i backed my car into a cop car the other day.
he just drove off; sometimes, life's okay..
♥ mroawl.
i don't remember the last time i got a comment on here. but i guess that's not what i'm writing for. things are screwed up. friends are distant and i can't stop them in this mindset. the future's slowly approaching and i'm not prepared to make big decisions just yet. i seemingly can't grasp the things i want, and i can't let go of the things i hate. the only thing that i've decided about life is that i'm not going to be a slave to a clock, and i'm not going to dedicate myself to something that i hate. i want to see as much of this beautiful, fucked up world as i can, and experience whatever i can touch and feel and taste along the way. i'm not sure how to go about doing that. but i want to.
the boy seems to have departed, and returned to his roots; stupid, slender, and oh-so-annoying. so, while he's playing with the nicest, sweetest girls on earth, i'm left here to count the snowflakes until they get boyfriends, and this messed-up cycle starts alllll over again. le sigh.
my birthday's on saturday. i feel like that's going to be a lonely occasion. the only person that really knows is shauna, and she remembered it on her own. i was so happy. anyway, what i'd love more than anything would be to gather kids that i love and watch porn and drink and smoke and shoot off fireworks. and the people that i want to be there the most, can't & won't be, and it will be the same old crowd of friends, and the same old crowd of not-so-friends. i would really, really love to see shauna, hope, claire, steve, fran, frank, and butler, mandy, kim, robyn, vikki, and jordan, all of whom i've fallen in love with, even more, again. oh, and a few more of the usuals. several can actually attend, and the others are just my ..hopefuls. my impossible hopefuls. yes, i feel like these people are completely capable of cheering me up. i'd love that; i need that. i do. i just wish things were easier sometimes.
anyway, it's late and i'm rambling to an empty audience. guess i should be thankful that i can still ramble.
«3. richelle.