you are no one's hero

[perhaps_again]

i hate that in the end, i come out as the bad guy. as though it's easy to witness your dearest friend slip again. as though taking her to the hospital that night wasn't the hardest thing i've ever had to do. as though it's not an epic kind of worry where it's begins to hurt to breathe.

i hate that so much beauty could be created and overlooked in a weekend but somehow it's hard to remember how amazing the beach is when you're losing friends and no matter how nice the new boy you met is, it doesn't change people dying.

i miss kelley and i missed jose and i miss when sober wasn't a challenge.