Are we the forsaken?
Theres is a stinging torment that rustles my mind in its sleep and causes restlessness. It is the thorn in my side, and no matter how I try to turn away and roll over, it sticks.
It is this thought that I don't want anything to do with anyone in my life anymore; that for once I finally see true colors about people, and yellow streaks are abundent. Its sad. Its sad to realize that one of my best friends is so obsessed with sex and finding a boy friend that she forsakes friends, friendships and throws it all away for her own happiness. I guess im happy for her, she finally got what she wanted, and it only cost her my friendship. Sad.
What has brought about this feeling of restlessness, of torment and annoyance. Perhaps it is also the constant judgement and scrutiny I undergo with my peers. Why is it that my self to everyone is simply skin deep? what I have in my mind, my heart, my eyes, means nothing. What others say, what they comment on my myspace page means more then what I say is in my heart, and it hurts because it cost me someone who I not only invested a lot of time, money and effort into, but a piece of my heart was reserved for her, and she took one look at a stupid web page and what other people said and judged me.
For once I want someone to prove me right; prove to me that there still exists good in people. That beauty is more then skin deep and that we are not as fickle and shallow as we come off.
Its cold out. My body wants someone to keep warm, but my mind has put up a death trap around my heart ready to kill anyone who comes even close. In some ways I couldn't be more lonely and isolated; I know I don't need anyone, period. But sometimes it would be nice to know I at least have one person who has my back.......
It is this thought that I don't want anything to do with anyone in my life anymore; that for once I finally see true colors about people, and yellow streaks are abundent. Its sad. Its sad to realize that one of my best friends is so obsessed with sex and finding a boy friend that she forsakes friends, friendships and throws it all away for her own happiness. I guess im happy for her, she finally got what she wanted, and it only cost her my friendship. Sad.
What has brought about this feeling of restlessness, of torment and annoyance. Perhaps it is also the constant judgement and scrutiny I undergo with my peers. Why is it that my self to everyone is simply skin deep? what I have in my mind, my heart, my eyes, means nothing. What others say, what they comment on my myspace page means more then what I say is in my heart, and it hurts because it cost me someone who I not only invested a lot of time, money and effort into, but a piece of my heart was reserved for her, and she took one look at a stupid web page and what other people said and judged me.
For once I want someone to prove me right; prove to me that there still exists good in people. That beauty is more then skin deep and that we are not as fickle and shallow as we come off.
Its cold out. My body wants someone to keep warm, but my mind has put up a death trap around my heart ready to kill anyone who comes even close. In some ways I couldn't be more lonely and isolated; I know I don't need anyone, period. But sometimes it would be nice to know I at least have one person who has my back.......