ゾンビは私の隣人を食べました (Zombies Ate My Neighbors)
I've taken to calling one of my co-workers Biohazard because she's been spreading her diseases throughout the office since December. I think she's 1 billion percent the reason why I've been sick an unusual amount of times this year. Normally I might get a cold like...once...possibly twice...in the span of 12 months. This year I've already been sick thrice! And I'm sure it'll only get worse as the Biohazard continues to come into work and ooze all over everything.
Anywho, I'm sick. And I've been getting progressively worse since Tuesday. You know it's gotten back when Japanese people wonder if you're OK and actually consider sending you home (because, you know, taking sick days is secretly forbidden and all). I'll admit that I get hella cranky when I'm sick, and that I may even through a tantrum or two, so when my coworkers were like, "Are you ok?" and I was like, "Yeah" and they were like "You should wear a mask" I said "I don't need no fuckin' mask" and went about my business. Of course, they were all stunned into silence and slack jawed-ness (real word there), but really though...masks don't do shit. In fact, I bet the first person to decide that wearing the white surgical masks that are so common across Japan (and a lot of other Asian countries) was probably the CEO of some company, and to encourage his employees to never take off, he said, "Hey guys! If you're sick, wear this mask so you dont spread anything! If you're not sick, wearing this mask will save your life!!! Now let's enjoying work!!!"
But really though...if masks were so effective, why do bamas still get sick? All they do is keep you from coughing or sneezing in your co-workers ramen. They can't stop airborne shit from infecting your ass. They damn sure can't protect you from high levels of radiation. Chemicals would make short work of a mask and kill yo ass if given the chance. Wearing a mask is more likely to cause the spread of disease, since you kind of have to adjust it every now and then, and that's after you've coughed and sneezed in it 7,000 times.
I would explain all this to my co-workers, but I have a feeling that hearing things that would refute their 20+ years of brainwashing about masks would cause them to turn on me or go insane.