Disagreement Etiquette
Growing up, I took away three key factors to looking gracious and always appearing victorious in the eyes of others
#1 Complaining does not mean you're the victim
#2 Being louder does not mean you're right
#3 Winning the conversation does not mean mean you've won the fight.
While I enjoy engaging in #1, it's only because my feminine hormones scream "Victimize yourself!" and if the friends around me understand fully the situation I am in and if I can afford to look lesser than strong in front of these friends. If male friends enjoy partaking in #1, well, time for more testosterone in your system, doode!
#2 is always difficult because anger positively correlates to increase of volume, irregardless of whether you are aware of it or not. However, I've managed to put #2 under perfect control in situations where I want to violently shake someone, and I think it's probably the best practiced out of the three. Speaking minus shouting in an argument, I realized, can also be pretty scary. Spoken from experience. Oops.
Who never wants to win a conversation? #3 can probably only be applicable to saints. But there are many ways I choose to look at this. When someone aims to win a conversation, there's bound to be some slip-up in the course of talking to a emotionless block of wood, aka person you are trying to win the conversation from. I hope to master this in the near future.
So, next time you pick a fight with me, please recognize my ignorance and silence not as a weakness, but just plain indifference to possible childish behaviour :)
#1 Complaining does not mean you're the victim
#2 Being louder does not mean you're right
#3 Winning the conversation does not mean mean you've won the fight.
While I enjoy engaging in #1, it's only because my feminine hormones scream "Victimize yourself!" and if the friends around me understand fully the situation I am in and if I can afford to look lesser than strong in front of these friends. If male friends enjoy partaking in #1, well, time for more testosterone in your system, doode!
#2 is always difficult because anger positively correlates to increase of volume, irregardless of whether you are aware of it or not. However, I've managed to put #2 under perfect control in situations where I want to violently shake someone, and I think it's probably the best practiced out of the three. Speaking minus shouting in an argument, I realized, can also be pretty scary. Spoken from experience. Oops.
Who never wants to win a conversation? #3 can probably only be applicable to saints. But there are many ways I choose to look at this. When someone aims to win a conversation, there's bound to be some slip-up in the course of talking to a emotionless block of wood, aka person you are trying to win the conversation from. I hope to master this in the near future.
So, next time you pick a fight with me, please recognize my ignorance and silence not as a weakness, but just plain indifference to possible childish behaviour :)