[Crowe pulled out the phone from the wall to keep him from spilling his secrets like the rest of the town. He was *full* of them, and he doesn't want them getting out, thanks
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[Wilhelm will come to the park, looking for the tree he suspects Crowe is in. Considering the powers he'd previously regained had returned with him here as well, his connection, as minor as it was, still gave him a basic idea of where to find Calleo. He stops a bit in front of the tree, before heading back and sitting on one of the park benches.
A few moments later, Calleo will hear Wilhelm's voice, incredibly clear and calm, in his head.]
[It gives Crowe a start. Considering how much Mayfield has been messing with his mind, it makes him a little jumpy, but he calms down a bit when he hears that it's Wilhelm, and will answer.]
If you have so much to say, is it not likely that at least some of it must be worth saying?
Fear is natural. But in the end, you will have to expose yourself to the world, and see how they view you. It's something every human has to go through, as they mature.~
I can't risk them hating me. I have so many friends here, and Mayfield is pretty much my home now. Without them, I can't make it through all this. I can't.
They're messing with my head again, Wilhelm, and I don't know what to do about it. This has to stop. I can't take much more.
[He really does feel like he's reaching a breaking point. Christmas and April Fools has made him somewhat paranoid, and July Fourth has him still a bit vulnerable.]
~If they hate you, were they ever really your friends to begin with?
If you're looking for an answer, I'm afraid it's one beyond me to give. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to manipulation of one's one mind and memories on this level, attempting to be stoic is the only really recourse.
It's hard to be stoic when you don't even know what's supposed to be real. On July Fourth I felt like I was two different people competing for the same body. As soon as I started to feel like I knew which life was the right one, I'd get slammed with the memories and visions of the others. Or trying to be stoic when you're trapped for three solid days of a vision where everyone in town is dead, their bodies littering the streets.
~You're right. It isn't. But if you want me to speak the truth, Crowe, it's a harsh one. And the truth is that those are things you have to face alone. Everyone has their own trials to face alone, especially here. Those are yours. And it is your prerogative to discover how to conquer them.
I know what you have to be proud of.
And no. I won't be telling you. If you can't be proud of what you rightfully should be proud of, then that is your decision.~
~Yes, you will, if you choose to not even bother to try.
You have shown moments where you are capable of extreme willpower and motivation. You need to learn to direct that, instead of letting them be random bursts.~
I'm trying to. I really am. But I've pretty much lost hope. I don't think I'm ever getting out of here, and finding the motivation now is really difficult.
Lesser to them? I've worked a lot damn harder than most people in town trying to figure this place out. Sometimes I think that maybe if we can at least end the torture or dronings, that would be something. But after April Fools day they showed up that the game can change at any time, and things that we learned here don't matter. It's hard to keep standing when they won't let you get your footing.
A few moments later, Calleo will hear Wilhelm's voice, incredibly clear and calm, in his head.]
~Calleo. Will you talk with me?~
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....Okay.
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But the fact is, do you not believe attempting to hide in a tree all day is a bit of an extreme reaction to the current situation?~
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Maybe. I'm not sure what else to do. I want to talk to people but I don't-- I don't know. I have so much to say.
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If you have so much to say, is it not likely that at least some of it must be worth saying?
Fear is natural. But in the end, you will have to expose yourself to the world, and see how they view you. It's something every human has to go through, as they mature.~
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They're messing with my head again, Wilhelm, and I don't know what to do about it. This has to stop. I can't take much more.
[He really does feel like he's reaching a breaking point. Christmas and April Fools has made him somewhat paranoid, and July Fourth has him still a bit vulnerable.]
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If you're looking for an answer, I'm afraid it's one beyond me to give. The fact of the matter is that when it comes to manipulation of one's one mind and memories on this level, attempting to be stoic is the only really recourse.
To have some pride would not hurt you, either.~
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...
I don't know what I have to be proud of.
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I know what you have to be proud of.
And no. I won't be telling you. If you can't be proud of what you rightfully should be proud of, then that is your decision.~
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I'm afraid I'll go crazy before I can do that.
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You have shown moments where you are capable of extreme willpower and motivation. You need to learn to direct that, instead of letting them be random bursts.~
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Others have found motivation for what they're doing despite also believing leaving here is hopeless.
That you cannot shows, perhaps, that you are in fact lesser to them.~
[Get mad at him. He's been able to occasionally push you this way before. Get angry.]
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Lesser to them? I've worked a lot damn harder than most people in town trying to figure this place out. Sometimes I think that maybe if we can at least end the torture or dronings, that would be something. But after April Fools day they showed up that the game can change at any time, and things that we learned here don't matter. It's hard to keep standing when they won't let you get your footing.
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We don't need to outrun them, but merely keep pace.~
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I thought I was keeping up, but it's obvious I'm drowning. I don't want to. I really don't. I just don't know what else to do anymore.
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