Jack the Second
I was walking out of a class, following the throng of students heading towards the underground parking lot. Hope is a fragile thing, I thought as I worried about the results of my Political Science exam. Climbing into my jeep, I tossed my knapsack towards the back seat. Just as I was about to turn the key in the ignition, the passenger side door opened. It was Jack, quite unfamiliar in his high school uniform.
Getting into the jeep, he said, 'I need to talk to you.' I was surprised, wondering what the hell he was doing with me instead of his gang of perpetually wasted cronies. Gaping like a half-wit, I could not force intelligible words out of my throat. Jack noticed that I hadn't started the engine and turned to me, 'Just drive please.'
I was annoyed. 'Funny,' I remarked tersely, 'Last time I checked, this was my car and you were an unwanted guest.' He didn't say anything, but just stared blankly at me.
I shrugged, and got us on the highway. It was a Friday and everyone was heading out of the university campus for the Easter weekend. The road back to town was clogged with cars, horns honking impatiently and pop music blaring out of the open windows. My jeep was forced to stop more than I would have liked. The traffic allowed Jack to make conversation, the kind of conversation that I wasn't sure I wanted to hear.
'I saw you at the party yesterday night,' he said, looking straight out the windshield window. In the weakening afternoon sun, shadows danced on his face. His stern expression reminded me of the Roman emperors, whose pursed lips and aquiline noses were immortalised in ancient coinage and marble statues. 'You were with George.'
'What of it?' I asked while I watched him twist a dark curl around his fingers, thinking to myself that he desperately needed a haircut. He glanced at me before returning his attention the plate number of the car ahead of us.
A few minutes passed without a word being said between us. By this time, the car was travelling at a leisurely speed down the highway. Soon enough, we would be at the town centre where I resolved to drop Jack at the nearest bus stop, leaving him to heaven or hell whichever he preferred. As we exited the highway, I could not help saying that I didn't appreciate being ordered around. 'How would you feel if I walked into your house and demanded trifle and a pot of tea?'
His answer shocked me, for he said in his deep voice, 'I would tell you I loved you.'
I stepped on the breaks, and we lurched forward. Behind us, cars blared their horns and people pulled down their windows, screaming obscenities at my jeep. I couldn't have cared less. Turning his head towards me, Jack smiled weakly. 'Then perhaps I'd tell you to get the bloody tea yourself.'
Before I could say anything, there was a loud rapping at my window. A blustering military-type man was motioning angrily at me. I nodded quickly and got the jeep going. I drove off in a daze, no longer certain where I was headed. Clenching the driving wheel tightly, I couldn't bare to look at him.
'Priscilla,' began Jack, his voice pleading, 'I want you to be my girlfriend.'
I laughed. He was such a funny boy! I expected his friends to pop up, teasing with glee, for it couldn't be the truth. If Jack ever spoke to me after class, it was only briefly and always concerning schoolwork. The notion that he liked me, liked me enough to consider a relationship, was ludicrous. I burst into giggles and said, 'You're fucking mad!'
Jack went a comic shade of red. I suppose he expected me to swoon in joy and happily consent to becoming his romantic underling. Fat chance, I was no fool. I continued, 'You don't even know me!'
'I know that you like peanut butter in your ice cream and sugar on buttered toast. I know that whenever you're annoyed, you twiddle your thumbs behind your back. I know you hate French films and bands with indie pretensions.' he said forcefully, 'I know you enough to bloody care for you!'
Oh hell, I thought, I had a stalker. Jack wasn't finished, 'I hope, no, I know you can love me back. Please, Priscilla.'
He was right, you know. I could love him back, even if such love would have stemmed only from gratitude. It would have taken a while, but I would have been able to return his affections. But was I willing to even try?
When I finally had the guts to look straight at him I could only see my classmate Jack, who was clever and popular, but nothing more than a casual acquaintance in a crowd. I didn't want to hurt him, even if he had rudely presented his suit. I knew I would hurt him, for I had hurt the other Jack, hadn't I? So scared to have my heart broken, I had dashed the heart of the Jack of Spades to pieces
We were two streets away from the bus station. 'You don't want me, Jack' I stated, calm as the sea in summertime. 'Go find Alice or Jane or that girl with the wavy hair. She's pretty and she likes you.'
'I don't love them,' he said, just as coolly. 'I love you.'
I sighed. He didn't understand. 'You can't love me. I'm not a proper girl,' I tried to explain, 'I won't be sweet or caring, and I can't deal with dancing and dates. I despise your friends and I think your taste in shirts is deplorable. I'll die before I tell you my middle name.'
'No need. It's Cassandra,' he said, 'And I'll take you as you are.'
What an idiot, my mind screamed, I'll ruin it for him and then he'll be sorry! At that point, I was desperate to make him forget about the girlfriend business. 'I'm cold and aloof,' I added, 'I don't fucking know how to kiss.' In a moment, I realised that it was the wrong thing to say.
He cracked a wan smile, still nervous. 'I'll teach you, if you'll let me.'
The jeep stopped. We had arrived at the station, and there was silence. I looked at the boy beside me. Jack had nice eyes, bright and kind. They were meant for a girl to gaze lovingly into, and that girl couldn't be me.
I reached across him, my hair tickling his chin, and I opened the door. 'Get out,' I said, tears threatening to fall. I never hated anyone as I hated myself then. Jack tried to take my hands in his, but I pulled them away. 'Please,' I begged.
His shoulders fell, and he got out of the car. He stood on the kerb, holding the door open. I kept my eyes fixed in front of me, wishing vehemently I had never left university for the weekend. The nippy spring wind blew into the jeep.
'I'll wait for you,' went Jack, his voice cracked and rumbled.
Then the door was shut.
Getting into the jeep, he said, 'I need to talk to you.' I was surprised, wondering what the hell he was doing with me instead of his gang of perpetually wasted cronies. Gaping like a half-wit, I could not force intelligible words out of my throat. Jack noticed that I hadn't started the engine and turned to me, 'Just drive please.'
I was annoyed. 'Funny,' I remarked tersely, 'Last time I checked, this was my car and you were an unwanted guest.' He didn't say anything, but just stared blankly at me.
I shrugged, and got us on the highway. It was a Friday and everyone was heading out of the university campus for the Easter weekend. The road back to town was clogged with cars, horns honking impatiently and pop music blaring out of the open windows. My jeep was forced to stop more than I would have liked. The traffic allowed Jack to make conversation, the kind of conversation that I wasn't sure I wanted to hear.
'I saw you at the party yesterday night,' he said, looking straight out the windshield window. In the weakening afternoon sun, shadows danced on his face. His stern expression reminded me of the Roman emperors, whose pursed lips and aquiline noses were immortalised in ancient coinage and marble statues. 'You were with George.'
'What of it?' I asked while I watched him twist a dark curl around his fingers, thinking to myself that he desperately needed a haircut. He glanced at me before returning his attention the plate number of the car ahead of us.
A few minutes passed without a word being said between us. By this time, the car was travelling at a leisurely speed down the highway. Soon enough, we would be at the town centre where I resolved to drop Jack at the nearest bus stop, leaving him to heaven or hell whichever he preferred. As we exited the highway, I could not help saying that I didn't appreciate being ordered around. 'How would you feel if I walked into your house and demanded trifle and a pot of tea?'
His answer shocked me, for he said in his deep voice, 'I would tell you I loved you.'
I stepped on the breaks, and we lurched forward. Behind us, cars blared their horns and people pulled down their windows, screaming obscenities at my jeep. I couldn't have cared less. Turning his head towards me, Jack smiled weakly. 'Then perhaps I'd tell you to get the bloody tea yourself.'
Before I could say anything, there was a loud rapping at my window. A blustering military-type man was motioning angrily at me. I nodded quickly and got the jeep going. I drove off in a daze, no longer certain where I was headed. Clenching the driving wheel tightly, I couldn't bare to look at him.
'Priscilla,' began Jack, his voice pleading, 'I want you to be my girlfriend.'
I laughed. He was such a funny boy! I expected his friends to pop up, teasing with glee, for it couldn't be the truth. If Jack ever spoke to me after class, it was only briefly and always concerning schoolwork. The notion that he liked me, liked me enough to consider a relationship, was ludicrous. I burst into giggles and said, 'You're fucking mad!'
Jack went a comic shade of red. I suppose he expected me to swoon in joy and happily consent to becoming his romantic underling. Fat chance, I was no fool. I continued, 'You don't even know me!'
'I know that you like peanut butter in your ice cream and sugar on buttered toast. I know that whenever you're annoyed, you twiddle your thumbs behind your back. I know you hate French films and bands with indie pretensions.' he said forcefully, 'I know you enough to bloody care for you!'
Oh hell, I thought, I had a stalker. Jack wasn't finished, 'I hope, no, I know you can love me back. Please, Priscilla.'
He was right, you know. I could love him back, even if such love would have stemmed only from gratitude. It would have taken a while, but I would have been able to return his affections. But was I willing to even try?
When I finally had the guts to look straight at him I could only see my classmate Jack, who was clever and popular, but nothing more than a casual acquaintance in a crowd. I didn't want to hurt him, even if he had rudely presented his suit. I knew I would hurt him, for I had hurt the other Jack, hadn't I? So scared to have my heart broken, I had dashed the heart of the Jack of Spades to pieces
We were two streets away from the bus station. 'You don't want me, Jack' I stated, calm as the sea in summertime. 'Go find Alice or Jane or that girl with the wavy hair. She's pretty and she likes you.'
'I don't love them,' he said, just as coolly. 'I love you.'
I sighed. He didn't understand. 'You can't love me. I'm not a proper girl,' I tried to explain, 'I won't be sweet or caring, and I can't deal with dancing and dates. I despise your friends and I think your taste in shirts is deplorable. I'll die before I tell you my middle name.'
'No need. It's Cassandra,' he said, 'And I'll take you as you are.'
What an idiot, my mind screamed, I'll ruin it for him and then he'll be sorry! At that point, I was desperate to make him forget about the girlfriend business. 'I'm cold and aloof,' I added, 'I don't fucking know how to kiss.' In a moment, I realised that it was the wrong thing to say.
He cracked a wan smile, still nervous. 'I'll teach you, if you'll let me.'
The jeep stopped. We had arrived at the station, and there was silence. I looked at the boy beside me. Jack had nice eyes, bright and kind. They were meant for a girl to gaze lovingly into, and that girl couldn't be me.
I reached across him, my hair tickling his chin, and I opened the door. 'Get out,' I said, tears threatening to fall. I never hated anyone as I hated myself then. Jack tried to take my hands in his, but I pulled them away. 'Please,' I begged.
His shoulders fell, and he got out of the car. He stood on the kerb, holding the door open. I kept my eyes fixed in front of me, wishing vehemently I had never left university for the weekend. The nippy spring wind blew into the jeep.
'I'll wait for you,' went Jack, his voice cracked and rumbled.
Then the door was shut.