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[perfectfriction]

Maybe I'll win but for now, I've decided to die. I'm angry. Not upset or something. Just all together angsty. There is no real reason for it eighther, that's what I don't get. I'm really really pissed off. It makes no sense to me. I want to throw things into walls. I want to beat the living hell out of somebody or myself. I can't stand

Comments

[finklestein]

Kayla, I have known you for a while now. And in all the time I have known you, you have never opened up to me.. really confided in me, and really showed your emotions. I don't know if you just tell other people.. or what.. but I am only going on what I have observed. You need to open up.. and get your feelings out. To someone.. or something. And then you will realize how crazy you are, and then you will realize that is how you accept yourself. Drinking is not the best thing to do to drown your emotions. (Even though, Mick does it, that is not the point) You seem to fight your emotions a lot.. you never really exactly express them, except in revegeful ways, and acts that only if you observe closely you will see. Even during the whole Mark thing that happened, you never told me what you were feeling truthfully. I knew you were pissed, and you would never tell me. You would just sit silently.. maybe you ranted to other people, or not.. I dont really know. Another thing is that you cannot lose self-respect. You must always be confident of yourself, or you will get absolute no where. Sometimes you don't like yourself, everyone goes through that.. but instead of beating yourself up over it, you have to 1st accept it, and then change it, if you wish. You need to realize that you are, indeed, an important person, and to keep telling yourself that. You also need to express your emotions.. You are almost 15 years old.. you have, and will continue to have, way too many hormonal emotions.. just like the rest of the bunch. Everyone goes through it. Remember when Conor tried defying puberty? Then he just made an entry not too long ago claiming he was crying or something, and didn't know why. Everyone goes through these stupid teenage emotions, and that is why they grouped all us highschoolers together, so then they could all deal with one another until we grow up.

You should know, you have friends who care about you, love. I care about you.. and you need to trust someone. Learn to accept yourself, and that is the best you can do. it is the best anyone can do until their imperfect genetic coding calms down the pituitary gland, and when the brain fully makes its little connections. I love you, sweetie.

[perfectfriction]

Thanks Lovie, I needed that.