Dating 101
I've shared this anecdote so many times that I thought I might as well record it down somewhere so that I stop sounding like a broken tape record.
So, a couple of months ago, I was on a Third Date with this guy. He was a super decent bloke, german, 37 years old, works in private equity. He was a good friend of my friend's boyfriend, also a super decent bloke. So, there I was, having made it to the third (!!!) date with a guy whom I thought would potentially break the bad chain of b@stards whom I seemed be plagued with.
When I met him at the pub, he looked a little upset, so being a good date and hence polite and interested, I asked him what was wrong. That opened a floodgate of his problems starting with the fact that he felt lonely as his friends were mostly married or very attached. He followed with a bunch of more trivial problems including delays in getting his golf club membership.
Tip 1: Do not burden your date with a list of your problems. If you absolutely desperately have to share, then stop at one big (but not too big) problem, max. A litany of trivial problems just make you seem whiney, which is not sexy at all, especially if you're 37 and meant to be sufficiently mature enough to deal with your problems.
The punchline, or rather knock-out blow, came at the end when he finished his litany with "Oh and I haven't had sex in a while"
Tip 2: After you have unloaded all your life problems to your date on anything less than the 10th date, do not expect her to find you sexy. And if she is polite enough not to get up and leave straightaway, consider yourself quite lucky. Unless you are drop-dead gorgeous, in which case you can get away with anything
Needless to say, I have not seen this gentleman since.
He further distinguished himself a few weeks later, when he got his secretary to ring me to invite me to watch golf in Surrey.
Tip 3: It does not impress the girls when you get your secretary to ring them to set up dates. In fact, it just shows that you don't have the balls to ring up yourself and deal with the possible rejection. It's fine to get your secretary to make bookings though.
In true tit-for-tat, I got my secretary to ring his secretary to tell him I couldn't make it.
Could I have avoided this mistake? Probably. The warning bells should have sounded on the basis that he was single over 35. (I will expound on my thesis that men over 35 are toxic in another post in the future.)
Ah well, we live and we learn. :)
And now it's back to my boring conference call on legal issues...
So, a couple of months ago, I was on a Third Date with this guy. He was a super decent bloke, german, 37 years old, works in private equity. He was a good friend of my friend's boyfriend, also a super decent bloke. So, there I was, having made it to the third (!!!) date with a guy whom I thought would potentially break the bad chain of b@stards whom I seemed be plagued with.
When I met him at the pub, he looked a little upset, so being a good date and hence polite and interested, I asked him what was wrong. That opened a floodgate of his problems starting with the fact that he felt lonely as his friends were mostly married or very attached. He followed with a bunch of more trivial problems including delays in getting his golf club membership.
Tip 1: Do not burden your date with a list of your problems. If you absolutely desperately have to share, then stop at one big (but not too big) problem, max. A litany of trivial problems just make you seem whiney, which is not sexy at all, especially if you're 37 and meant to be sufficiently mature enough to deal with your problems.
The punchline, or rather knock-out blow, came at the end when he finished his litany with "Oh and I haven't had sex in a while"
Tip 2: After you have unloaded all your life problems to your date on anything less than the 10th date, do not expect her to find you sexy. And if she is polite enough not to get up and leave straightaway, consider yourself quite lucky. Unless you are drop-dead gorgeous, in which case you can get away with anything
Needless to say, I have not seen this gentleman since.
He further distinguished himself a few weeks later, when he got his secretary to ring me to invite me to watch golf in Surrey.
Tip 3: It does not impress the girls when you get your secretary to ring them to set up dates. In fact, it just shows that you don't have the balls to ring up yourself and deal with the possible rejection. It's fine to get your secretary to make bookings though.
In true tit-for-tat, I got my secretary to ring his secretary to tell him I couldn't make it.
Could I have avoided this mistake? Probably. The warning bells should have sounded on the basis that he was single over 35. (I will expound on my thesis that men over 35 are toxic in another post in the future.)
Ah well, we live and we learn. :)
And now it's back to my boring conference call on legal issues...