Bleach- "For Luck"
Title: For Luck
Universe: Bleach
Theme/Topic: Baths
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: Yachiru, Nemu, Mayuri
Warnings/Spoilers: Just um, slight spoilers as to what happens to Mayuri after he loses. XD Also, OOC to the max.
Word Count: 1,217
Summary: Yachiru enforces some New Year’s superstitions.
Dedication: shinigamikender’s request on my V-day/New Year’s thread!
A/N: This is sort of an indirect tie-in with my Christmas gift for Shini (entitled “What’s This?”), though you don’t need to read that first because this won’t make sense either way. XD Also, Nemu is a ads;fjlewriodf pain in my ass to write. It’s like trying to make a robot funny. I’M SORRY. *dies*
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
After the whole Christmas fiasco where she’d shamelessly gone around demanding gifts from everyone and their uncle, no one was particularly surprised when, on New Years, Yachiru went around visiting everyone and their uncle again, only this time asking for money envelopes.
“It’s for luck!” she declared brightly, and did a couple of cute bows that mostly got her what she wanted anyway. Besides, to her, getting a 100 yen from someone in a pretty paper envelope was just as good as getting 10000, so long as the New Years spirit was there. As such, no one really had a problem sparing her that, she was so enthusiastic.
But as there had been at Christmas, there were a certain few people (person, really) who didn’t have a celebratory bone in their body (or as he called it, the energy to indulge spoiled little girls their money-grubbing, superstitious delusions).
And thus, Yachiru arrived- once again- at the rather imposing gates of the twelfth division headquarters.
When she knocked at the door the twelfth division vice-captain answered, bowing politely. “I’m sorry, fukutaichou,” Nemu said, voice flat, “but Mayuri-sama is currently indisposed.”
Yachiru pouted. “Ya threw him away? I know he was a rotten-Rob, but that’s just not nice. ‘Specially on New Years.”
Nemu blinked. “I…”
“Well, it’s okay I guess. I’ll just go find him’n fish him outta the garbage before he gets even stinkier than normal. I’m sure he’ll forgive ya.”
Nemu blinked again. “Mayuri-sama is currently taking a bath. Once he emerges I’m certain his odor will be acceptable to you, but until then he does not wish to be disturbed.”
Yachiru stared up at her.
And looked absolutely horrified.
“He’s takin’ a bath?! Right now? Today?” the little vice-captain breathed, wide-eyed. “But it’s New Year’s!!!”
Before Nemu could inquire as to the relationship of those two very different factoids, Yachiru was off, darting past her and into the long corridors of the twelfth division’s main building with an amazing sense of urgency about her.
“He really doesn’t know anythin’!!” the little vice-captain lamented as she dashed around the corner so quickly that Nemu had to step into shunpo (indoors) just to keep up.
“Kusajishi-fukutaichou,” she began, “please don’t run inside the hallways, it’s quite dangerous…”
“BOZO-FACE!” Yachiru shouted, unmindful of Nemu’s quiet requests as she slammed through every door to every room in the hallway. “BOZO-FACE, WHERE ARE YA?!”
Predictably, no response.
But she ended up finding the door that was marked with the washroom sign anyway, and without so much as a knock, quickly burst through it (consequently shattering the lock as she did). “BOZO-FACE YOU CAN’T CLEAN ANYTHIN’ ON NEW YEARS DAY OR YOU’LL WASH AWAY ALL YOUR LUCK FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!” she bellowed without delay, only to come to a screeching halt when she realized that the bathroom was actually very empty.
She blinked.
Only a second behind her, Nemu arrived tentatively in the doorway.
“He’s not in here!” Yachiru bemoaned. “I thought you said he was takin’ a bath?”
The twelfth division vice-captain, a bit short on breath, took a moment to survey the room.
And there, in the bathtub, she spied a viscous, slightly murky-looking substance that was most definitely not all bathwater.
Nemu quickly averted her eyes from the sight, turning to stare at the ground between her feet instead. “Fukutaichou. Right now Mayuri-sama is…”
The fluid inside of the tub quivered once, menacingly.
Nemu swallowed. “I mean… I must have been mistaken,” she amended, dutifully. “About the bath.”
Yachiru blinked. “Well, good. Even I don’t think Bozo-face is stupid enough to clean anythin’ on New Years day even if he does smell like the stuff people scrub toilets with.” She paused, frowned. “Well, maybe not dumb enough.”
The fluid seemed indignant.
“Mayuri-sama is very smart,” Nemu felt the need to say.
Yachiru shrugged. “If you say so,” she capitulated, before noticing the fluid in the bathtub herself. “Hey! Maybe he did take a bath and now he’s done! Lookit!”
Nemu did her very best to not look, and then pretend as if she had. “Yes?”
“This water’s all nasty!” Yachiru exclaimed, bending over the rim of the tub and staring down at the murky mix with something like horrified fascination. “It’s like someone blew their nose in it and stirred it all up!”
Nemu winced.
Yachiru, oblivious, wrinkled her nose and pulled away from her examination of the basin. “It smells stinky too. Like Bozo-face if he were a wet dog instead of just Bozo-face.”
The liquid rolled, and Nemu thought it was a lot more reminiscent of a bristling cat than a dog. Only in goo form.
“Perhaps we should go,” she suggested after a moment. “Mayuri-sama might be… elsewhere in the compound?”
Yachiru looked severe. “Well first I better head back’n ask Ikkaku what you’re supposed to do if someone who’s kinda dumb takes a bath on New Year’s,” she suggested with a tired little sigh. “What would Bozo-face do without me? First he don’t know nothin’ about Christmas and now New Years too?”
Nemu blinked, suddenly inspired. “In that case perhaps it would be best for you to go quickly. I’m sure Madarame-sanseki will know exactly what to do to…fix the problem.”
Yachiru grinned and nodded. “Yup! He’s the most superstitious guy in the universe! He cleaned the whole headquarters yesterday! And did his luck dance in every room!” Pause. “Hey!” she declared, suddenly inspired herself. “Maybe if we get Bozo-face to do baldie’s luck-luck dance it’ll bring back all the good luck he washed away!”
The water shuddered.
Nemu was inclined to agree with it.
“I’ll go ask him!” Yachiru decided without waiting for an answer from Nemu, tossing one last look at the stinky steaming goo in the bathtub as she made her way to the door. “And even if that stuff’s nasty, don’t clean it out yet, ‘kay? We don’t want you to be unlucky too.”
“I won’t touch it,” Nemu promised, solemn.
“Great! Back in a jiff!”
And then the tiny vice-captain was darting off again, buoyed by the prospect of recharging Kurotsuchi Mayuri’s bad luck with a ridiculous dance and some chanting.
Nemu watched her go, feeling very oddly relieved.
And then, after a very long moment, the water in the bathtub began to quiver and swirl, slowly, slowly rising up to take solid form.
“Is she gone?” the liquid burbled, distastefully.
Nemu bowed at the inquiry, casting her eyes downward. “Yes, Mayuri-sama.”
He sighed at the news, sounding very suspiciously relieved, even only half-solidified as he was. “Good.”
“But she intends to return soon,” Nemu reminded him, ever faithful. “With dance.”
The water abruptly ceased its metamorphosis, shuddering all throughout its mass. “Oh yes,” Mayuri hissed. “Dance.”
And then, slowly, slowly, he began to lose his form again.
“If anyone asks,” he began.
“I have not seen you,” Nemu finished for him, watching silently by as the viscous fluid settled back into the tub with a wet, sticky quiver. She bowed and quietly left the room.
Once outside, the twelfth division vice-captain left a note on the door instructing anyone who happened to come by to please refrain from draining the water in the tub, as dirty as it might have appeared.
She cited bad luck as the reason.
END
EDITS PLZ.
Universe: Bleach
Theme/Topic: Baths
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character/s: Yachiru, Nemu, Mayuri
Warnings/Spoilers: Just um, slight spoilers as to what happens to Mayuri after he loses. XD Also, OOC to the max.
Word Count: 1,217
Summary: Yachiru enforces some New Year’s superstitions.
Dedication: shinigamikender’s request on my V-day/New Year’s thread!
A/N: This is sort of an indirect tie-in with my Christmas gift for Shini (entitled “What’s This?”), though you don’t need to read that first because this won’t make sense either way. XD Also, Nemu is a ads;fjlewriodf pain in my ass to write. It’s like trying to make a robot funny. I’M SORRY. *dies*
Disclaimer: Not mine, though I wish constantly.
Distribution: Just lemme know.
After the whole Christmas fiasco where she’d shamelessly gone around demanding gifts from everyone and their uncle, no one was particularly surprised when, on New Years, Yachiru went around visiting everyone and their uncle again, only this time asking for money envelopes.
“It’s for luck!” she declared brightly, and did a couple of cute bows that mostly got her what she wanted anyway. Besides, to her, getting a 100 yen from someone in a pretty paper envelope was just as good as getting 10000, so long as the New Years spirit was there. As such, no one really had a problem sparing her that, she was so enthusiastic.
But as there had been at Christmas, there were a certain few people (person, really) who didn’t have a celebratory bone in their body (or as he called it, the energy to indulge spoiled little girls their money-grubbing, superstitious delusions).
And thus, Yachiru arrived- once again- at the rather imposing gates of the twelfth division headquarters.
When she knocked at the door the twelfth division vice-captain answered, bowing politely. “I’m sorry, fukutaichou,” Nemu said, voice flat, “but Mayuri-sama is currently indisposed.”
Yachiru pouted. “Ya threw him away? I know he was a rotten-Rob, but that’s just not nice. ‘Specially on New Years.”
Nemu blinked. “I…”
“Well, it’s okay I guess. I’ll just go find him’n fish him outta the garbage before he gets even stinkier than normal. I’m sure he’ll forgive ya.”
Nemu blinked again. “Mayuri-sama is currently taking a bath. Once he emerges I’m certain his odor will be acceptable to you, but until then he does not wish to be disturbed.”
Yachiru stared up at her.
And looked absolutely horrified.
“He’s takin’ a bath?! Right now? Today?” the little vice-captain breathed, wide-eyed. “But it’s New Year’s!!!”
Before Nemu could inquire as to the relationship of those two very different factoids, Yachiru was off, darting past her and into the long corridors of the twelfth division’s main building with an amazing sense of urgency about her.
“He really doesn’t know anythin’!!” the little vice-captain lamented as she dashed around the corner so quickly that Nemu had to step into shunpo (indoors) just to keep up.
“Kusajishi-fukutaichou,” she began, “please don’t run inside the hallways, it’s quite dangerous…”
“BOZO-FACE!” Yachiru shouted, unmindful of Nemu’s quiet requests as she slammed through every door to every room in the hallway. “BOZO-FACE, WHERE ARE YA?!”
Predictably, no response.
But she ended up finding the door that was marked with the washroom sign anyway, and without so much as a knock, quickly burst through it (consequently shattering the lock as she did). “BOZO-FACE YOU CAN’T CLEAN ANYTHIN’ ON NEW YEARS DAY OR YOU’LL WASH AWAY ALL YOUR LUCK FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!” she bellowed without delay, only to come to a screeching halt when she realized that the bathroom was actually very empty.
She blinked.
Only a second behind her, Nemu arrived tentatively in the doorway.
“He’s not in here!” Yachiru bemoaned. “I thought you said he was takin’ a bath?”
The twelfth division vice-captain, a bit short on breath, took a moment to survey the room.
And there, in the bathtub, she spied a viscous, slightly murky-looking substance that was most definitely not all bathwater.
Nemu quickly averted her eyes from the sight, turning to stare at the ground between her feet instead. “Fukutaichou. Right now Mayuri-sama is…”
The fluid inside of the tub quivered once, menacingly.
Nemu swallowed. “I mean… I must have been mistaken,” she amended, dutifully. “About the bath.”
Yachiru blinked. “Well, good. Even I don’t think Bozo-face is stupid enough to clean anythin’ on New Years day even if he does smell like the stuff people scrub toilets with.” She paused, frowned. “Well, maybe not dumb enough.”
The fluid seemed indignant.
“Mayuri-sama is very smart,” Nemu felt the need to say.
Yachiru shrugged. “If you say so,” she capitulated, before noticing the fluid in the bathtub herself. “Hey! Maybe he did take a bath and now he’s done! Lookit!”
Nemu did her very best to not look, and then pretend as if she had. “Yes?”
“This water’s all nasty!” Yachiru exclaimed, bending over the rim of the tub and staring down at the murky mix with something like horrified fascination. “It’s like someone blew their nose in it and stirred it all up!”
Nemu winced.
Yachiru, oblivious, wrinkled her nose and pulled away from her examination of the basin. “It smells stinky too. Like Bozo-face if he were a wet dog instead of just Bozo-face.”
The liquid rolled, and Nemu thought it was a lot more reminiscent of a bristling cat than a dog. Only in goo form.
“Perhaps we should go,” she suggested after a moment. “Mayuri-sama might be… elsewhere in the compound?”
Yachiru looked severe. “Well first I better head back’n ask Ikkaku what you’re supposed to do if someone who’s kinda dumb takes a bath on New Year’s,” she suggested with a tired little sigh. “What would Bozo-face do without me? First he don’t know nothin’ about Christmas and now New Years too?”
Nemu blinked, suddenly inspired. “In that case perhaps it would be best for you to go quickly. I’m sure Madarame-sanseki will know exactly what to do to…fix the problem.”
Yachiru grinned and nodded. “Yup! He’s the most superstitious guy in the universe! He cleaned the whole headquarters yesterday! And did his luck dance in every room!” Pause. “Hey!” she declared, suddenly inspired herself. “Maybe if we get Bozo-face to do baldie’s luck-luck dance it’ll bring back all the good luck he washed away!”
The water shuddered.
Nemu was inclined to agree with it.
“I’ll go ask him!” Yachiru decided without waiting for an answer from Nemu, tossing one last look at the stinky steaming goo in the bathtub as she made her way to the door. “And even if that stuff’s nasty, don’t clean it out yet, ‘kay? We don’t want you to be unlucky too.”
“I won’t touch it,” Nemu promised, solemn.
“Great! Back in a jiff!”
And then the tiny vice-captain was darting off again, buoyed by the prospect of recharging Kurotsuchi Mayuri’s bad luck with a ridiculous dance and some chanting.
Nemu watched her go, feeling very oddly relieved.
And then, after a very long moment, the water in the bathtub began to quiver and swirl, slowly, slowly rising up to take solid form.
“Is she gone?” the liquid burbled, distastefully.
Nemu bowed at the inquiry, casting her eyes downward. “Yes, Mayuri-sama.”
He sighed at the news, sounding very suspiciously relieved, even only half-solidified as he was. “Good.”
“But she intends to return soon,” Nemu reminded him, ever faithful. “With dance.”
The water abruptly ceased its metamorphosis, shuddering all throughout its mass. “Oh yes,” Mayuri hissed. “Dance.”
And then, slowly, slowly, he began to lose his form again.
“If anyone asks,” he began.
“I have not seen you,” Nemu finished for him, watching silently by as the viscous fluid settled back into the tub with a wet, sticky quiver. She bowed and quietly left the room.
Once outside, the twelfth division vice-captain left a note on the door instructing anyone who happened to come by to please refrain from draining the water in the tub, as dirty as it might have appeared.
She cited bad luck as the reason.
END
EDITS PLZ.