場所およびスペース私はなかった (Places and Spaces I haven't Been)
There's roughly 30 days between now and the end of my time in Japan. During my four years and three months here I've seen and done a lot: almost steamed myself alive in the hot springs of Hakone, received multiple stank eyes from the deer in Nara, narrowly avoided being molested by drunk hobos in the streets of Osaka, and gotten mauled by bed bugs at a hostel in Kyoto, among other things. Still, here's five places I wish I could have gone to during my time here that I never got a chance to.
TOKYO GAME SHOW, CHIBA PREFECTURE
Ah, Tokyo Game Show. Something I've only read about in magazines and seen in pictures on the internet. It's a video game expo/convention held annually at the Mekaru Messe that, get this, is actually open to the public. Can you imagine? For a mere 1,000 yen I could have been standing in line waiting to play the latest and greatest games out of Japan, fumbling around with the controls and taking forever to do shit because everything would be in Japanese. I'd probably get in a fight with some impatient otakus. But it'd be totally worth it! And how can I forget all the booth babes there'd be to oggle? I can't...so here they are.
Click to view
SUPER BATTLE OPERA, CHIBA PREFECTURE
In 1992 I walked into my local Chinese carry-out and was amazed when I saw a white dude with a flatop somersault kick a Sumo wrestler in the face. No, I wasn't on acid...yet. I was actually watching a demo of Street Fighter II. For those unaware, Street Fighter is the story of Jean Claude Van Damme and a young Kylie Minogue, who battle the forces of evil lead by Raul Julia. It became so popular that it spawned billions of prequels/sequels/spin-offs, not to mention zillions of other fighting games just like it. Tournaments based on these games sprang out all over the world, like weeds spring forth from the sidewalk, consuming the free time of dedicated digital martial artists. One such tournament is Super Battle Opera, which takes place annually in the summer and draws many combatants from across the globe with promises of money, power, fame, and respect...from similarly nerdy, sweat stained dudes.
INAKADATE, AOMORI PREFECTURE
Once upon a time, in the town of Inakadate, some person came to a startling realization: nobody give's a fuck about Inakadate! And they were right. Inakadate is the type of place you stop to take a poop in one your way to somewhere important like Hokkaido. That's when someone else had the idea to revitalize the town with rice art. I totally would have gone with building a casino, but what do I know. The whole rice art thing seems to be working as several hundred thousands visitors now visit the town just to see it. I wanted to be one of those people, but instead I am left to create my own rice art in Okinawa. My masterpiece being fried rice, obviously. I'm like Picasso when it comes to that.
DISNEY SEA, CHIBA PREFECTURE
When I was 5 years old I went to Disneyland. On the plane I asked my parents if people in Florida spoke a different language than English. Kids say the darndest things. I remember eating shrimp for the first time, going on Space Mountain, kicking Goofy in the balls...or not. What I don't remember is going to a Disney themed water park...Oh, that's right. There was none. If only I could have gone to Disney Sea to rectify that past mistake.
FUKUOKA, FUKUOKA PREFECTURE
Hakata ramen, beautiful womenz, and illegal gambling on sumo tournaments. Do you really need any more reasons than these to want to go to Fukuoka?