speak extra slowly.
“I am pissed at you because you look ridiculous. I really wish you’d either paint all of your goddamned nails or none of them at all-leaving half of them done like that makes you look like you forgot how many fingers you actually have. It’s ten, by the way, in case I’m wrong and yes, you really are that dumb and did forget how many fingers you have. If that’s so, then my bad for overestimating you; this argument is entirely my fault. That’s all.”
Massu blinks.
Ryo rolls his eyes and makes sure to roughly elbow past the younger boy on his way into the rehearsal room, just in case his slow-speaking explanation just now was not enough to clue Massu in to what is going on here (which, sadly, is entirely possible too).
He is pretty certain that at the very least, the shoving will work. Massu has to be an easier target to provoke than Shige is, after all. You know, since Shige is smart and Massu…really isn’t.
But when Ryo turns around again- ready for the younger boy to be following after him and demanding an explanation for the sudden attack- all he sees are a few really pathetic tears in the corner of Massu’s eyes.
“Break room…I’m going…” Massu sniffles, and then turns around and sulks out of the doorway with his head hanging.
Silence.
Then, “What happened?” Koyama asks worriedly from across the room, where he is doing stretches with Yamapi. His Koyamama senses must be tingling or something.
“Ryo-chan is having a fight!” Yamapi exclaims helpfully. Then he blinks. “Maybe?”
“E-eh?! You and Massu had a fight?” Koyama fusses at Ryo. He looks vaguely disapproving.
“No,” Ryo snarls in response. He somehow feels gipped when he says it, too.
“Oh,” Koyama breathes. “That’s good.” Relieved, he pats his chest a few times, like he is seventy years old and with a bad heart.
A few seconds later, Tegoshi comes into the room; he’s frowning and looking over his shoulder fretfully. “Massu was eating donuts when I saw him just now, but he still looked really depressed for some reason,” the youngest member reports to the others in a small, scared voice. “I wonder what’s wrong, ne?”
Yamapi and Koyama both look sideways at Ryo and don’t say anything (though Yamapi tsks a few times and Koyama wrings his hands).
Eventually, Ryo sighs grumpily. “Oh goddammit. Fine.”
He ends up buying Massu a candy bar later that day-for no particular reason, of course- and once he does, everything from the morning is promptly forgiven. Or more likely, completely forgotten.
Ryo thinks that next time he is going to pick a fight with someone who has a more willful constitution.
3. Tegoshi
“Tego-ny…er, Tegoshi!” Ryo barks at the younger boy a few days later, after the group has finished filming their second Abake segment on Shounen Club. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that on TV, you moron,” he scolds. “It’s irresponsible and gives everyone the wrong idea.”
Pause for effect. Sneer.
Then, the kicker.
“I mean, I would have expected that kind of rookie mistake from you four years ago, but if you’re still making it even now it really just means you haven’t grown up at all since then, doesn’t it?”
He waits for the indignant rage.
But Tegoshi just blinks back at him for a moment and seems completely unaffected by Ryo’s angry tone. “I shouldn’t say stuff like…what, exactly?” he asks pleasantly, and clearly has no idea what Ryo is talking about.
Ryo scowls. “Stuff like what you said about me earlier, you idiot! If you’re intimidated by me then say it to my face before you air it all out to the fans. That kind of passive-aggressive bullshit really pisses me off!”
“Eh? Then… does this mean that you’re mad at me right now?”
“Yes!”
Tegoshi tilts his head sideways and looks prettily thoughtful when he hears this. Then, after a moment or two, he smiles disarmingly. “Ah, I see! Jaa… next time I’ll be sure to talk to Ryo-tan first about it, okay? Though actually, I don’t think you’re scary at all! I just thought it would be a funny thing to say on TV!” he laughs.
Ryo blinks-this already isn’t going according to plan. He steps it up quickly.
“If apologies were enough then there wouldn’t be police, moron. The point is, you’re irresponsible and still a rookie and you haven’t gotten any better at all since you began working here. Don’t you feel ashamed of yourself even just a little bit for that? Repent over your shortcomings before you randomly give a half-hearted apology!”
C’mon, that has to get Tegoshi’s B-type blood boiling, right?
But the kid’s smile never falters. “Waah, Ryo-tan is really mad right now, ne?” he exclaims.
Ryo stares. He isn’t quite sure how he is supposed to react to that.
Then, “Yes I’m mad! I said this already. And you’re…an idiot. And the sweaters you put your girlie dog into are retarded too.”
Tegoshi laughs. “Yappari, Ryo-tan still has the same temper as always, ne? Ah, but this is something I love about Ryo-tan too.” Then he reaches out and actually takes the older boy’s hand in both of his. He looks up at Ryo with shimmering eyes.
Ryo sputters.
“After you calm down, we can talk together for a really long time about everything that you’re mad about, okay?” Tegoshi promises. “To do it when we’re both level-headed will be better for everyone, ne? That way we won’t say anything we regret or don’t mean and can work through our issues with confidence.”
“I mean every word of what I’m saying!” Ryo shouts. He sounds more bewildered than angry now, though.
Tegoshi, in the meantime, just hugs Ryo warmly. “Feel better quickly, ne?” he tells his friend. “When you do, you can come to my house and I’ll give you my entire day off to talk! About anything you like.”
Then he pats Ryo’s back and even kisses the older boy’s cheek. “Don’t be angry, Ryo-tan!” he prompts. “Smile, ne!”
“Um.”
“Be happy, ne!”
And Ryo’s shoulders slump a little when he hears this, because he can’t really do or say anything mean at all when Tegoshi is hugging him so warmly, even though he suspects that this is all the result of the kid’s psychology classes and that he is really the one who’s head is being messed with right now.
But ultimately, that’s his own fault anyway; he’d forgotten that Tegoshi is cute and smart and thus very hard to stay angry at (whether you are faking your anger at him or not).
This deadly combination of the kid’s two best traits is probably why no one has throttled him yet, despite the fact that he is kind of willful and very slightly obnoxious.
That kind of power is not something that Ryo thinks he can defeat on his own. Especially if management couldn’t do it first.
And truth be told, he’s starting to get a little disheartened with all of these failures in a row. Maybe he should give up on Tegoshi for now and pick an easy target instead.
4. Koyama
“Does it bother you that you’re not a really good at anything? Or that you’re not really good looking either? I mean…your face. It needs help.”
Koyama laughs nervously at Ryo’s assessment. “More tea?” he asks.
And Ryo has a headache. “Put the goddamned tea away, moron. I’m talking here.”
Koyama makes a startled noise in the back of his throat but ends up pouring Ryo another cup anyway. He nudges it across the table towards the younger boy like a peace offering. “Douzo.”
Ryo tries harder. “Also, you sing off-key during 90% of the live shows and when you dance it’s like a rag doll flailing its limbs aimlessly in the wind. Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Haha, it is like that, isn’t it? Ryo-chan is good at making vivid comparisons, ne? I’ll do by best to improve for next time.”
Then Koyama pours another cup of tea, this time for Yamapi, once Yamapi arrives. Even though Yamapi isn’t here yet. Koyama realizes this belatedly and frowns; he pulls out a pen from his pocket so that he can write Yamapi’s name on the cup, along with a heart and a smiley face and a note that says, “Enjoy, ne! From, Kei-chan!”
Ryo glares as Koyama writes. “You smell bad.”
“Ah! I’ll go take a shower right now.”
And then, once Koyama finishes writing, he obediently stands to go and take a shower, even though he is just going to get sweaty again because today is dance rehearsal.
He does it because he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone by smelling bad at the beginning of the day. That’s unpleasant, isn’t it?
“Give Yamapi that cup of tea for me when he arrives, ne, Ryo-chan?” Koyama calls over his shoulder as he heads for the locker room.
Ryo bangs his head against the table a few times.
And ends up spilling his own cup of tea all over himself.
5. Yamapi
Ryo tells himself that after four straight failures it is now time to go for what he knows will work no matter what. The tried and true method.
So he very grimly takes a tissue. And blows his nose into it.
Then, he throws the balled up tissue at Yamapi as hard as he can.
Yamapi blinks back at Ryo when it hits him in the chest. Then the tissue falls to the ground, and the moment it touches the floor, Ryo smirks and starts to count backwards from ten.
Or rather, he gets ready to run.
But then, when his count reaches two, Yamapi does something unexpected.
He smiles.
“Ne, Ryo-chan, are you feeling nostalgic all of a sudden?” Yamapi asks knowingly, and reaches out to poke the older boy in the cheek. “Hmm… then let’s have a sleep over at your place tonight then, ne? We’ll watch scary movies and eat popcorn and potato chips and reminisce together! Majide, I really want the Kansai flavored Calbee, ne!”
Then Yamapi pumps his fist in the air. “To our youths!”
Ryo stares at him.
He pumps his fist a few more times. “Youth, ne! Ryo-chan!”
After that, Ryo can only turn around and walk away.
Because right now, he has no words.
6. Tegoshi (2)
On his way to the bathroom after failing so miserably with Yamapi, Ryo runs into Tegoshi again.
“I hate you,” he tries, and might just be a tad bit desperate when he does.
Tegoshi laughs at him good naturedly. “Yappari… Ryo-tan is still angry, ne?”
Then he reaches out and pats Ryo’s shoulder; he tells him to cheer up again. “Smile, ne! We all love you!” he says, before he continues bouncing down the hallway, humming happily to himself the entire way.
Clearly, the self-centered one has decided to persist in being oblivious to Ryo’s needs.
“What the hell?!” Ryo snarls to himself, and can’t believe this shit. Honestly, how hard can it freaking be to start a fight in a goddamned boy band?
Pause.
Gulp.
“Don’t tell me…”
And he is absolutely horrified when he suddenly realizes that maybe he is losing his touch.
7. KAT-TUN
“Maybe you’re just losing your touch,” Yokoyama says sleepily over lunch the next day, after he listens to Ryo’s complaints about how no one is cooperating with his attempts to pick a fight in NewS.
“I did not lose my touch,” Ryo growls back indignantly. He fails to mention that he had feared the very same thing not twenty-four hours earlier.
“Oh.” Yokoyama pauses to blink. “But maybe you did.”
He yawns then, and Ryo-in his current insecure state-feels that under the weight of such a solid argument, maybe the older boy is right and he has lost his touch after all. If so, what is he going to do from here on out? It’s hard to be the Mean One in Johnny’s if no one is willing to fight with you.
After a moment, he sets his jaw stubbornly. “I did not lose my touch.” He couldn’t have, after all. He’s the Mean One! That is not something that just leaves you all of a sudden. Especially when he’d been so good at it for so long.
Yokoyama only shrugs. “If you say so.”
Ryo is resolute. “I’ll prove it.”
His bandmate blinks. “Uh oh?”
But it’s too late; Ryo is already standing and calling out across the cafeteria. “Akanishi,” he says, and flags Jin down as the older boy is preparing to eat lunch with Pi and Koki.
Jin waves back and looks confused. “Ryo-chan?”
“Yesterday I heard Kamenashi talking to the juniors about how he’d like to bang your mom. On account of his older woman fetish,” Ryo tells Jin, matter-of-factly.
Jin frowns.
Then, “I’m going to kill him,” he says, and makes a fist.
“Well, don’t do it until after the taping,” Koki warns him, absently.
Ryo hears this and smirks to himself; when he sits down again, he looks expectantly at Yokoyama.
“See? I did not lose it,” he declares, haughtily. Then he takes Yokoyama’s juice without asking just to punctuate his point.
The older boy sighs. “Uh…congrats, I guess.”
After lunch, when Ryo hears the sounds of shattering glass and supersonic shrieks coming from inside the KAT-TUN dressing room as he passes by it, he suddenly feels inexplicably better about everything that’s happened lately.
Because he realizes that maybe he doesn’t need to start any fights in NewS after all.
Not when it’s so much easier to just go ahead and start one in KAT-TUN instead.
END
EDITS YES.
Universe: JE/NewS
Theme/Topic: N/A
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing/s: NewS, KAT-TUN, and an appearance by Yokoyama
Warnings/Spoilers: Crack? OOC? Stupidity? THESE PEOPLE REALLY EXIST OH GOD.
Word Count: 2,978
Summary: Attempt one- Ryo tries to start one fight with each member of NewS (except for the part where he has to fight with someone twice).
Dedication: So I started this with the intent of making it Ann’s birthday fic, but it is definitely too RETARDED. LOL So I will dedicate it to Verizon, FOR PUTTING ME ON HOLD FOR THREE HOURS. It gave me the time to reread this and realize how bad it was, I guess.
A/N: Inspired by the Wink Up article translation Ann sent me (located here: http://ricci.bidan.de/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=773). RyoTegoShige are all sorts of awesome, even though I can’t seem to fight past my writer’s block to accurately portray how awesome they are. I’M SORRY THIS IS DUMB. I HAVEN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING IN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND IT SHOWS.
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
1. Shige
Ryo suddenly decides to pick a fight with Shige in the dressing room one afternoon, while the younger boy is busy trying to do Tegoshi’s hair for him. Ryo of course, is convinced that he is completely justified in picking a fight without any warning since he only does these types of things for the greater good of the group.
And because he told Wink Up that he would.
Besides, he feels that a good fight is exactly what NewS needs to bring the members closer together (as well as give Ryo an excuse to maybe punch something).
“For someone who had such shitty hair for such a long time you sure like playing around with everyone else’s,” Ryo says to Shige snidely as the taller boy works. “Does Tego-nyan know how dangerous letting you do this for him really is?”
But Shige doesn’t rise to the bait; instead he concentrates on gently pressing the flat iron against Tegoshi’s bangs. He slides it down the soft strands with a small puff of steam and flips his wrist a little towards the end, so that the hair will curl around Tegoshi’s face and stay out of his eyes while he is performing.
When Shige doesn’t say anything back to Ryo right away, Tegoshi looks like he is about to tilt his head to the side inquisitively and ask for the reason behind Ryo’s sudden meanness (though Tegoshi already suspects that it is indigestion).
But before he can budge, Shige quickly braces the side of the younger boy’s neck with his free hand and says, “Don’t move yet. I’m almost done.”
“Hai!” Tegoshi chirrups. He completely forgets about Ryo’s sudden meanness after that, since his hair is going to look really good once Shige is done with it and that’s exciting (even though Shige does his hair all the time).
Shige finally turns to Ryo after he finishes with Tegoshi’s bangs and calmly tells the older boy, “I’m not going to have a discussion about hair with someone who thought going blond with that complexion was a good idea. Twice.”
Ryo’s lip curls upwards nastily. “I looked good. If you ever look anything close to how good I looked…”
Shige sighs and does not appear nearly as annoyed or angry as he ought to, all things considered. Instead, he says, “Wasn’t Ueda-san blond for a really long time too? Maybe you two could start a club together. For people who make bad hair decisions and who must be a lot alike in other ways too. Then you could hang out with one another all the time like best friends.”
Ryo sputters.
In the meantime, Shige turns back to the vanity and moves the flat iron to the nape of Tegoshi’s neck. “Lean forward a little,” he instructs the younger boy.
“Hai!”
And Ryo discovers that he can’t even find anything to say back.
Probably because the image of hanging out with donkey-face in what precious little free time he actually has is too traumatizing for words. Ryo is so disgusted by the mere thought of it that all he ends up doing is glaring at Shige for a moment or two before silently storming out of the room.
Belatedly, he realizes that if he is going to start fights in NewS, he should probably warm up with someone who is not the smart one.
2. Masuda
“I’m really pissed at you right now,” Ryo growls at Masuda the next morning in the hallway, when they are on their way to dance practice.
The younger boy blinks and stops walking; he ends up blocking the doorway since he’s a genius like that. “E-eh? Why? Eh? Um…I… did I… is…” then he trials off and ends up fidgeting nervously instead of actually communicating with real words (which he sometimes does when he is flustered).
Ryo-naturally- gets impatient after about two milliseconds of waiting for Masuda to form his thoughts into coherent sentences and decides to fill in the blanks for the idiot for him, since he’s a nice guy like that.
He even makes sure to speak extra slowly.
“I am pissed at you because you look ridiculous. I really wish you’d either paint all of your goddamned nails or none of them at all-leaving half of them done like that makes you look like you forgot how many fingers you actually have. It’s ten, by the way, in case I’m wrong and yes, you really are that dumb and did forget how many fingers you have. If that’s so, then my bad for overestimating you; this argument is entirely my fault. That’s all.”
Massu blinks.
Ryo rolls his eyes and makes sure to roughly elbow past the younger boy on his way into the rehearsal room, just in case his slow-speaking explanation just now was not enough to clue Massu in to what is going on here (which, sadly, is entirely possible too).
He is pretty certain that at the very least, the shoving will work. Massu has to be an easier target to provoke than Shige is, after all. You know, since Shige is smart and Massu…really isn’t.
But when Ryo turns around again- ready for the younger boy to be following after him and demanding an explanation for the sudden attack- all he sees are a few really pathetic tears in the corner of Massu’s eyes.
“Break room…I’m going…” Massu sniffles, and then turns around and sulks out of the doorway with his head hanging.
Silence.
Then, “What happened?” Koyama asks worriedly from across the room, where he is doing stretches with Yamapi. His Koyamama senses must be tingling or something.
“Ryo-chan is having a fight!” Yamapi exclaims helpfully. Then he blinks. “Maybe?”
“E-eh?! You and Massu had a fight?” Koyama fusses at Ryo. He looks vaguely disapproving.
“No,” Ryo snarls in response. He somehow feels gipped when he says it, too.
“Oh,” Koyama breathes. “That’s good.” Relieved, he pats his chest a few times, like he is seventy years old and with a bad heart.
A few seconds later, Tegoshi comes into the room; he’s frowning and looking over his shoulder fretfully. “Massu was eating donuts when I saw him just now, but he still looked really depressed for some reason,” the youngest member reports to the others in a small, scared voice. “I wonder what’s wrong, ne?”
Yamapi and Koyama both look sideways at Ryo and don’t say anything (though Yamapi tsks a few times and Koyama wrings his hands).
Eventually, Ryo sighs grumpily. “Oh goddammit. Fine.”
He ends up buying Massu a candy bar later that day-for no particular reason, of course- and once he does, everything from the morning is promptly forgiven. Or more likely, completely forgotten.
Ryo thinks that next time he is going to pick a fight with someone who has a more willful constitution.
3. Tegoshi
“Tego-ny…er, Tegoshi!” Ryo barks at the younger boy a few days later, after the group has finished filming their second Abake segment on Shounen Club. “You shouldn’t say stuff like that on TV, you moron,” he scolds. “It’s irresponsible and gives everyone the wrong idea.”
Pause for effect. Sneer.
Then, the kicker.
“I mean, I would have expected that kind of rookie mistake from you four years ago, but if you’re still making it even now it really just means you haven’t grown up at all since then, doesn’t it?”
He waits for the indignant rage.
But Tegoshi just blinks back at him for a moment and seems completely unaffected by Ryo’s angry tone. “I shouldn’t say stuff like…what, exactly?” he asks pleasantly, and clearly has no idea what Ryo is talking about.
Ryo scowls. “Stuff like what you said about me earlier, you idiot! If you’re intimidated by me then say it to my face before you air it all out to the fans. That kind of passive-aggressive bullshit really pisses me off!”
“Eh? Then… does this mean that you’re mad at me right now?”
“Yes!”
Tegoshi tilts his head sideways and looks prettily thoughtful when he hears this. Then, after a moment or two, he smiles disarmingly. “Ah, I see! Jaa… next time I’ll be sure to talk to Ryo-tan first about it, okay? Though actually, I don’t think you’re scary at all! I just thought it would be a funny thing to say on TV!” he laughs.
Ryo blinks-this already isn’t going according to plan. He steps it up quickly.
“If apologies were enough then there wouldn’t be police, moron. The point is, you’re irresponsible and still a rookie and you haven’t gotten any better at all since you began working here. Don’t you feel ashamed of yourself even just a little bit for that? Repent over your shortcomings before you randomly give a half-hearted apology!”
C’mon, that has to get Tegoshi’s B-type blood boiling, right?
But the kid’s smile never falters. “Waah, Ryo-tan is really mad right now, ne?” he exclaims.
Ryo stares. He isn’t quite sure how he is supposed to react to that.
Then, “Yes I’m mad! I said this already. And you’re…an idiot. And the sweaters you put your girlie dog into are retarded too.”
Tegoshi laughs. “Yappari, Ryo-tan still has the same temper as always, ne? Ah, but this is something I love about Ryo-tan too.” Then he reaches out and actually takes the older boy’s hand in both of his. He looks up at Ryo with shimmering eyes.
Ryo sputters.
“After you calm down, we can talk together for a really long time about everything that you’re mad about, okay?” Tegoshi promises. “To do it when we’re both level-headed will be better for everyone, ne? That way we won’t say anything we regret or don’t mean and can work through our issues with confidence.”
“I mean every word of what I’m saying!” Ryo shouts. He sounds more bewildered than angry now, though.
Tegoshi, in the meantime, just hugs Ryo warmly. “Feel better quickly, ne?” he tells his friend. “When you do, you can come to my house and I’ll give you my entire day off to talk! About anything you like.”
Then he pats Ryo’s back and even kisses the older boy’s cheek. “Don’t be angry, Ryo-tan!” he prompts. “Smile, ne!”
“Um.”
“Be happy, ne!”
And Ryo’s shoulders slump a little when he hears this, because he can’t really do or say anything mean at all when Tegoshi is hugging him so warmly, even though he suspects that this is all the result of the kid’s psychology classes and that he is really the one who’s head is being messed with right now.
But ultimately, that’s his own fault anyway; he’d forgotten that Tegoshi is cute and smart and thus very hard to stay angry at (whether you are faking your anger at him or not).
This deadly combination of the kid’s two best traits is probably why no one has throttled him yet, despite the fact that he is kind of willful and very slightly obnoxious.
That kind of power is not something that Ryo thinks he can defeat on his own. Especially if management couldn’t do it first.
And truth be told, he’s starting to get a little disheartened with all of these failures in a row. Maybe he should give up on Tegoshi for now and pick an easy target instead.
4. Koyama
“Does it bother you that you’re not a really good at anything? Or that you’re not really good looking either? I mean…your face. It needs help.”
Koyama laughs nervously at Ryo’s assessment. “More tea?” he asks.
And Ryo has a headache. “Put the goddamned tea away, moron. I’m talking here.”
Koyama makes a startled noise in the back of his throat but ends up pouring Ryo another cup anyway. He nudges it across the table towards the younger boy like a peace offering. “Douzo.”
Ryo tries harder. “Also, you sing off-key during 90% of the live shows and when you dance it’s like a rag doll flailing its limbs aimlessly in the wind. Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Haha, it is like that, isn’t it? Ryo-chan is good at making vivid comparisons, ne? I’ll do by best to improve for next time.”
Then Koyama pours another cup of tea, this time for Yamapi, once Yamapi arrives. Even though Yamapi isn’t here yet. Koyama realizes this belatedly and frowns; he pulls out a pen from his pocket so that he can write Yamapi’s name on the cup, along with a heart and a smiley face and a note that says, “Enjoy, ne! From, Kei-chan!”
Ryo glares as Koyama writes. “You smell bad.”
“Ah! I’ll go take a shower right now.”
And then, once Koyama finishes writing, he obediently stands to go and take a shower, even though he is just going to get sweaty again because today is dance rehearsal.
He does it because he doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone by smelling bad at the beginning of the day. That’s unpleasant, isn’t it?
“Give Yamapi that cup of tea for me when he arrives, ne, Ryo-chan?” Koyama calls over his shoulder as he heads for the locker room.
Ryo bangs his head against the table a few times.
And ends up spilling his own cup of tea all over himself.
5. Yamapi
Ryo tells himself that after four straight failures it is now time to go for what he knows will work no matter what. The tried and true method.
So he very grimly takes a tissue. And blows his nose into it.
Then, he throws the balled up tissue at Yamapi as hard as he can.
Yamapi blinks back at Ryo when it hits him in the chest. Then the tissue falls to the ground, and the moment it touches the floor, Ryo smirks and starts to count backwards from ten.
Or rather, he gets ready to run.
But then, when his count reaches two, Yamapi does something unexpected.
He smiles.
“Ne, Ryo-chan, are you feeling nostalgic all of a sudden?” Yamapi asks knowingly, and reaches out to poke the older boy in the cheek. “Hmm… then let’s have a sleep over at your place tonight then, ne? We’ll watch scary movies and eat popcorn and potato chips and reminisce together! Majide, I really want the Kansai flavored Calbee, ne!”
Then Yamapi pumps his fist in the air. “To our youths!”
Ryo stares at him.
He pumps his fist a few more times. “Youth, ne! Ryo-chan!”
After that, Ryo can only turn around and walk away.
Because right now, he has no words.
6. Tegoshi (2)
On his way to the bathroom after failing so miserably with Yamapi, Ryo runs into Tegoshi again.
“I hate you,” he tries, and might just be a tad bit desperate when he does.
Tegoshi laughs at him good naturedly. “Yappari… Ryo-tan is still angry, ne?”
Then he reaches out and pats Ryo’s shoulder; he tells him to cheer up again. “Smile, ne! We all love you!” he says, before he continues bouncing down the hallway, humming happily to himself the entire way.
Clearly, the self-centered one has decided to persist in being oblivious to Ryo’s needs.
“What the hell?!” Ryo snarls to himself, and can’t believe this shit. Honestly, how hard can it freaking be to start a fight in a goddamned boy band?
Pause.
Gulp.
“Don’t tell me…”
And he is absolutely horrified when he suddenly realizes that maybe he is losing his touch.
7. KAT-TUN
“Maybe you’re just losing your touch,” Yokoyama says sleepily over lunch the next day, after he listens to Ryo’s complaints about how no one is cooperating with his attempts to pick a fight in NewS.
“I did not lose my touch,” Ryo growls back indignantly. He fails to mention that he had feared the very same thing not twenty-four hours earlier.
“Oh.” Yokoyama pauses to blink. “But maybe you did.”
He yawns then, and Ryo-in his current insecure state-feels that under the weight of such a solid argument, maybe the older boy is right and he has lost his touch after all. If so, what is he going to do from here on out? It’s hard to be the Mean One in Johnny’s if no one is willing to fight with you.
After a moment, he sets his jaw stubbornly. “I did not lose my touch.” He couldn’t have, after all. He’s the Mean One! That is not something that just leaves you all of a sudden. Especially when he’d been so good at it for so long.
Yokoyama only shrugs. “If you say so.”
Ryo is resolute. “I’ll prove it.”
His bandmate blinks. “Uh oh?”
But it’s too late; Ryo is already standing and calling out across the cafeteria. “Akanishi,” he says, and flags Jin down as the older boy is preparing to eat lunch with Pi and Koki.
Jin waves back and looks confused. “Ryo-chan?”
“Yesterday I heard Kamenashi talking to the juniors about how he’d like to bang your mom. On account of his older woman fetish,” Ryo tells Jin, matter-of-factly.
Jin frowns.
Then, “I’m going to kill him,” he says, and makes a fist.
“Well, don’t do it until after the taping,” Koki warns him, absently.
Ryo hears this and smirks to himself; when he sits down again, he looks expectantly at Yokoyama.
“See? I did not lose it,” he declares, haughtily. Then he takes Yokoyama’s juice without asking just to punctuate his point.
The older boy sighs. “Uh…congrats, I guess.”
After lunch, when Ryo hears the sounds of shattering glass and supersonic shrieks coming from inside the KAT-TUN dressing room as he passes by it, he suddenly feels inexplicably better about everything that’s happened lately.
Because he realizes that maybe he doesn’t need to start any fights in NewS after all.
Not when it’s so much easier to just go ahead and start one in KAT-TUN instead.
END
EDITS YES.