no more choices.

[periwinkelblue]

what do i do?! jesus christmas im so confused and i hate it. school acting life in general this is just for i dont even know. i mean acting...this lady that i went to today she was sort of a biotch to my mommy...ya know it was kewl when she told my mom that she has a beautiful face but then she had to go and say "if i could just get a hold of your hair then you would be beautiful because you have the face" oh man i knew my mom hated her and that she wanted to like shoot her right then and there but not really of course she was just pissed my mom definately did not like her because she acted like she was better then everything and she was putting so many things down. but still i dont know i just really want to find something good where i can get experience. the best thing i have gotten through the whole time i have been trying was doing the plays with jaimie jess and tc. i just need experience and most of the things i have tried havent worked!!!!! this lady told me that new york film academy isnt really good and that none of those acting camps are good. i just need to find something good for me. all i want is to be in the movies to make it big to be in a tv show. i have one of those dreams where it means so freaking much to you that you would die if it didnt happen. like really i have thought of parts that i could have in like all my favorite tv shows!!!! who does that?! i do because i want it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. that is how it is for me and its killing me to find it but all i know is that i just have to keep trying because i know i can make it big if i keep trying and if anyone wants to tell me they believe in me i could really use that not to be like oh tell me you believe in me now!!!! or anything like that its just i could definately use all the support i can get. i just love acting it helps me to forget about everything i LOVE it more than just sooooooooooo many things. so if anyone has any ideas that would be kewl too.

okay i just keep thinking about acting stuff and so i really have nothing else to talk about.

oh by the way i finally figured out what my secret is. i have always thought that i never had a secret for myself because i always told everyone everything. but i have found it and i also found out why it is a secret...and its because no one will understand and that it is so screwed up to even think of it but its there oh well i have to try and change it..