(no subject)
the letter that may never be seen.
♥ hello, my dearest aquaintance.
she's stolden my bestest friend. and i miss you lots. and now, we stand alone. the memories that scream through your pretty blue eyes are unbelievable. and i hate it. i might hate her more, though. but, i can't really distinguish between my jealosy and my.."deteste" for your girlfriend. damnit. where the hell are you? pain, pain, jealosy, pain. it just doesn't add up. you told me that you had talked to her about "taking you away from your friends". she obviously didn't listen. guess her ears were covered up with that hat. the one that matches her scarf..that matches her sweater..that matches her socks. if she carried a handbag, it bet it would complete her outfit. pooh. she's fashionably sensable. and fashionably senseless. when you lie to me, leave and then i see you with her, i want to rip a strand of hair from her pretty head. i want to smear her make-up, and burn her hat-scarf-sweater-socks-handbag? i want to start a fire that will burn your togetherness down. down, down, down to the ground until your togetherness has become no more. no more 'happy couple'. your friends aren't happy. we either deteste your "relationship", or are completly jealous of your girlfriend. one of which, we can't decide. after i wasted my breath, went out of my way to stop you from becoming another adam pearce, to stop you from getting caught in this situation, to protect you from getting shit on by your friends, you went and completly ignored my warnings. you've decided to walk your path alone. well..technically, you're not alone. you've got your girlfriend. it's sad - i'm pathetic. and i can't say any of this to your face. perhaps, you'll stumble across this somehow. a part of me wishes i could talk to you again. but i guess i'll have to wait. wait until the break-up, when you come crawling back to your friends and we take you back, your pitiful cries of shame and apologies. i hope you do come crawling back. i know that i'd forguive you..well, eventually anyway. but, like a pack of wolves, one isn't as forgiving as the next may be. but i know that most will be. because most are in the same position as i am, with the same views and opinions and tiny voice, too scared to be heard.
..i guess i don't stand alone.
to everyone else, hi. i'm okay. needed to get that out. most of you don't get it. a few of you might. getting ditched by your best friend because he now has a girlfriend - not a nice feeling. Christmas is coming soon, which makes me happy, and scares me to death. January is also coming soon. soon i'll muster up the courage to tell you about January. and to tell you how i'm going to be wrong, going to live on and laugh at myself in the future. i hope and i pray that in February i'll bring it up, and laugh some more. oh well. Tomorrow, we compete in the Improv Olympics. that makes me so happy, i love it. and i'm good..not to be..cocky. but i am. for my entire life, humor has been my thing. i love getting complemented on it, and i love making people laugh. today Steve lethbridge told me that i was hilarious, and that he loved it, and that he'd never known how funny i was. he told me i was awesome and that i did great in our performance on friday. it made me feel so good. i loved it. so, to steve, if you ever come across this, you made my shitty day really, really great by saying those things. and i know they were simple, and i know that you probablky didn't mean them to be taken lie this, but i don't get compliments too often. and this one struck me as being especially nice and i loved it. thank you.
*sigh*
if you've read all of this, thanks. it means something. i like it.
remember that friend that ditched me for his gal? he just IM'd me. we'll see how this turns out. maybe he really will see that letter.
<3.
richelle.