(no subject)

Jan 05, 2006 16:38

so today in english we talked the whole period about death and religion
and i could go on about my opinion on it, but i dont really feel like it
what i realized is pretty obvious, but is one of those things that most people dont really think about
if i had had this conversation in my freshman english class, everyone would have agreed
like: oh yeah sure i believe in god, im not about to contradict you i dont want to debate...
but this was like one person would be like: i believe in god
the next would be like: i think reincarnation is soooo cool
and the next would be like: i think you just end, that's it goodbye

and i thought: every person in this class has an opinion
it's like in the past for years we went from scared freshman thinking our answer is the wrong answer
to mature seniors who will speak their mind and support their opinions

it was crazy
i know it doesnt seem that crazy but then i started thinking about it
and i never really thought about what happens after death until this year
and then i really started to think about it
not like, in a suicidal way, dont worry
but death has been all around this year and you cant tell me you havent stopped to wonder
to doubt what you believe
to imagine what living for eternity must be like

and as all these thoughts when zooming through my mind i thought: holy shit, im growing up
and for the first time, it wasnt a scary thought
usually growing up is terrifying
but here, it felt good
it feels like my opinion not only counts, but it could spark someone else's opinion

i cant really put this down in words because it's kind of crazy
but it's nice
you know?
and i guess if you dont understand you wont until you're sitting in english and a whole debate on what happens after you die comes up
it's funny
someone around me asked if i was scared of death
when the truth is: no, not really, i mean yeah if a killer was coming after me i'd run and scream, but if that's how i go, then fine
it's just all the people i'd be leaving behind i'd miss
okay way too many thoughts in my head right now
i just thought i'd post this for however many people can understand
and if you want to put in your two cents on the topic, be my guest
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