the art of not fucking up yellow split peas is lost on me

[perfectbound]

Wow! You know the trick where you run water off the back of a stainless steel spoon over your hands to take the garlic smell off them? It works. Who knew? Sadly, it does not seem to work on asafetida smell. (I'm not sure that tactical nukes would either, though.)

In other news, this fake ice cream is not fucking around. It is better than everything. If you need me, I'll be swimming in a vat of the Carrot Cake (!!!!) flavor.