Saturday

[perfectlylost]

Tonight was a glimpse of what is to come for me. I realize that my parents have released me, and it was surprising to hear it. We laughed, together as equals, and it was something that almost felt pure. It is not as scary as I thought it would be, but at the same time, that security rings false in me. I know I am afraid, I always have been. Now, even with the most advanced ammo, I still stand trembling. I know there will be more demolishing of self before things, or if things get to comfortable again. I cannot be sure I will ever get back. The more I work to get there, the farther away it appears. Trials that fail eat at me, every day I feel what I shouldn't and don't want to feel. This fear protects me from the worst, but offers me lesser pain in exchange.
(And I miss you, I wish we could see where we will be. Please be here with me)