(no subject)
i've decided to just let go of the past, whether its the recent past or the far past and let angela fully show me i can really trust her.. otherwise im not going to get any further with my trust issue. i tend to bring up and relate things that happen in the present to my past, whether it was with her or with matt, and its not fair to her. she shouldve started with a fresh slate and she didnt.. sure, she's given me tons of reasons to be afraid to trust her, but from the very begining i was cautious and thats what isnt fair.. atleast now that im doing it i wont worry as much and i'll be able to handle a lot more than i am now. but if something happens.. i just wont know what to do.. its hard to trust someone to the fullest, but she deserves to start out clean, even if we've been together for awhile. my past needs to stay in the past. if it wasnt a good one, then why would i drag it into my present to make it just as much, if not more, horrible? well.. my decision is made.. i hope she doesnt mess it up, because she wont only mess up my trust, but she'll destroy me.