(no subject)
Silly insomnia. I'm filming again tonight. Proper realistic acting. I forgot to say how much I already love film acting…I'm big on every little breath and glance on stage but it all too often gets lost - but on camera, ah man - it's everything. A tiny purse of the lips, a flash of the eyes...you can even time your blinks. I love it. I love hitting my mark, angling my my face, positioning my feet doing it the same but better over and over again. Never tired, always on. The less, the better…it's so economical where as stage is TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH LOOK AT MEEEEEE (now look at him) MEEEEEEEEEEE (her) and whilst that's a joy in itself and far more like living life…on film, you are life and that's a very interseting thing to be and why new actors on soaps look odd until they've had a few weeks learning how to live as their characters.
I am having a big old think about assets/deficits at the moment. It goes a little something like this
Assets
Have a really good fringe/short film CV now. Don’t look like an upstart.
Have paid for training and review by professionals.
Am possibly in good stead to live the actual dream which is to do part time training next year.
If that goes well, I can keep doing grown-up work whilst I baby train, hopefully I will be a dynamo genius and blag my way on to a classical acting MA.
Work going well. Look and feel competent. See - things are okay really.
Have a roof over my head until after the 'lympics. We'll start to panic next September (anyone want a lodger for 20 months whilst I make a go of acting)
Kind of managing to hold on to the same weight even in carb hell season. Thank you Lord Zumba and Lady Heath-Walking.
Only one more week (and a couple of days) of penury, then we're free and clear(ish) Willy, free and clear.
Deficits
I am still not feeling it. I got no joy. Need some joy. Need to be stricter about running and swimming for extra endorphins.
Can't seem to cook for myself. This means Something Is Up.
Starting to get bad juju from the whole amateur acting scene…time to move on
Seriously properly need some sort of reassuring physical contact. I jump when people touch me these days. It has been too long. Possibly so long it might be a dreadful idea. Maybe should try the 12 year old girl tactic of horse-riding.
90% of people on dating sites have beards. THIS IS WHY THE NATION IS IN RECESSION.
Home feels weird. Really weird.
Really want home to be comfier and cosier…I need a Big Sort Out and a new bed. Really need a new bed more than anything.
Family. Feels like a liability rather than a safety net sometimes. Wish I were closer.
Light. Need much more light.
Tried calling people last night. Didn’t work. Don't like it when people are not the answer. Something Is Definitely Up.
I am having a big old think about assets/deficits at the moment. It goes a little something like this
Assets
Have a really good fringe/short film CV now. Don’t look like an upstart.
Have paid for training and review by professionals.
Am possibly in good stead to live the actual dream which is to do part time training next year.
If that goes well, I can keep doing grown-up work whilst I baby train, hopefully I will be a dynamo genius and blag my way on to a classical acting MA.
Work going well. Look and feel competent. See - things are okay really.
Have a roof over my head until after the 'lympics. We'll start to panic next September (anyone want a lodger for 20 months whilst I make a go of acting)
Kind of managing to hold on to the same weight even in carb hell season. Thank you Lord Zumba and Lady Heath-Walking.
Only one more week (and a couple of days) of penury, then we're free and clear(ish) Willy, free and clear.
Deficits
I am still not feeling it. I got no joy. Need some joy. Need to be stricter about running and swimming for extra endorphins.
Can't seem to cook for myself. This means Something Is Up.
Starting to get bad juju from the whole amateur acting scene…time to move on
Seriously properly need some sort of reassuring physical contact. I jump when people touch me these days. It has been too long. Possibly so long it might be a dreadful idea. Maybe should try the 12 year old girl tactic of horse-riding.
90% of people on dating sites have beards. THIS IS WHY THE NATION IS IN RECESSION.
Home feels weird. Really weird.
Really want home to be comfier and cosier…I need a Big Sort Out and a new bed. Really need a new bed more than anything.
Family. Feels like a liability rather than a safety net sometimes. Wish I were closer.
Light. Need much more light.
Tried calling people last night. Didn’t work. Don't like it when people are not the answer. Something Is Definitely Up.