the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewed across a big blanket..
here in west palm once again. its 12:40 west palm time.. 11:40 destin time. and im not exactly sure what place i want to be. my mind changes a thousand times in a day. always leaving me stranded. i can never seem to figure me out anymore. im not sure that i ever will... i just know that i can usually understand more to me than i can right now. obviously ive got way too much wondering around in that brain of mine. that always causes the usualy chaotic thoughts and senseless worries. im starting to wonder how much things are going to change.. and how much things will get better. how will i be able to tell when things are done getting better? im sitting up, barely awake avoiding sleep for the time being. it doesnt seem to intrest me in the least. im just awake to wait for a call from my good friend julie. ive seen soo much in her lately. she knows exactly how i feel right now. we're kinda in the same situation with a lot of things. and i see her more and more as a true best friend. shes always there.. no matter what. i dunno. i mean i have a best friend and all. its just right now im loving the fact that someone cares like i do. julie does. what a great person she is.
i got baptised on sunday. im not exactly sure how i feel about it all either. like ill be in the church environment.. thinking to myself how good i feel now that ive done something such as this.. and how i feel good that i go to church and have a pretty involved christian family. but then ill find myself telling others i dont like the situation. once again...my confusing self.
i dont know how much longer i can stay awake. im falling asleep and all i can think about is where im going to sleep tonite
things are so weird here. it was so awkward coming and driving up with my dad and stepmom. usually ill do stuff like take a road trip with my mom and my brother and sister. ive been going through this all for a year now..yet i still havent gotten used to it all yet. maybe because im still being pulled in between two places. hard enough to handle. very hard for me emotionally.
know what i hate. how i deal with things. and how emo i am about practically everything. i seem to let wayyy too much get to me ande well it just makes me look like such a little fucker. lol. it just gets on peoples nerves.
i kinda see why heather and rachel were best friends. and so does heather. i kinda see them becoming best friends again. who knows. they both just have these funny personalities. although rachel is a lot crazier. they just like doing a lot of the same things.. and have alot of the same views on things. who knows.
its 11:51 destin time. please julie call me. i gave up on waiting for anyone else but her. shes the only one remotley caring right now.
i guess im gonna go hit the couch and lay down for a bit next to my phone.
why the fuck is life so gosh damn complicated?
i got baptised on sunday. im not exactly sure how i feel about it all either. like ill be in the church environment.. thinking to myself how good i feel now that ive done something such as this.. and how i feel good that i go to church and have a pretty involved christian family. but then ill find myself telling others i dont like the situation. once again...my confusing self.
i dont know how much longer i can stay awake. im falling asleep and all i can think about is where im going to sleep tonite
things are so weird here. it was so awkward coming and driving up with my dad and stepmom. usually ill do stuff like take a road trip with my mom and my brother and sister. ive been going through this all for a year now..yet i still havent gotten used to it all yet. maybe because im still being pulled in between two places. hard enough to handle. very hard for me emotionally.
know what i hate. how i deal with things. and how emo i am about practically everything. i seem to let wayyy too much get to me ande well it just makes me look like such a little fucker. lol. it just gets on peoples nerves.
i kinda see why heather and rachel were best friends. and so does heather. i kinda see them becoming best friends again. who knows. they both just have these funny personalities. although rachel is a lot crazier. they just like doing a lot of the same things.. and have alot of the same views on things. who knows.
its 11:51 destin time. please julie call me. i gave up on waiting for anyone else but her. shes the only one remotley caring right now.
i guess im gonna go hit the couch and lay down for a bit next to my phone.
why the fuck is life so gosh damn complicated?