An Open Letter to Stephen Colbert
I fully intend to send this to him, once I figure out his address.
Dear Mr. Colbert,
I am concerned by one of your piece regarding marriage to snakes. The logic of your argument and the precision of your presentation had me convinced -- up until you said the lady wife snake would be "wrapped around your healing staff like a caduceus," simultaneously showing a caduceus image in the background.
As everyone knows Asklepius, deified as the Greek god of medicine, carried the healing staff. However, your background image showed not the proper Asklepius caduceus (bearing one snake on a simple staff), but a winged staff with two snakes.
The winged staff, as everyone knows, represents Mercury, the messenger of the gods; the two snakes clearly denotes those following Hermes, god attributed to the hermetic arts. Though for centuries confusion as to the accurate symbol existed, this confusion has been well cleared. Heck in a handbasket, Stephen, the new AMA symbol adequately reveals this.
A simple error? Something you could blame (pardon the pun) on your staff? I very much doubt it. Your investigative research thus far shows a mind finely tuned to detect such trivial minutea.
I believe you showed that "incorrect" staff intentionally. By including the wings of Mercury, you intended the two staff-twining snakes send a message; legalize herpetological polygamy now.
I find that idea offensive. Clearly God intended man to marry only one snake at a time!
Once your propoganda becomes known, your subtle slippery-slope polygamous plea will earn you a proper tongue lashing -- and not the good kind. Mark my words: the jaws through which the lashing tongues inflict their wrath will remain fixedly hinged.
Concerned. . . .
If anyone out there can find an address to which I might send the letter, I would be grateful. Stephen needs to read this!
Update July 15
I found his address through Blue Gal:
Stephen Colbert
c/o Comedy Central
1775 Broadway
New York, NY 10019
It shall go out in today's mail.
Dear Mr. Colbert,
I am concerned by one of your piece regarding marriage to snakes. The logic of your argument and the precision of your presentation had me convinced -- up until you said the lady wife snake would be "wrapped around your healing staff like a caduceus," simultaneously showing a caduceus image in the background.
As everyone knows Asklepius, deified as the Greek god of medicine, carried the healing staff. However, your background image showed not the proper Asklepius caduceus (bearing one snake on a simple staff), but a winged staff with two snakes.
The winged staff, as everyone knows, represents Mercury, the messenger of the gods; the two snakes clearly denotes those following Hermes, god attributed to the hermetic arts. Though for centuries confusion as to the accurate symbol existed, this confusion has been well cleared. Heck in a handbasket, Stephen, the new AMA symbol adequately reveals this.
A simple error? Something you could blame (pardon the pun) on your staff? I very much doubt it. Your investigative research thus far shows a mind finely tuned to detect such trivial minutea.
I believe you showed that "incorrect" staff intentionally. By including the wings of Mercury, you intended the two staff-twining snakes send a message; legalize herpetological polygamy now.
I find that idea offensive. Clearly God intended man to marry only one snake at a time!
Once your propoganda becomes known, your subtle slippery-slope polygamous plea will earn you a proper tongue lashing -- and not the good kind. Mark my words: the jaws through which the lashing tongues inflict their wrath will remain fixedly hinged.
Concerned. . . .
If anyone out there can find an address to which I might send the letter, I would be grateful. Stephen needs to read this!
Update July 15
I found his address through Blue Gal:
Stephen Colbert
c/o Comedy Central
1775 Broadway
New York, NY 10019
It shall go out in today's mail.